Mi Yong (1)

Mi Yong sat in a bar stool with an empty glass in hand. His face was flushed red as if he had many drinks before. He ruffled at the pink of his hair, knowing that all eyes were on him, calling him 'gay' and every other judgy slur that came along with the title. 

But in truth, he didn't care. At some point he had stopped caring about everything, as he thought it pointless over his job as an idol. Friends, spending time with family, any time for self-care, even drinking. He'd dropped it all when he saw his name on the paper of the trainees who had made the debut team. He'd dropped it all when he was revealed to be the leader of ICE Entertainment's Winner. 

And never had he regretted something so much. As the bar stool's cushion had imprinted with Mi Yong's weight, he thought of Winner. He thought of their pre-debut training, how excited his members were, how young they were, and how quickly it had gone to shit.

In the 4-member group, two were minors on the verge of their 17th birthday and one had just turned 18. Mi Yong was the oldest, at 20, and therefore the leader. They were all young, minds still immature with age, and whenever a scandal came out, it was Mi Yong that was responsible. 

It was Mi Yong who got an angry phone call from their CEO, cursing him for not watching his members like hawks, 'letting' them go out and drink and smoke and date like it was written in their dreams. It was Mi Yong that apologized profusely at press conferences when their 18 year old member got exposed for being a druggie. 

He cursed at the memory, as it had eaten him alive ever since, how he let the signs slip past him, how he was as blind as a bat to the syringe scars littered on the kids skin. How he passed off the distance that the kid had created as wanting time away– as not wanting to grow tired of the members and Mi Yong. 

He couldn't do his job as leader. He couldn't protect anyone. Not the members of Winner, not Joon-woo, not even 27th. Mi Yong was the most pathetic man alive, let alone an idol. He took a swig from an empty glass and sighed, realizing it was empty. 

"Hm… What's a fine man like you doing looking so down?" A seductive voice spoke from behind. 

Mi Yong peeked his head up, his vision was blurry with alcohol but he could still make out a thin figure of a woman in a tight thigh length dress. Her lipstick was a deep red and her hair was down and bobbed against her shoulders. The woman was hot, Mi Yong looked away.

"Aww– C'mon… You seem a bit pent up." She purred, taking a seat in the stool next to Mi Yong. Her legs were slender and almost as fair-skinned as Mi Yong. 

This is what Mi Yong had thrown away in Winner, his sex life. He refused to look at women with lust because he was too busy watching out for his member's lust for women. Yeah, he'll admit it, he was sexually frustrated. 

He looked up and stared at the woman as she placed a hand on his thigh, "That's more like it, pinky…" She cooed into his ear.

–+–

Ha-rin sat on Cheerleader's dorm couch. With her shoulders slumped she watched a K-Drama that had caught her attention lately. It was the scene where the male lead confessed his love for the female lead. Ha-rin cringed. 

In the connected kitchen stood the maknae of Cheerleader, Ju Hae. She looked up from a cutting board of vegetables at the show, her teenage face chuckling at the K-Drama scene. The male lead leaned in for a kiss. She looked at Ha-rin's expression curiously. 

"Eonni, Why do you watch those shows? They're never any good." She asked, clearing the cutting board of the cut up vegetables into a small cup. She was making a salad. 

Ha-rin shrugged, "They aren't terrible." She replied, "They're cute."

"Cute?" Ju Hae asked with a stuffed face, "More like cringy…" She joked. 

Ha-rin peeked her head over the couch and looked at Ju hae with a frown, "Hae-ssi, be quiet and eat your weird cup-salad…" She scolded, looking back to the TV as the female lead fell into the male lead's arms. 

"Don't call my salad weird! It's a new diet I'm trying…" Ju Hae defended, face stuffed. 

Ha-rin raised an eyebrow, "Another new diet?"

Ju Hae pursed her lips, "I need to lose three kilos before the next comeback, trainer's words." She informed Ha-rin with a frown.

Ha-rin suddenly sat up, concerned. "You already weigh too little, are they crazy?" She bluntly replied. Ju Hae shrugged, finished her cup-salad in T five minutes. 

Ha-rin sighed, recalling their weekly weigh-in just a day before. The nutritionist expressed his concern for Ju Hae's choice of diets and as a leader, Ha-rin had kept a close eye. She had watched Ju Hae avoid cake and fried chicken. And now, looking at the small cup of food she had eaten, Ha-rin became concerned.

She pulled out her phone and looked up, 'cup diet'. 

And when she looked up to find Ju Hae, it appeared she had entered the bathroom. Ha-rin gulped as she heard gags come from said room. She looked over the description Toogle had given her. 

'In this diet, you don't count your calories, but your food in three ounce cups. They range from three to nine a day.'

Ha-rin approximated the cup size Ju Hae had eaten from and as she connected her pointer finger and thumb her breath stopped. 

Joon-woo opened his eyes and for once, his nightmare hadn't left him with a heavy breath and sweaty figure. The nightmare still haunted him, though, and his face twisted into a frown as he thought back to Ju Hae. 

She was young, debuted even younger than Ha-rin at 15. She was also the most susceptible to weekly weigh-ins, as her metabolism hadn't yet been broken by trainee life. It was Ju Hae that got scolded the most, it was Ju Hae that did the diets, and it was Ha-rin that watched. 

Ju Hae left Cheerleader in their 5th year at the age of 20 because she had lost the ability to digest food without a feeding tube. Ju Hae at 20, lived her life popping digestive pills and weak with overwork. And Ha-rin watched.

Ha-rin, the leader of Cheerleader, the 17 year old at debut that watched, had cursed at herself for being so nonchalant about Ju Hae's disordered eating. Ha-rin never called Ju Hae out, never spoke to the company about mental support, and never even brought up her concerns to the other members. In fact, Ha-rin was the worst, most pathetic leader of all time. 

Joon-woo wondered at the thought, did Mi Yong feel that way? Mi Yong was the leader of Winner, Mi Yong was two years older than the second oldest member, and according to Ryeo Hyun, he felt plenty responsible for the bruise upon Joon-woo's face. 

Joon-woo had seen the scandals. The drugs, the dating scandals of Winner. Mi Yong never had any, but Mi Yong was the one that issued apologies. Joon-woo tilted his head, maybe Ha-rin and Mi Yong were similar afterall. 

His phone buzzed upon his nightstand. Only one person ever called him, as sad as it sounded. Reggie's contact appeared on the small device and Joon-woo smiled. He answered the call.

"Good morning Reggie…" Joon-woo groggily greeted. 

"Morning? Right now it is 12, Joon-woo-ssi." Reggie informed innocently. 

Joon-woo's mouth went agape as he looked at the time on his phone in the very corner. It was 12:35. He sighed, "Oh."

"Anyways, do you want to come over to watch the first episode of Producer10?" Reggie asked, anxiously waiting for a reply, "It's okay if you don't want to–" 

"No." Joon-woo interrupted, "I do." He replied, "What's your address? I'll go."

Joon-woo could hear Reggie's smile as he listed an address. Truthfully, Joon-woo smiled a bit too.