58 Chapter 58 Look

The questers followed the spirits up a well-worn path.

Now, one would think the entrance to the Underworld would be the stereotypical Pearly Gates, or some big black portcullis, or something. But the entrance looked like a cross between airport security and the Jersey Turnpike.

There were three separate entrances under one huge black archway that said: YOU ARE NOW ENTERING EREBUS. Each entrance had a pass-through metal detector with security cameras mounted on top.

Beyond this were tollbooths manned by black-robed ghouls like Charon.

The howling of the hungry animal was really loud now, but they couldn't see where it was coming from. The three-headed dog, Cerberus, who was supposed to guard Hades's door, was nowhere to be seen.

The dead queued up in the three lines, two marked ATTENDANCE ON DUTY, and one marked EZ DEATH. The EZ DEATH line was moving right along. The other two were crawling.

"What do you figure?" Andromeda asked Annabeth.

"The fast line must go straight to the Asphodel Fields." The Daughter of Athena said. "No contest. They don't want to risk judgement from the court, because it might go against them."

"Ah, the three judges." Mimir said. "They switch around who sits on the bench. King Minos, Thomas Jefferson, Shakespeare, people like that. Sometimes they look at a life and decide that person needs a special reward – the Fields of Elysium. Sometimes they decide on punishment. But most people, well, they just lived. Nothing special, good or bad. So they go to the Asphodel Fields."

"And do what?" Andromeda asked curiously.

Grover said, "Imagine standing in a wheat field in Kansas. Forever."

"I can think of worse punishments." Jakob scoffed.

"Same here, brother." Mimir agreed.

"Look."

A couple of black-robed ghouls had pulled aside one spirit and were frisking him to the security desk. The face of the dead man looked vaguely similar.

"He's that preacher who made the news, remember?" Grover asked.

"Oh, yeah." Andromeda did remember now. She'd seen him on TV a couple of times at the Yancy Academy dorm. He was this annoying televangelist from upstate New York who'd raised millions of dollars for orphanages and then got caught spending the money on stuff for his mansion, like gold-plated toilet seats, and an indoor putt-putt golf course. He'd died in a police chase when his 'Lamborghini of the Lord" went off a cliff.

Andromeda asked, "What're they doing to him?"

"Probably some special punishment from Hades," Grover assumed. "The really bad people get his personal attention as soon as they arrive. The Fur – the Kindly Ones will set up an eternal torture for him."

The thought of the Furies made Andromeda shudder. She was in their home field now, and old Mrs. Dodds would be licking her lips with anticipation.

"But if he's a preacher," Andromeda said with a knitted brow in thought, "and he believes in a different hell…"

"That's a long story, sister." Mimir cut in before Andromeda could go any further. "Like Jakob mentioned earlier when he referenced the Devil, it's a whole different story. Just leave it at that."

They got closer to the gates. The howling was so loud now it shook the ground at their feet, but they still couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

Then, about fifty feet in front of them, the green mist shimmered. Standing just where the path split into three lanes was an enormous shadowy monster.

They hadn't seen it before because it was half-transparent, like the dead. Until it moved, it blended with whatever was behind it. Only its eyes and teeth looked solid. And it was staring straight at them.

"I assume we're now facing Cerberus." Mimir said, Jakob lifting the head off his hip to show him. "Oh dear."

"He's a Rottweiler." Andromeda gaped.

"Were you expecting a Doberman?" Jakob retorted.

"No... more of a black mastiff." Andromeda admitted sheepishly.

The dead walked up to him – no fear at all. The ATTENDANT ON DUTY lines parted on either side of him. The EZ DEATH spirits walked right between his front paws and under his belly, which they could do without even crouching.

"I'm starting to see him better," Andromeda muttered. "Why is that?"

"I think…" Annabeth moistened her lips. "I'm afraid it's because we're getting closer to being dead."

"Or we're getting accustomed to the Underworld," Mimir suggested. His suggestion seemed more positive, so he stuck with it.

The dog's middle head craned towards them. It sniffed the air and growled.

"It can smell the living," Andromeda said with a gulp.

"But that's okay," Grover said, trembling next to him. "Because we have a plan."

"Right," Annabeth said. They'd never heard her voice sound quite so small.

"Anyone have a big stick to play fetch with him?" Mimir asked nervously. He died once by decapitation, he wasn't intending to die permanently by becoming a dog's meal. "Or music to play for him to fall asleep too?"

"This is not Harry Potter." Jakob reminded him, before his eyes widened and he reached into his backpack for something. he smirked as he drew... an MP3 player.

'Guess I was right in taking this from the Lotus Casino.' Jakob thought with a smirk, having spotted it at some point and swiped it since it never hurts to listen to some good tunes.

Markus pressed the play button, and instantly a theme song began to play. Specifically, the Darth Vader theme song.

The growling three heads stopped and turned to Jakob, as did the group. The three dog heads were swaying to the theme as he sat down with a small quake, sitting on some of the spirits of the dead. His tail was wagging happily to the theme his master would play when he was having souls tortured.

Jakob almost laughed at how the situation played out. So the big bad Cerberus loved music? Well he wasn't complaining.

Eventually the three heads' eyes began to dim. Seeing this chance, Jakob turned to the others and whispered, "Go. I'll catch up."

"What about you?" Andromeda asked.

"I need to constantly repeat it," Jakob said. "Go."

Cerberus' heads started to yawn and laid down on his belly to listen more.

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