eighteen

I looked like I hadn't eaten for days, which I hadn't. I stood before the mirror, now-black hair wet and a towel around me. I lost weight, I thought.

My eyes had bags underneath them and my head was dizzy. It had been three weeks since that night on the beach and we didn't even know one thing about Jullian. The boys and me had spent every ounce of our energy on looking for her details, anything on her to help us know who she works for.

I felt like shit.

Three days ago, I shut everybody out, all of them and sent them home, telling them to rest. I let Young-Jae in today, it was raining outside and he refused to go home. Right now, he was probably making lunch for me downstairs.

I felt like everything was slipping through the cracks of my fingers. Just when I thought I could accomplish one fucking thing in life, it just slipped out. My sanity was at the shoreline, one wave and I'd lose myself. Completely.