1 Chapter 001

"Melissa, I've told you once and I will tell you again: I am down with the flu, therefore I will be stuck in bed waiting for death for the rest of the day so I will not be able to attend this 'school' you speak of.  Feel lucky, you've still got another 20 years on you at least, I can not say the same for poor little old me. When you're at school remember: live and let homework!" I said in my fake groggy accent that I always do when I feel like not going to school, weakly raising my hand up for a high five to play my part of "dying lady". 

"Don't give me that bull! I'm not as gullible as I look. You 'had' the flu yesterday and the day before that. I let you off because let's face it, the first few days of school are just introductions that nobody cares about but this is your third day back now and you're a first year six form student! You need to take school seriously now." She said sternly whilst aggressively pointing her finger at me.

I stared at my opposite who had bright blue eyes, straight blonde hair and perfect pale skin compared to my green eyes, brown wavy hair and tan skin. I looked at her seriously "Sometimes I hate you Melissa!"

"Oh trust me Addie, the feeling is mutual at least half the time." She stared at me, feigning anger when I still didn't move from my place, "I gave you two days, what more do you want? A trip to Portugal?" 

"Actually, that would have been nice, not going to lie! You know how I love the sausages there." Melissa's lips twitched in amusement . Oh crap "LITERAL SAUSAGES! LITERAL SAUSAGES!" I screamed, making a point. My cheeks would have been bright red by now if I actually had the ability to blush. I had embarrassed myself so much over the years that I had built an immunity towards blushing. 

Footsteps crept towards my door until I saw my mum's head pop through my door frame "Please don't tell me you woke me up again because of your stupid obsession with those Portuguese sausages!" She drew out slowly. It was easy to tell she was tired. She was a doctor at the hospital with a crazy amount of hours in order to keep our house. She had been working herself to death since dad had left. 

I worry for her, naturally, I mean what kind of sicko would I be if I didn't?

Her once sparkling and vibrant blue eyes the colour of the sky soon turned lifeless and dull under the pressure of her daily life. Accompanying her eerily lifeless eyes were big dark bags encircling her eyes that made her look like she had been punched. Multiple times. Seriously, like hundreds of time! Her eyes could easily be mistaken for bruises.

Her once silky and classy bob of deep chestnut colored hair was now an endless supply of knots and split ends. 

Her skin had a slight tint of green now. Seeing the woman who raised me being so weak that a paper cut would probably kill her, slight over exaggeration but anyways, is hard to say the least but until I can find a job of my own then I really have no other options than to just watch her killing herself little by little. Piece by piece.

"Sorry mum." I look at her tenderly, losing my attitude completely. "You get back to sleep, god knows you need it. I should get changed for school" I heard my sister mutter "and all it took was two days, five of my cookies, six of my brownies, two of my favorite ear rings and my TV remote that you have stolen and lost, for this day to come."

I looked up at her guiltily, "I'm sorry Melissa." I said sincerely. In my defense, the food was just laying around in a padlocked shelve specifically occupied by my sister (we have designated places for our own food in the kitchen) so how was I supposed to know she wanted them?

My sisters logic was lost upon me. I rolled my eyes to myself and ushered my sister out of the room, making sure my mum followed in a close second place.

My first official day of six form was a very big deal for me and I was beyond nervous. 

I ignored the slight vibration my body was making out of fear and made my way over to my oak colored closet that was placed in the far left corner of my room.

I looked through my array of colours that were all messily bunched together in no particular order.

"Hmmmmm...do I want to dress like a four year old grandma today? Nah I don't think I do." I said to myself, "I need something that I look respectable in, not too respectable, but not something that can have me described as a high priced stripper."

Hmmmmmmmmmmm...

After much indecision, I finally decided on picking a light grey long sleeved dress that reached to my knees. I don't know how more I could describe it.....I mean, it's a dress soooooooo...

I walked over to the mirror and smiled in satisfaction.

After brushing my hair and teeth, I headed straight downstairs due to the fact that I have showers at night and I like having my hair down because it's easier.

"Pfft, you look hilarious when you look smart!" My sisters voice boomed through the bottom floor of my house. It sounded like the voice was coming from the kitchen so I took a left from the stairs and made my way to the kitchen.

"Melissa, have I ever told you how much I wish mum and dads condom didn't break so I could be the first child and be the one to harass the second child?" I joked.

She wiped a fake tear from her face, "Almost every day!" 

I went to my cupboard of food and found some out of date cereal that I was too hungry to complain about it.

"Why didn't you remind me to get cereal?" I practically growled at my sister. Okay so I lied, you can never be too hungry to complain.

"Because you were 'ill'" The annoyingly cocky smile that I see almost every day with my sister made another appearance as she said that.

I rolled my eyes and focused on the extra crunchy cereal. 

"So" My sister shifted awkwardly with her usual green tea in hand, "If you need help finding anything, you know where to find me okay?"

I laughed at her inability to be kind without cringing to herself. "Yes, thank you, I appreciate it." I gave her a small, barely noticeable smile  and after I was finished with my cereal, I carefully placed my bowl into the sink so I could clean it after school.

"I know what you're thinking about...." She trailed off slowly. I noticed her eyes were glistening with un-shed tears. "I-i'm thinking about it too." 

I wasn't exactly the crier of the family. I was everybody's rock. They would come to me if they needed a shoulder to cry on and I would let them.

"Come here." I stuck my arms out for a hug and waited for her to copy my gesture. After 10 seconds of looking like an idiot, she practically bounced into my arms for comfort.

"I-i'm sorry, I really thought I wasn't going to think about it this year." 

"Shhhh, shhhh, it's okay not to be over it. It's been two years but things don't hurt any less. That's okay." I soothingly rubbed her back as she made what was probably an unimaginable amount of snail trails.

"It's not o-okay though is it?" She pulled away slowly.

"What she did wasn't okay and it never will be okay, but WE can still be okay if we just give it time." I hoped what I had told her was true. But the truth is, I don't know, it hit Melissa hard when she found out what happened. No one recovers entirely from that.

"I just....It was my f-fault." She looked down at her feet. She had stopped crying now but the sorrow in her eyes hadn't dissolved yet. They haven't dissolved for two years.

"It really wasn't. Don't you dare do that!" I said firmly. "Tell me you didn't do it."

She stayed silent.

"Do not make me yell it and wake up mum!" I never would have but it worked nevertheless "I didn't do it" She replied weakly.

"Now tell me that we're both going to have the best first day!" I chirped enthusiastically.

"You didn't even realize when I left the house yesterday did you?" She rolled her eyes sarcastically.

I sighed in relief because sad Melissa is self-pitying and I don't know how to handle that crap.

"Okay fine, tell me we're going to have the best first and second day ever!" She chanted it back to me quicker this time and louder.

"Now let's get the hell out of here!" I sang.

I picked up my Black backpack and rushed to the door.

"Melon, you have the pleasure of driving me to school remember? So i'd appreciate if you moved your arse!" I said just loud enough for her to hear from the kitchen.

"I hate you!"

"I hate you more!"

"That's not possible because the hate I feel towards you is infinitive." 

I fake gasped at her and rushed past the door to her tiny green car. I don't even know what it's called. Is there a brand of car called 'big block of metal'?

I pulled on the handle repeatedly in hopes to annoy my sister into opening her door faster. 

She soon walked through the front door and unlocked the door, flinging me to the ground when the door actually opened.

"I feel a rock up my arse you bitch." Our front garden was covered in pebbles so you can imagine my discomfort "Seriously, this rock is sharp!" 

Reluctantly, my sister lifted her arm up towards me so I could get up.

I hesitantly took her hand. I wouldn't usually but that rock was.....unspeakably evil. And she was the lesser of the two.

She pulled me up with no foul play much to my surprise. 

"Get in you airhead." She grinned.

I stepped into the tiny piece of crap car Melissa had and sat on the uncomfortable leather seats that were ripping at the seams.

"I love your car" I said sarcastically. Despite saying this, she knows what I truly think. Being able to buy her own car at 17 was impressive. Even this pile of junk.

She breathed in a long breath, almost as if suppressing what she really wanted to say "Thank you kind sir" She said, keeping her eyes on the road.

 Halfway to the school, a loud buzz comes from Melissa's phone.

"Be helpful and read out the text for me please?" She practically begged.

From fear of her killing me in this.....thing, I pick up her phone so she didn't, hoping it isn't her boyfriend sending more naked pics. I still had shivers from the last time. I can't look at his face anymore without remembering and he has little to no clue why i'm suddenly 'being so cold'.

"It says: Melissa, i'm ditching you for fake boobs." Fake boobs was the name for the notorious skank at our school. More STD's than she has brain cells. Her real name was Rita Orrantia but everyone called her fake boobs based on....well...her fake boobs.

Obviously I was just saying that to wind Mel up, her boyfriend is a decent guy, can't say the same about his little selfie friend. *shivers* but nevertheless, he was a good person based on what I could tell.

"REALLY? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? AFTER LAST NIGHT?" 

I was kind of scared of her outburst so I just blinked at her in response.

"You bitch, it's a good thing I understand your eye responses, I would have probably went nuts and drove us both into the lake on purpose if you hadn't of blinked." She was eyeing the rear view mirror that I happened to be in. Thank god for that.

"What does it actually say?" 

"He is sure you gave him an STD, he wants to sue!" 

"Shut up" she growled. 

"But I thought you wanted me to read out your texts? Make up your mind woman!" I rolled my eyes and this time, I recited the real text word for word because- well third time's a charm. "Hey honey, I just wanted to let you know that I love you and you're my world. And last night certainly didn't make that any less true. You shouldn't be embarrassed." I looked at her again in absolute puzzlement after finishing the text.

"What the fuck happened last night?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

"That is not your concern!" She was already looking at the road, but now she trying even harder to focus on it to ignore my question.

"Tell meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." I trailed on the e for as long as I could hold my breath.

"Iforgtoave." She said so quickly that I could only catch a bit of what she was saying.

"I'm sorry?"

She sighed dishearteningly, "I wanted everything to be special and I had a hotel room and it was perfectly designed and decorated. I had everything prepared but..."

"But..." I goaded for her to continue.

"I forgot to...- STOP LOOKING AT ME, YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS!" She yelled, irrationally I might add.  

I look towards the passing by trees and wait for her to finish.

"I forgot to shave.....you know...down there.....and when I realized, I ran out of the room half naked and just left him there without any transportation to get back home...It was two hours away from here." I immediately burst out laughing to the point where i was bright red.

"YOU.....NE-NEED HEL-HELP" I managed to say in between giggles.

"HE- WA-WAS SO WRONG, Y-YOU SHOULD FEEL EMBARRASSED BECAUSE YOU LEFT HIM HIGH AND DRY HAHAHA" I laughed like this was a Ricky Gervais movie.

"I hate you."

"And yet we both know who you're hanging out with at lunch" I said after calming down. 

I wiped a stray tear that was the result of my hysterical laughter.

"Now instead of not being able to look at him, I can't look at you!" Just like that I was laughing again.

"Shut up" She shoved my shoulder softly as a warning and focused on the road again.

***

"You imbecile!" I yelled at her as I stared at the lifeless deer my sister had just ran over. "IT LOOKS LIKE BAMBI! YOU KILLED BAMBI!" I bellowed.

"Oh well, hurry or we'll be later to school." I glared at her evilly "No wander why you like killer documentaries! You're one." I mumbled.

"You've proven your point but what the hell can we do? It's dead!" 

"We could do a quick funeral" I offered.

"Ugh fine!" 

"Haven't you wrote a eulogy? Who comes to a funeral without a eulogy" I said to her silence.

"Mr Deer.- oh wait no, it's a Miss. Or is it a Mrs? Damn it now I feel bad" 

"Ha" 

She hit my shoulder once more "Neutral Deer as I can't determine what you are, you were a pretty little Bambi look-a-like. I once got told I looked like a downgraded Barbie, you look like a downgraded Bambi. See? We had lots in common. I wish we could have shared more moments like this but sadly.....Neutral Deer, I regretfully killed you. It was not my intention, if you wouldn't mind telling your family that before you leave this earth so they don't hunt me down, that would be appreciated. I'm really sorry, but in my defense, you ran right into my car like a blind litt- RIP buddy!" 

"RIP buddy" I repeated and blow kissed at the sky.

"Ok, in the car!" I said. We reported it to....actually I don't know who, my sister just gave me the phone and yelled "EXPLAIN!" Anyways, the deer is dealt with I think? So yeah school! 

***

"Honey, you are my world! You shouldn't feel embarrassed!" Dominic, Melissa's boyfriend, yelled to Melissa who was firmly stuck in her seat with the child locks on all of the doors.

"Just let her.....grieve....grieve the loss of her dignity. Please. She needs time." I said solemnly.

His face automatically fell at that. I'm pretty sure they had a lunch date prepared today. (At a school cafeteria, romantic I know). 

"I'm sorry Dominic" I said, looking him straight in the eyes this time because those nudes were a distant memory now I had something to replace it.

"Addie...you can look at me now then?" He asked me.

"I think you're just paranoid, I always look at you" I tried to cover a snicker with a cough. 

"Oh okay...you're probably right." He smiled sweetly to me and turned to look over at Melissa one last time "Come to our lunch date...please!" He practically begged her. 

When he got no response, he sighed and walked off to the main block building for his form lesson with a sad look on his face.

"Dude! You left him stranded in a place he wasn't familiar with, with no means of communication, money or transportation to get home and YOU'RE giving HIM the cold shoulder?" 

"Shut up!" She growled as she opened the doors to her car.

FINALLY!