Wound (3)

Sit at back yard terrace looks the starry night

yearning for the lost will never been come back

All is written in my fate book

Just a dagger in my chest as a mark of a dark story about us.

Shui Jing

***

That grandfather was stunned to hear what I'd said. He cannot pretend that nothing happened between us. To be honest. This is not easy for me to decide to live. I took a deep breath before looking at his violet eyes. A lot of emotions that I cannot say right now. I was stained. My pride as a princess and as a woman had been destroyed. I don't know what still remains in me except this lewd body and breath? I want to die but something forbids me to do so.

"I have to go and I want to go alone." I said while holding my tears from rolling down in my face.

That old man just looked at me blankly. Like there is something was lost inside of him. He takes a deep breath.

"Why?"

"Because I have responsibility as a princess of Eastland! I cannot ignore the fact that my people, my country and my family had been slaughtered."

The atmosphere has become so tense but I don't want to kill him. If he still wants to follow me. He just became my burden.

"Then do whatever you want." He said desperately. "I don't want to be a burden for you if you think so. What can I say?"

Then that old man left me stunned because his words pierced my heart deeply. I feel so uncomfortable after he leaves but I have to be stronger. He is just an old man. He is just a burden and he cannot help himself so what I expected from him? Nothing. I have to move forward and forget what has happened between us.

***

At dawn I am going to nowhere. I think I am going insane right now but I have to make a move. First…I have to meet my cousin, Brother Xu as soon as possible. For now…only him who can help me. I don't care even if my body is still weak and I don't know routes to arrive at Brother Xu but definitely I can find the way!

I just want Qin Qiao to die! Even if this attempt will take away my life, I just don't care. I don't have anything left.

I am walking alone in darkness and bad weather. In this state, I'll tell you that I am not afraid of anything! Even if I find wild animals or villains, but this weak body makes me have to walk slowly. I don't want to cry anymore.

Xue Chen's face still remains in my head and I will never forget how they had killed him. Qin Qiao, wait for me! On my wedding night he had killed my husband and ruined my pride as a woman. I will never forgive him!

This afternoon, I arrived in the city of Ming. This city is crowded with a lot of people. I never visited another city because my parents didn't allow me to get out of Eastland. My attention was fixed at a little girl who was crying then her mother approached her and gave her Tanghulu. As she sees it, her smiles just appear suddenly then her mother wipes away her daughter's tears. This scene makes me recall the moments when my parents were still alive, giving me something sweet to appease my anger. I know I am not a good daughter for them, even memories about them just made me guilty because I just gave them headaches all the time.

My face became wet because of the tears that were falling down. I can't hold anymore. This emotion…I miss them so much…I miss Mother… Father… and Xue Chen but I cannot express the sadness in this crowded place because a man stared at me with an awkward gaze. I cannot explain what kind of his gaze but that gaze makes me uncomfortable and I don't want to take risks so I leave this place soon.

I feel so dizzy and drowsy but I force myself to keep walking. I don't want to waste time but at one point I realized my body needs food. I have limited money so I buy two buns and eat it along the way but those buns cannot help me because right now my body is still weak and a few moments later…only darkness surrounding me...

***

I try to open my eyes but cannot because there is a blindfold on my eyes. The aroma from burning incense fulfilled my nostril. I think I am in a chamber right now. My voice cannot come out. I cannot see anything. Even though there is no rope that ties me, I cannot move. Where exactly am I? Wait…this incense aroma…is the same with incense aroma in that lewd place. I try my best to keep calm even though my fingers feel so cold like ice. I try my best to move but my body is numb like rock.

Few minutes later I hear someone get into this chamber. I can hear footsteps approaching me. I want to speak but not a single word comes out from my mouth. Even I cannot see but I can feel if there is a person who sits on this bed edge. When that person touches my skin, I know the person is a woman.

"I think I am so lucky because I can find you here." She said. Her voice makes me remember about that evil woman. She is a Qin Qiao people. "What are you doing during this time?"

"…"

"Oh…you cannot say anything, right?" She said. Her fingertips explore cheeks. Her touch just made me nauseated by disgust. "But you don't need to worry because I will give the best for you. Just considered as compensate your wedding night had ruined"

"…"

I think this woman is totally insane. Why does she have to interfere with my wedding night! Oh I forget! She is Qin Qiao's dog! I will make sure someday this woman must pay what she has done to me!

"But...before that, I want to make sure that old man has not touched you yet because Prince wants you."

What?! She mentioned Qin Qiao?! Even though I am nervous right now, I have to keep calm. I take a deep breath while hearing her words.

"Do you know that I am so curious why the Prince wants you the most? A lot of girls want to serve him but he ignored them all but about you…" She is laughing. I don't understand why she is laughing because I think it's not funny. "In his mind there is only you!"

Don't tell me…this woman is jealous. This time I know if jealous women are more dangerous than wild animals.