4 Confusing times

"Your jacket is still on your chair and I have also left my things there." Dean drew me back to him. He glided the back of his hand across my cheek, wiping away the tears.

I could not stop my tears from flowing, so it was a lost cause. "You are really confusing me," I told him. He was.

"I am?" he questioned. "Yes," I snapped.

"I want to know of your intentions, is that so strange?" Dean frowned at me, like I was the one that was crazy.

"Okay, fine," he said irritated. "Maybe you are willing to answer my other question," muttered Dean. My throat felt dry.

"Is casual sex something you normally participate in?" voiced Dean, like it was the most normal question in the world.

"Great," I shouted. "Awesome," I remarked, "You find me a whore because I spend the night with you. I will not apologize for asking if you wanted to see me again. At the time it felt like the most natural thing to do."

There was something in his eyes, which I could not decipher. More tears joined the party, and my breathing felt tight in my throat, as I tried to swallow down the tears. Note to self; never ever put yourself in this kind of situation again.

"Whatever Dean, maybe it felt very casual to you, but it felt anything but to me," I threw at him as I remembered how close we had danced, how special he had made me feel.

"Don't worry, that is my burden to bear," I declared and tried to walk away again. At lass, he grabbed my hand and pulled me back. "I won't bother you with it ever again," I told him.

"Let's just forget this ever happened," I said and I broke loose of his grip, running down the hallway.

Dean called after me, but he did not follow me. Had I wanted him to? If I was honest with myself, then yes. It was stupid, I was stupid.

Foot after foot, I dragged myself across campus and headed for the train. At least the train was already there when I walked onto the platform. I got in and took an empty seat.

It did not take long before the train started moving. I had a message from Dani, but none from him.

Dani: Where are you?

On my way home. :Melissa

Dani: that is no fun, the fraternitie is having another party tonight, in their new mansion. Are you coming back for that?

No, I do not think so. :Melissa

Dani: Why not? Your kids are away for the weekend, you can stay over at my room there if you want, or you could always stay with Dean.

She probably thought she was being funny.

I am staying home. :Melissa

Dani: If you will try to do that, I will come and get you.

I sighed. Knowing Dani, that was not a threat she would have trouble granting me.

I'll think about it. :Melissa

I hoped that would get her off my back for a while. Obviously I was not really planning on going.

I needed peace and quiet to process all that happened. Last night was… it had been a long time since I felt like that. My clothes smelled like him, and that wasn't that odd, since I had been sleeping wrapped up in him all night.

I reminisced the conversation that set off the events last evening. I had been standing in the corner of the party area. I wasn't the shy type though. I mean, I was usually outgoing and easy to talk to. But the people that lived in that house were much younger than I was.

Some were eighteen and others in their early twenties. All unbounded males, with no responsibility whatsoever.

No that wasn't it either… I could normally easily blend in.

He had noticed me standing there and came over to talk. I felt like he saw me. Not just see me, see me. But really saw me.

He had asked me questions about my drive and ambition, about who I was and what it was I wanted to accomplish in life…

I checked my phone again, he hadn't been online.

When I got home, I immediately sensed that my house was not empty. I heard the boys laugh and the TV was on. Huh?

I walked in the living room, dropping my keys on the table. Zion, who was five, ran into my arms. "Momma," said the little boy with black hair and olive tone skin. He looked just like his father.

Come to think of it. "Why are you home?" I asked him and glided my hand through his thick hair.

"Edan," I breathed as I saw my youngest of three with a face full of chocolate. "He keeps on wanting to eat chocolate on his bread," said Mason, my ex-husband, trying to explain the situation I walked in on.

Before I could turn him down, Mason pecked me on my lips. I shivered from the gesture. He was handsome. Dark hair, hazel eyes, muscular and straight white teeth.

Our marriage had not always been like this. We were once pretty much in love. Or at least, I was. The relationship did not have the best start to begin with. If I were truly honest with myself, I had run after the guy for years before he ever decided to become serious with me.

It should not had surprised me that he had also not been faithful the first two years. But of course, silly me was completely blown apart when I found out he had slept with someone else.

I believe that was the moment our relationship changed. Before, it seemed like he only had eyes for me. If a woman flirted with him, and that happened a lot, he always ignored it. Or sometimes he would discretely let them know that he was mine, by holding my hand, or kissing me.

From the moment I found out, he changed all that. He nonchalantly told me that he found certain blond TV 'stars beautiful, although I was a brunette. He engaged in conversations when it was very obvious that he was being flirted to. And blue eyes, seemed to be his thing now. Everyone with dark hair and blue eyes were beautiful to him, and he was not afraid to let me know that.

Mine were chocolate-brown, nothing special at all. He had always said that I was his type. That was a good joke alright.

"Why are you in my house Mason?", I asked him, raising an eyebrow. Mason sighed. "It is still my house as well," said Mason, trying to make a point. I crossed my arms over my chest in defense.

"We made rules about that and besides, you have your own apartment now," I reminded him. Mason took a seat at my kitchen table.

"But we are trying to work through our problems, are we not?", Mason shot back. I sighed heavily. I only agreed to that to shut him up. I had told him no, so many times, I lost track.

I opened my mouth, but then I was literally saved by the bell. I turned to the front door, unsure of who it could be.

I eyed Mason and he held up his hands in response. I did not find it beyond him to invite other people into my house as well.

I sharply blew out as I walked to the front door.

"Hi girl," said Dani. "You did not think I would leave it to chance now, would you," she said witty. I groaned.

So much for a quiet evening, I thought. "How did you get here so fast?" I asked her. Dani held out her car keys in front of me.

"Ah…" I muttered.

"Mason is in my house, with the kid,s, I said meaningfully. Dani made a face. "Why?" she questioned. I shrugged. Her guess was as good as mine.

Dani stormed into my home and flew open the living room door. "Good day Mason, and hello sweet boys," cheered Dani, like she was oblivious to it all.

"I am coming to pick mommy up sweet boys," she cooed. She took a chair across from Mason and made herself at home.

"To do what?" Mason asked like he had a right to know. When would it ever get through his thick skull that he had given up that righ,t the moment I found out he was cheating on me, again.

"There is this job market tonight, it is mostly to expand your network," she lied. "Oh, really," Mason asked directly interested. He did not want me to continue to study. He wanted me to stop studying years ago.

He had worked for the same company for ages and he was fine with that. And of course that was fine with me. I had always accepted him for who he was, but Mason did not apply that same curtesy to me. Mason wasn't too thrilled by the idea that I was ambitious.

He always wanted to tone me down. If it was up to him, I should settle and buy a house. "And after that I am buying her dinner," Dani said as she adjusted her glasses.

"Another girls night," Mason frowned. "Yeah," Dani nodded frantically. "She is sleeping over at my place," said Dani, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. It wasn't. Before we were broken-up, I'd never spend a night away from my family like this.

"Again," I added quickly. Dani looked at me and caught on. "I love having her over," remarked Dani.

"Maybe you can come help me find a decent outfit," I asked her. Without saying a word, Dani stood up and walked with me.

Zion followed us and told us about a test he had at school. He had done very well. I was so proud of that kid. After a while I send him downstairs so I could talk to Dani. I could see that she was full of burning questions.

Dani looked into my closet, "It is black tie tonight," said Dani and closed the door of my closet. "We should hurry up and go shop," she urged.

"Just pack something so that it looks like a credible story," insisted Dani. I made a clicking sound with my tongue.