Cooking Disaster/Scout's True Identity

The Supreme Deity is addressing her small army of Britannian goddesses who are still loyal to her, encamped in a secret location in the Alps, through a tele-line. They all have received serious power upgrades thanks to "foreign" magic items, drugs, and black jewel shards (different from the Shikon jewel). The black shards inject their bodies with anti-magic (as well as devil power), which will make it much harder for their demon opponents to block, reflect, or fight off their attacks. She also gives them Breath of Bless, or Cheat Hope, which they all willingly accept. This gives them an even greater power boost and removes limitations, but also turns them into overconfident zealous fighters who will not feel any pain or exhaustion until they die. She's also given Cheat Hope to Artemis allies, although they are completely unaware of what's happened to them. Artimes herself banned this technique, as well as deadly experiments, and especially the devil's power. Her allies are also unaware that their leader has been imprisoned as her older sister is posing as her, even mimicking her voice perfectly and shrinking down to Artemis size.

Vald, Artemis longtime personal assistant, is alarmed by the Supreme Deity's plan. He didn't realize just how crazy she was. "Why attack the demons of Cario and Luxor my darling? They've never given us any trouble."

"Are you questioning my decisions?" Caelestis looks at him firmly.

"No...no ma'am. But capturing Queen Hatshepsut..."

"Will force Azarath's hand. The rumors are already spreading."

"I doubt the Egyptians will believe them my dear Caelestis. They trust Azarath and...

"You will address me from now on as the Supreme Deity when on duty. And don't call me darling ever again or your days will be numbered."

Vald, a Romanian goddess, is in shock and confusion. Up until this point, Caelestis had been somewhat kind and decent to him, if a bit eccentric at times. Now she's treating him very differently, like a servant who's beneath her. While she's wasted no time at all getting her plans into motion (unlike her much more cautious sister whose unwillingly to kill or be rash, and probably gives her soldiers to much freedom) she's acting borderline psychotic. For years, she told Vald, who had made contact with her in her seal, that all she wanted to do was get revenge on Barbatos and his demons for wiping out her entire clan, including her daughter, in cold-blooded murder. Now she tells him she wants an all-out war with all the demon clans of Europe and the Middle East, since the so-called holy war in Britannia has come to end and her rivel is now dead.

Vald doesn't understand this. He spent hundreds of years trying to make contact with Caelestis in desperation because he was in love with Artemis, which is way he took the job as her personal assistant and confidant in the first place. The goddess, however, only saw Vald as friend, brother figure, and professional partner, never returning nor taking his affections seriously, eventually falling in love with a kind, Transylvanian demon and married him. Vald pretended he was happy for her and tried to get over her, but he couldn't. Artemis always trusted him despite his earlier "crush" on her, which she never took seriously. Her husband, however, started to grow suspicious of him. It was with the powers giving to him by Caelestis that Vald secretly murdered her husband 25 years ago, in hopes that Artemis would finally return his affections in her grief. However, she still only sees him like a best friend and brother, and he eventually fell for Caelestis seduction, believing that she genuinely loved him.

When Caelestis was sliced apart by Meliodas and Zeldris three months earlier, it was Vald who immediately gathered up her molecules and soul and revived her. He then brought her to Artemis, who was exiled along with Azarath over thirty-two hundred years ago for plotting to end the holy war. Caelestis put on an act and begged relentlessly on her hands and knees for younger sister to help her. However, Artemis wasn't fooled and locked her in a barrier instead until she could figure out how to reseal or destroy her. Caelestis had always hated her sister for just being born and bullied her severely, never understanding why Mother Chaos decided that her and Barbatos (and others) needed siblings.

With these newly enhanced goddesses and others with dangerous tricks and tools, the peace-loving and well-trained, though largely battle inexperienced Egyptian demons may be caught off guard and in way over their heads.

There's suddenly the most awful, horrendous stink in the air. Caelestis quickly throws on one of her sister's cloaks and covers her face. Plant-magic user Ivy Jane, Mr. Anti-Magic, and their group have been released from the purgatory stink chambers, which is the worst sort of discipline that Artimes uses. It doesn't harm them, but they'll have that purgatory stink on them for weeks, no matter how much they wash. Caelestis blows Breath of Bless, aka Cheat Hope, on the magic users, but it won't work on Mr. Anti-Magic. Instead, she sticks black anti-magic jewel shards all over his body, giving him a gigantic power boost. She also gives him a drug to use which will make him even more powerful, but only for a short time. They will be led by Ching Liang and Juno, an infamous Roman goddess who loves war.

"Where is that demon slayer? She's lucky I retrieved her and giving her a chance to redeem herself from her humiliating personal defeat."

"She left with the other demon slayers you rounded up to capture that vulacish while she was still weak;" answers Vald.

Caelestis has fury in her eyes; "I don't care about that vulacish! Just kill her already. And why isn't my spy in Cario answering!?"

"Madame, I mean your highness;" Artimes never allowed anybody to refer to her as queen or ruler, only as Madame or Me Lady; "somebodies coming."

"Curses!" Caelestis pulls the hood back up as Ching Liang and two others enter pulling Nuri in with special chains, wearing the restraint cuffs. "Look Madame Artemis, we finally caught her, for real this time!"

"Whatever;" responds the Supreme Deity; "Now listen, you're leaving to invade the Luxor demon realm in half an hour. Get ready NOW!"

Ching Liang is surprised; "Ma'am, I thought you'd be happy for me. She's been a thorn in both of our sides for..."

"Did you not hear my orders. Leave her and go, NOW!"

"Yes ma'am." Ching Liang and her comrades left. Madame Artemis does seem a lot more, moodier than usual. Maybe she's not feeling well.

"What do you want me to do with her, Cael...I mean, Supreme Deity?"

"Whatever you want. Kill her for all I care, throw her into purgatory."

"I doubt that will keep her out of action for long, your highness. She'll just reincarnate and come after us again in a few years. She's cursed."

When Caelestis hears that, she looks at Nuri, who sneers at her. The goddess doesn't recognize this face, but there's something eerily familiar about her. Looking closer into her soul, the Supreme Deity can't believe it.

"YOU?! You're that brat from Belialuin that I cursed! Well now, how have your many lives been going?"

Nuri doesn't answer, she just turns up her nose. Caelestis can't stand that look of unbrokenness and blasts her out of the chambers. "Put her inside that cube cell, she's far too weak to break out if it." She glares at Nuri again, who just glares back. "Cursed child, why did you show up after all this time. I don't know how you became a vulacish, but you'll regret allowing yourself to get weak. You better regret ever being born."

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In the demon realm, Meliodas is forced to use a "borrowed" kitchen in the village because the palace chefs won't allow him into the main kitchen, and he promised Cleo not to enter her private kitchen again (the owner of the bakery is at the market in Luxor). He has assembled Willie, Inuyasha, and Ramesses to help him. They are all scrubbed up in cheesy, powder blue aprons with pink ruffles and multiple color floral patterns, plus head scarfs that Meliodas forcefully put on them, even the cat.

"THIS was your big emergency?" asks Inuyasha completely annoyed; "Why did you drag ME into this? I wasn't the one who ate that cake."

"Don't you know what sanctuary means Meliodas?" asks Ramesses.

"You were on the chapel porch eating a bowl of fish scraps, not inside it;" Meliodas giggles.

"That you put there on purpose to lower me out. That's cheating!"

Meliodas takes out a bunch of ingredients, although he's eating more than twice what he's putting on the counter. He doesn't even need all that fruit, chocolate chips, honey, syrup, sprinkles, nuts, marshmallows, and premade cookie dough.

"Are you planning to cook with any of those ingredients or eat them all Meliodas?" asks Willie.

Meliodas swallows. "I'm just testing them, to make sure their safe for cooking."

Inuyasha and Ramesses try to sneak away, but Meliodas swops in front of them; "I don't think so. I'm going to need all the help I can get."

"I don't know anything about baking Meliodas;" says Inuyasha; "especially in a weird kitchen like this, with food I don't even know."

"What was I brought here for anyway?" asks Ramesses; "I don't cook, and you'll surely attract the scraps brigade. Big Guy's still got a score to settle with me."

"There's a scraps brigade?" asks Inuyasha.

"Really?" adds Meliodas; "So you and Hawk aren't the only members of the Order of Scraps Disposal. Is Angel a member of it too?"

"We ain't no Order of Scraps Disposal!" yells Ramesses; "And I HATE them! They're lunatics, savages, they torture me, their mean, their ugly, they don't share! And no Angel isn't involved with them! Cleo doesn't even allow her to eat scraps, not old or bad ones."

"What's this scraps brigade consist of?" asks Meliodas; "Any swine?"

"You don't want to know."

Meliodas giggles as he takes out cookware; "Sounds like Hawk's got competition for the title of scrapes Captain. Though I'm one to talk as of late."

The next hour or so is extreme chaos. Willie had found a recipe for hazelnut cake, but Meliodas wouldn't listen to the directions, claiming that he cooked by "feel". Inuysaha and Ramesses try to avoid getting involved and are horrified by what the dragon sin is doing. He literally just throws a bunch of stuff into the bowl, a little of this and a lot of that, anything he thinks sounds good together, including lots of cinnamon, and grounded up "coffee", which he's mistaken for cocoa powder (neither of which is in the recipe). He even throws in stuff he dropped on the floor and half eaten scrapes that he can't help but "test" first. Inyausha takes it upon himself to make sure Meliodas doesn't "accidently" eat up "all" the ingredients. He doesn't know how, but Inuyasha ends up stirring the batter, which looks like something out of one of those horror films he saw on that "magical box" when visiting the future with Kagome. It smells awful.

Willie and Ramesses attempt a separate batter on their own. Willie tries to follow the recipe but doesn't understand everything and has a bad sense of how it all goes together. He even mis reads that he's supposed to put in a teaspoon of baking soda, putting in more than a cup instead. He also decides that it doesn't need so much sugar or "fattening" eggs in it, putting in only 3 eggs instead of 6, and a teaspoon of sugar instead of a cup into the batter. When he finishes the steps, both he and Ramesses think the batter's not thick enough and add a little bit more baking soda and yest (not part of the recipe) into the bowl. Their batter doesn't look any better than the dragon sin's.

The room is a complete mess, and is filled with the most awful smell, which Meliodas doesn't seem to notice. Inuyasha, who has put a clothes pin on his canine-like nose, and the monk refuse to taste test the batters and tell Meliodas to do it himself. Ramesses is a little braver as he's used to eating from garbage cans and discarded fish and other scraps. Unfortunately, even he can't stand the taste of Meliodas's batter.

"What the hell is this junk?! Garbage taste better than this shit."

Meliodas gathers up his courage and samples both batters. He feels like puking but forces himself to swallow the nastiness of his own batter, chasing it down with a whole pot of honey. Willie's batter isn't any better, in fact, it tastes like chalk and who knows what else. Meliodas then chases that down with a large bottle of thick pink liquid, which taste like cherries. None the less, Meliodas enthusiastically gets to work again, dumping a whole pot of honey into both batters, plus chocolate syrup, assuming that would make them much sweeter, then puts them both into the ovens (one of which is actually for baking bread). Willie tries to adjust the ovens but isn't sure the temperature's right and cranks them up.

Inuyasha attempts to make the caramel frosting as Ramesses reads the recipe, which is long and complicated. For some odd reason, both Willie and Meliodas have already mixed lots of premade frosting "inside" the supposed cake batters. While the dragon sin remains optimistic that the cake will somehow turn out ok (although nothing ever does), the other three guys know it's a natural disaster and they plot to make sure that Meliodas will eat it all up, interested if his black hole of a stomach will be able to handle it.

Willie then notices one of the bottles that Meliodas drank from and the pink liquid stains inside it. He gasps when he picks up the bottle and reads it.

"Meliodas, did you drink this stuff?"

"Oh yeah I did;" answers the demon; "To chase down that nasty batter of yours. It was yummy. Is there anymore?"

"Meliodas! This is a very strong laxative for bad constipation!"

"Huh?" The dragon sin really hopes he's joking. Inuyasha and Ramesses gasps.

"Oh NO!" yells Ramesses; "Not that stuff!"

"A laxative?" says Inuyasha; "And you drank the whole bottle?"

Meliodas just shrugs it off; "Ah I'll be fine. Laxatives don't affect me?"

"Do you mean laxatives for humans, or for demons?" ask Willie.

Meliodas eyes widen silently, but he tries to shrug it off again. Two minutes later, however, he's taking that back and dashes for the restroom.

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The invasion plan isn't going quite as expected. The Supreme Deity had given Ching Liang the jewel from Japan, as well as an ancient meteor rock shaped like a star, infused with ancient volcanic ash, another piece to the seal puzzle, that she had retrieved from Krakatoa awhile back (unknown to Artemis). The plan was to invade Cleo's demon realm via the chamber that once contained the Stone of Destiney. However, after two hours, the doorway is still refusing to open. The team can't help but wonder if there's a trick to it that not even Caelestis doesn't knows about. They try several other backup tricks, hoping to break in through the "backdoor". Unfortunately, the gates are sealed tight. The "secret" codes they did have aren't working, or no longer work, indicating that they must've been changed recently.

"Queen Hatshepsut-Cleopatra might be cheeky;" says one of the team; "but she's not stupid."

Ching Liang gives up on the sneak attack. She decides to break in directly by forcing their way through the main entrance. That wasn't the plan, and will surely cause massive chaos, however, it's the slayer's preferred method. As they start to leave to find the main gate, an unplanned portal opens up and some of the Cario invasion team emerge.

"What are you doing here?" asks Ching Liang; "What happened?"

Juno, the Roman goddess leader of that team, speaks; "Azarath's not in Cario."

"What do you mean he's not in Cario?!" yells one of the other goddesses; "He's not scheduled to leave today."

"He's here, in Luxor;" explains Juno; "Some foreign strangers showed up searching for somebody named Meliodas and they left for Luxor this morning. Queen Hatshepsut is supposedly up there too for market day. And look who we found in a cell."

They present Bela, the copycat. Shocked that she had been discovered, Bela explains that one of the stranger's was a mind reader, a rare, strong type who used invasion. Although he wasn't able to recover anything, they deducted that she's from Transylvania and that Artemis may be involved (although Artemis knows nothing about the spy).

Artemis allies are confused about a spy being Azarath's monastery. However, their minds have been altered to obey "Artemis" without question, to the death, and blocks most of their free-will thinking and ability to reason. The Supreme Deity's allies make no qualms of openly discussing all this around the "outsiders".

Ching Liang is the only one present who isn't under any spell (Juno is only under the Cheat Hope spell). She helps Artemis out, for a fee, because the goddess saved her life several years ago. Although she hated Artemis order to not kill or cause any unnecessary suffering in recovery the relics, she reluctantly obeyed because of the generous pay and respect for the goddess. She usually kills demons and "other bad people" for a living and doesn't question this sudden change in orders to kill demons.

"Wait a minute;" says one of the Britannian goddesses; "Did you say they were looking for Meliodas?"

The other Britannian goddesses' gasps. They ask Bela if she knows where the strangers were from.

"I believe they said they were from your homeland. They were also speaking to Azarath in British; I mean Britannian."

"Describe what those people looked like."

Bela only vaguely remembers what the woman looked like, but the male (in Arab ladies' clothing) stood out. She describes him as tall and skinny with gold eyes, glasses, and burgundy hair, along with the fact that he was the mind reader. The Britannian goddesses realize this must be Gowther, the Goat Sin of Lust. They've only recently been made aware of Meliodas's blood relation to Azarath and Cleo, which may explain why he's come here (not knowing it was an accident).

Ching Liang and Juno immediately come up with a new plan. Half will invade Luxor, while the others continued towards the demon realm. If they come across Meliodas, they'll capture him as well. The two goddess ambers they have, enhanced with both anti-magic and devil's energy, are strong enough to hold Azarath, Cleo, and even the now dead demon king, they will surely hold Meliodas. After much debate, they finally decide that the demon slayer will go to the demon realm (which she wanted, despite wanting to personally capture the demon queen herself) and Juno will attack Luxor. One of Artemis allies has a dangerous and risky back up plan he's been wanting to try (not approved by Artemis), but it may provide the right distraction to nab the demon queen.

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Inuyasha has stepped outside for some 'fresh air' as that awful stench coming from the ovens is getting worse. He's also having to keep away these 'strange beasts', some of whom can talk, away. They are the Scraps Brigade, consisting of a wacky trio of hyenas, a vulture, a large lizard-type creature, a wild cat, and even a couple of overgrown raccoons. All of the dogs, both demon and regular, as well as the children who were playing out here earlier, have all fled from the stench.

Speaking of bugs, Ramesses comes out and tells Inuyasha to get his 'flea buddy' off of him.

"Myoga? Where have you been?"

Myoga gets on the half-demon's shoulder. "Glad I finally found you Master Inuyasha. I've been held prisoner in a jar by a wacko entomologist who did all sorts of experiments on me. He even tried to dissect me. Glad I finally got away from him. Anyway, since when did you take up cooking Master Inuyasha? Nice apron by the way."

"Shut up."

They smell burning coming from both ovens. Willie had thought the cakes weren't rising and had cranked up the heat. He quickly turns them off and opens the one containing his batter. It's literally on fire. Inuyasha douses it with beer as that was the first liquid he sees, which then causes the oven to catch fire. They smother the fire and Willie then takes out the disaster. It is very overgrown and heavy, still burning on the inside, and literally looks like a lava rock. Willie can't even put a knife through it, and when Inuyasha tries, the knife breaks. They then take out Meliodas disaster. His is partly burnt on the outside, but soupy on the inside, and it barely even rose. Inuyasha and Ramesses speak to Meliodas through the bathroom door and try to explain what happened. He just tells them to put the two cakes together and put lots and lots of frosting on it. Since Inuyasha's frosting taste like wallpaper paste, it's perfect, especially since Meliodas will be the only one eating it.

That is if they can keep the Scraps Brigade out, which keep knocking on the door, waiting impatiently for scraps. Inuyasha dose throw some scraps at them, hoping that would keep them busy for a while. Big Guy then shows up. Big Guy is literally an overgrown warthog, even bigger then Wild, and reminds Ramesses that he has a score to settle with him. It turns out that Ramesses had 'borrowed' Big Guy's antique gold earring (a gift from the late King Abram) and sold it on the black market to pay off the mafia. Cleo bought it back, although that wasn't the reason Ramesses was exhaled. Through the Scraps Brigade, they learn that Ramesses promised some of his latest debtors the body of the late demon king to be sold on the black market.

"You did what?" Asked Willie and Inuyasha simultaneously. Big Guy then picks up Ramesses with his mouth and takes off with him.

"Should I ask if he's going to be alright?" says Inuyasha, not really caring.

"Yea;" answers Willie; "Big Guy's probably going to hang him by the tail and shove jumping beans down his throat, followed by gin, as usual, and reserves the grossest scrapes for him. Ramesses hates all that."

Inuyasha spreads the so-called frosting on the so-called cake and Willie tries to clean up a bit. A little while later, the alarm goes off. Children and animals are being dragged to the safety bunkers. Word comes that a small but powerful army is forcing their way through the gate. Myoga attempts to flee, as always, but the half-demon catches him.

"Not this time. You're staying with me you coward."

"I'm NOT a coward! I just don't think your safe to be on at the moment."

Inuyasha wraps Myoga in his robe ties and puts his hand on the Tessaiga, ready to fight.

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Cleo, Azarath, and Gowther are still at the booth while Margaret, Guila, and Jericho are exploring the market and temple when a message comes through for Azarath. The monastery in Cario has attacked, and there's a great deal of damage not just to the monastery, but to the neighborhood. There's also a number of wounded, some potentially fatal. They are asking the archbishop to return immediately.

Azarath feels torn. He doesn't want to leave his granddaughter and is longing to meet Meliodas, as well as see Scout again. However, he has a duty to the people not only under his charge, but to the people around them.

"Grandpa, go;" urges Cleo; "Take care of everybody there then come back."

"Are you sure?"

Gowther feels a mysterious presence approaching them, but it's so faint that he can barely feel it. He looks and his jaw drops. Although she's wearing different clothes, she's wearing perhaps the same dusty rose hijab and black shades, as well as being the same height and seemly the same size as the lady in pink. He's unable to read her mind at all, which is extremely unusual.

"Is it you?" asks Gowther, "The woman that gave me that note?"

"Who, Iris?" replies Cleo.

Azarath looks to see Scout standing in front of the booth. They just look at each other for several seconds. The old demon is in tears; "Iris, is that really you?"

Tear drops are soaking through her hijab. She rushes to Azarath and gives him a hug. "My dear Iris, I knew you weren't dead. I knew it."

Scout whispers a word in his ear, barely making a sound. However, Gowther makes out the word, barely. "Did she just say 'Uncle'? Is she your niece Archbishop Azarath?"

"Yes, she is."

Scout, whose real name is Iris Dawn De Santis, informs Azarath and Cleo in sign language that she feels trouble coming to both Luxor and the demon realm. Hearing that, Cleo immediately closes her booth and nods to her cousin. Just then, the demon queen feels an intense ace in her head. She can feel that her realm's in danger. A voice comes through Azarath's orb, pleading with him to return immediately as there is a huge fire spreading.

"Grandpa, go, Iris and I have this."

"They have me too, Gowther the Goat Sin of Lust. Plus, Gulia and Jericho."

Azarath's still reluctant, but knows that they can handle themselves, especially with Iris there. She nods to her uncle, and he opens a portal and goes back to just outside Cario.

Cleo, Iris, and Gowther feel the threat approaching. There's several of them and they are strong!