14 014

I felt my mind retract back into my most animal instincts. My heartrate soared, every extremity tingled with an overdose of adrenaline. I struggled against the powerful grip that held me like a vice. A voice shushed me from behind my ear, a warm puff of breath tickling my skin. I stopped resisting and held still, frozen as my captor's arms turned me around.

I found my fear-filled eyes looking up into Buddy's, his arm still holding me tightly around my waist, my body pressed against his body, inches from his jaw, his lips. Relief flooded through my bones, evicting fear from my marrow. Another kind of tingling took over from the waning rush of adrenaline, this time warming me from my belly. I lost myself in his eyes, not even attempting to resist their pull. I was aware of his hands on my back, one moving up to my neck. A shiver ran up my spine as his hand traced its path upwards. I could see his mouth moving, but his words were lost in the waterfall crashing somewhere in my ear canal. I could hear nothing over the roaring, rising rush of blood that was threatening to drown me. His eyes were gentle, sincere. His hand softly grazed my neck, my jaw, my cheek.

As his hand touched my skin, I knew that he could feel what I was feeling, that he knew in that moment exactly how urgently I wanted him. Our gazes locked, my chest heaving with breathless inhalations. His eyes burned with something foreign, something incendiary. I couldn't pull my eyes away even if I'd wanted to. I was close to closing my eyes, leaning in to whatever might come next, when his eyebrows knitted together in a frown and he pulled back a little. The rushing sound in my ears slowly faded, and I found myself back in reality.

"That man," Buddy said, never breaking our eye contact. "He can help?"

I blinked a few times, trying to wash away the embers of the fire that had moments ago been raging inside me, urging me to set us both ablaze.

"I think so." I choked the words out, struggling to think clearly. Wasn't this exactly what I'd been trying to avoid? I took a step back from Buddy, filled again with determination. "Yes. We need to find him."

I scanned the distance for him, but the park was empty. Without needing to speak, Buddy and I both set off at a jog. We split up around a small patch of trees he'd been heading toward when I last saw him, but met again on the other side without any luck. We kept searching, reaching the end of the park and quickly looking up the street both ways. Buddy spotted him about one hundred metres away, turning into a small side street. We both ran to make up the distance, slowing once we had him in our sight again.

"What's the plan?" I asked Buddy, puffing again from the unusual exertion. He'd read my mind just minutes ago, so he must have known that I sure didn't have a plan.

"Don't worry. Stay back, I've got this," he said, patting me reassuringly - or patronisingly - on my head. "Cross the road," he instructed me. "I don't want him knowing we're together, just to be safe. I'll be back in a minute. Oh, and can I borrow your phone?"

I nodded suspiciously, and handed it over to him. He ducked behind a low wall, and I crossed over to the other side of the road, trying to see where Buddy had gone. Glancing up ahead to make sure backpack guy was still in sight, I was surprised to see Buddy approaching him from the opposite direction. He must have changed forms to get ahead, I realised, impressed. He was holding my phone, looking completely absorbed in whatever he was doing with it. His head was down, and it looked like he was going to walk straight into backpack guy. I finally caught up, realising that that was his plan - I watched him bump slightly into the other man's shoulder, turning and apologising briefly before continuing. He walked a little further, then jogged across the road to meet me. I anxiously watched the backpack guy turn down another street and out of view.

"Don't worry, I've got it all here," Buddy said, tapping the side of his head as he reached me, slowing to a walk and handing me back my phone. "Name, address, favourite brand of undies," he grinned.

"Smart," I said, only just noticing how useful Buddy's ability would be.

"But we don't need him anymore anyway," Buddy continued as we began walking back toward home. "He does have a contact in Perth who does fake IDs, and I've got his contact details too. I know where to find him and how to get in touch."

"Wow," I said, surprised that the first step in the process had been so simple and easy. Although it was mostly just dumb luck that I'd stumbled onto their conversation. And that Buddy had turned up when he did. That brought another thought to my mind.

"Were you following me?" I asked Buddy pointedly.

He glanced at me sideways, looking sheepish.

"Not exactly following you, but..." he petered out, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, yeah, I was kind of following you."

"Why?" I demanded.

"Because you seemed... unsettled."

"What do you mean? You didn't see me this morning. Were you spying on me too?" I felt a rush of anger as I interrogated him.

"No, it's not like that," Buddy replied quickly. "Even if I'm not that close to you, I can sense a kind of... I guess the closest term is aura. Kind of like a vague impression of your emotional state." He looked at me, then added quickly, "I promise I wasn't reading your thoughts or anything. It's just something I can sense, whether I try to or not. I can feel the essence of the people around me, and this morning yours was just a bit... you know."

"No, I don't know." I stopped and faced him, annoyed. "What was my essence like, Buddy? What aura was my soul emitting so that you felt the need to stalk me?"

"It- Bea, calm down."

"I'm calm." I folded my arms, waiting.

Buddy scratched his head.

"I don't really know how to explain it. I can sense every person around me, and every soul feels a little different. I've learned that the differences are mostly personality, upbringing and so on, but also their emotional state. That guy from the park, his was really shifty, nervous. This morning yours just felt different than usual. It felt sort of confused or torn. I was worried. I'm sorry for following you. I can see now that it made you uncomfortable."

I let go of my annoyance and sighed.

"It's fine. It worked out for the best anyway. If you hadn't been creepily stalking me, we probably wouldn't have gotten the information we got today." I started walking again, checking the time on my on my phone. "Not a bad result before breakfast."

"Speaking of which, I was going to make you some this morning. I learned a fantastic pancake recipe from some guy at Kmart yesterday," Buddy said with a grin.

"You're on," I laughed.

We walked for a few more minutes in companionable silence.

"So what was his favourite brand of undies?" I asked abruptly.

"Calvin Klein."

I glanced at Buddy and we both laughed.

We turned the corner onto my street.

"Bea," Buddy started. "I wanted to ask you about something."

"Sure," I replied, my stomach scrunching up at the thought of all the things he might want to ask me about.

"The reason you were feeling conflicted earlier... it was about me, wasn't it?"

I walked a few more steps before answering.

"You read my thoughts. You should know exactly what I was thinking and feeling, shouldn't you?"

"I guess. But it's not the same as hearing you say it. I know what you felt, and what you were thinking, but I don't understand why. Why are you so afraid of being with me?"

"I'm not afraid," I protested, immediately catching myself in the lie. Of course I was afraid. I had never been so afraid in my life. But I'd never had something I wanted so much in my life either. Maybe those two things always went hand in hand. I slowed as we reached my house, knowing that I had to turn and face him, but unsure of whether I could trust myself to stick to my new resolve.

Finally I stopped by the front door and turned to look him in the eyes.

"Buddy, I like you. You've been inside my mind, so you know exactly how much I like you." I felt myself flushing, but I refused to lower my gaze or look away. "But you also know that this is all completely new for me. And I don't learn as quickly as you. I can't know with one touch everything about you, everything you think and feel and want. I have to do things the old fashioned way, getting to know you, talking to you." I paused, taking a deep breath to calm myself. "I'm scared of the way you make me feel. I'm scared of how much I want you when I've only known you for a couple of days. I'm scared of what you are and how much I don't know about you. And I'm scared of losing you."

Buddy's eyes stayed steadily on mine, a mix of desperation and desire dancing like flames in his features. His hand reached up to touch my hair, then stroked softly down to trace my jaw, sending a spray of lightning bolts down my spine. He drew closer, turning the space between us into millimetres of electric air. I felt every inch of my skin responding to his touch as he ran his hand from my jaw, through my hair, to the back of my neck. His voice was husky as he spoke: "I'm not going anywhere, Bea."