118 Epilogue 1.3 - Going Home

"Li ba, it's like you lived in a giant park." Taitai's bells were jingling all around him, running up and down the dirt road and through the open grass near the house.

Amari felt a large arm hang comfortably off his shoulders. "It really is. It's nice." Yangyang's voice was soft and sweet, and Amari could tell he was worried about him. "How did the talk go?"

"It went well, I think." Amari nodded to confirm it to himself, a smile growing on his face. "She was the person I remembered before we fought. Reserved, quiet, but kind. She didn't say much, I did most of the talking, then she told me this was difficult to accept."

Yangyang chuckled and tightened his grip, his tone a bit lighter. "A Li, you always do most of the talking." Amari punched him in the side and he let out a sigh. "How do you feel about it?"

"Okay, actually. It felt good to have a life I want to show off. It felt really good telling her about you. I told her we'd come back later. That I wanted her to meet you."

Yangyang leaned down and kissed him hard on the cheek and Amari's smile widened. The four walked down the road in quiet for a few minutes until Ziggy broke through with a violent sneeze, followed by a string of smaller sneezes, making Taitai giggle loudly.

"Ah, I hate the country, tsé?" His sinuses were stuffy and his throat a little hoarse. "Everything here is trying to kill me."

Amari put his hand out, gesturing to the surroundings. "You should just be happy we're not trudging through two feet of snow right now."

"Mon chéri, I can handle snow. It is winter, hein? Why is there so much crap floating around in the air?"

"Ah, what's that smell?" Taitai interrupted, jingling back to the group and taking Amari by the hand.

"There are a lot of smells, but I'm guessing you mean the horse manure. There's a horse farm right up here on the left. They have alpaca and goats too. Or they used to."

"Alpaca?" Taitai asked under his breath, curious but not really looking for an answer.

The smells from the farm were close now and Amari crossed the road, dragging Yangyang with him. "There should be a fence here..." His cane hit something and he reached out, feeling the wooden post. "Are the horses out?"

"Yeah," Yangyang said, pulling him a little further down the road.

Amari could hear the soft puffing and smell the dust and manure, and of course, the smell of horse. It was a unique scent that had no other description. He reached out his hand to feel the warm breath on his palm, then carefully stretched out further to find its muzzle. His fingers touched the velvet-soft hair above its nose and between its nostrils, and he let out a light laugh.

There were some slow jingles beside him, then a little gasp. "There are so many... Can I touch it?"

Yangyang shifted Amari back a little to let Taitai climb the fence and pet the animal. There was the sound of lips smacking and giggling, and Amari put a hand on Taitai's shoulder.

"Make sure you hold your palm out flat so your fingers don't get caught in its teeth." Taitai giggled again and Yangyang pulled him down off the fence. "We'll buy some carrots, and if its still here later, you can feed it."

Amari heard a groan from across the road behind them, followed by another violent sneeze. "Coudon! Can we get going? I am glad you're having a good time, but this old man is dying over here, tsé?" His friend sounded grumpy and annoyed, which only made Amari smile more. Ziggy was a true city man. It was nice to hear him out of his element.

"Yeah, let's go," Yangyang agreed, turning Amari toward the house and their car. "I'm hungry, so I bet Li ba is starving."

He could only nod in agreement, his stomach rumbling slightly at the thought, and the group headed back down the dirt road. After enough time had passed for the house to be in sight, Taitai jingled over to his father.

"Ba! I'll race you to the car!"

"And I'll easily win." Yangyang chuckled at his son, who grumbled under his breath knowing he was right. "How about I make it a bit more even?"

Without warning, Amari felt a large back pressed to his chest, and in an instant, he was hoisted up. Yangyang's strong arms held tight under his knees and thighs, and his own instinctively circled his neck, resting on his broad shoulders. There was a moment of quiet, then Taitai giggled, pulling the cane from Amari's hands.

"Ready?" Yangyang asked, and Taitai giggled again in reply.

"Wait, what?"

There was no time for Amari to argue. They took off at a sprint down the road. He leaned forward, pushing himself as close to Yangyang as he could, locking his arms together. He could hear the bells jingling wildly next to them and feel the rush of wind in his face as father and son raced. Yangyang had a long, smooth stride and held him tight, so the ride wasn't as jarring as Amari thought it would be. By the end, both he and Taitai were giggling like fools while Yangyang chased his son around the car.

"Oh." Ziggy let out a surprised sound, and both Yangyang and the jingling immediately stopped.

After a moment of awkward silence, Yangyang cleared his throat. "It's your grandmother." His voice was almost a whisper. Instead of putting Amari down, his grip anxiously tightened.

"If you don't already have plans tonight, you are welcome to come for dinner." She sounded calm, pleasant, but her words were stiff and Amari could tell she was nervous asking. "I think I would like to meet your family."

"Yeah, okay. Five o'clock?" He did his best to sound calm like her.

"That would be fine."

His grandmother turned and left, heading back to the house. The group stood in silence for a few moments, until Yangyang cut through the tension with a soft laugh.

"Waaa..." He still hadn't released his grasp and Amari knew that holding him was just as comforting to Yangyang as it was to him. "I am really nervous now."

Amari kissed him softly on the neck and rested his head on a shoulder. "Nothing to be nervous about. Whatever happens, happens."

"She has a really nice smile."

"Yeah." He tried to remember the last time he saw his grandmother smile, a bit sad that it was a faded memory, but glad Yangyang was able to see it.

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Initial introductions were awkward and there was little talking as Ziggy and Yangyang helped his grandmother with her cooking. Amari sat in the large living room with Taitai on his lap, arms holding his son's waist - his security blanket while he adjusted to being back in the old farmhouse. Taitai was too old for it, but it was a habit Amari had difficulty breaking in times like this. He heard the occasional compliment from his grandmother on the men's cooking abilities, answered with a few tense thank you's, and he let out a small sigh.

"Li ba?" Taitai asked, putting a hand on his.

Amari hugged him a little tighter and smiled. "I just never thought I would be back here. It's strange."

"Yeah."

He was older now and knew more about Amari's past, so Taitai understood why his father had been anxious to return. He was outgoing and sometimes wild, but he was also intelligent and emotionally strong. Both Amari and Yangyang wanted him to know about their lives. For them, everything was a learning experience, and it should be the same for Taitai.

"Are you happy? That you came back?

"Yeah, I am," Amari admitted with a little chuckle, not ever expecting to say such a thing. "And I like showing you and your ba off."

Taitai giggled and then took a short breath. "Wèi, Li ba?" Amari hummed to let him know he was listening. "Why was everyone staring at us? When we were walking down the street."

"Were they staring?"

"En."

"Living in a small town isn't the same as living in a city." Amari rested his chin gently on Taitai's shoulder, pulling him closer to his chest. "When you live in a city, you meet all kinds of different people, so you're not surprised when you see someone who isn't like you. But in a small town, it's not so diverse. People are mostly the same. When you see someone who's different, it can be strange and scary. More people are taught that being different is bad."

He paused and felt Taitai nod, and he let out another sigh. "You've met people like that too. The ones who think it's strange to have two bas, or to have one who's blind. There are just a lot more of those people in a small town. When you're surrounded by people who agree, it makes you believe what you think and do is right."

"And your gramma was one of those people?"

"Maybe she still is." Amari kissed his son on the cheek and smiled. "She's old, and it's hard for old people to change their mind. But that's okay. Not everyone has to accept you, as long as you accept yourself."

"Yeah, screw 'em," Taitai said with force, and Amari giggled, tickling his son until he giggled with him.

There were a few heavy footsteps followed by a deep chuckle, and he stopped, letting Taitai down off his lap. "Dinner's ready. Let's eat."

There was an excited shout from Taitai, bells quickly fading as he ran toward the dining room. Amari smiled up at Yangyang, lifting his hands as a request to help him up. In one swift motion, he was pulled into Yangyang's arms, wrapped up in his warmth, and his smile spread wide as his husband kissed him.

"Ready?" asked the deep, kind voice, and he nodded.

He ran his fingers down Yangyang's arm to grab his hand, grasping it tightly and letting it lead him to the others.