Chapter 4

"Avast, mateys! 'tis a fair wind, and clear sailing ahead!" Lee shouted, from the crow's nest, one hand raised high in the sky. "And it is time for the tried and true tradition of all seafaring crews, from the most hypocritical marine, to the most bitter and salty seadog these fair blue seas have ever seen!"

On the main deck, his audience was captive, on the basis that it was his ship, they were his crew, and they were in the middle of the sea, there really was no place for them to go to, as he regaled them with a confident grin before bringing a hand to his face and clearing his throat. "Now, everybody, we are pirates, so what do we do?"

There was a moment of silence, and it seemed like most eyes were focused on Kuina and Sura, the two least experienced members of the crew. Kuina scratched her cheek in confusion. "Kill time until something interesting happens? Search for buried treasure? Fight Marines?"

Sura blinked. "Transport cargo, raid merchant ships, and make nuisances of ourselves?" he added.

"YOU FOOLS!" shouted Lee from on high, raising both hands to the sky. "DO WHAT YOU WANT, 'CUZ A PIRATE IS FREE!"

"Yar har fiddle'dee'dee!" joined Anne & Mary, "being a pirate is alright to be~!"

"Do what you want 'cuz a pirate is free," Drake joined, throwing a hand over Kuina's shoulder, then another over Sura, pressing them to her sides, and made them look up at Lee, who pointed a finger down at them.

"You are a pirate!" he shouted, jumping down to the main deck.

"I've been waiting for an excuse to sing a sea shanty for months, MONTHS! I will not be denied!" Lee shouted.

"It's tradition!" agreed Anne.

Drake laughed.

"I should have included singing lessons, in hindsight, in his training," Cologne remarked.

"Why are we even partying though?" Kuina asked.

"Why would we NOT party? We're pirates, we do what we want! I'll go to bed whenever I want to and nobody can tell me what to do!" Lee shouted, pointing a finger at the sky, "I'm as free as the waves!"

"Stop screaming like a lunatic and join us in revelry already, Husband," Cologne said, with a smile on her face, offering her hand.

"Yes, dear!"

Laughter followed the ironic byplay.

"Somehow I am beginning to regret coming with you on this trip," Kuina said, glaring flatly at Lee, who was having entirely too much fun, as he was joined by Anne, Mary and Drake in a song and dance number that was growing increasingly grand.

"That looks fun," Sura said, but then before he could even think, Mary passed by him and grabbed him by the wrist. "H-Heeey! WAAAIT!"

Kuina winced, as the small, feminine boy was made to join the number, though before she could pity him too much, Anne grabbed Kuina's own wrist and dragged her along.

Before long, the entirety of the crew began partaking in the song and dance number, right up until someone remembered that nobody was steering the ship, which provided Kuina an excuse to beg off, though by the fourth hour of partying, and the inclusion of booze, food and fireworks, she wondered if perhaps she had not made a mistake in designating herself helmsman for the party.

Most of the crew would make noises that if you sort of relaxed and let your mind go might even be representative of something that might have once been music, while two would take up the duty to dance.

Alas, she would watch the party without the ability to take part in it, watching each of the ones involved trade partners, and dance with each other, from the impossibly graceful and skilled movements of Cologne's dance, flitting about, clearly taking the lead with each of her partners, to the wilder, more energetic style that Anne and Mary danced in, which got to the point of being outright lewd, and ultimately, the strangely perfect example of ballroom dancing provided by Drake, who successfully led a complete novice like Sura through an all new, fairly complex dance, without even a single missed step, much to the applause of everyone involved.

Considering the amount of alcohol involved, it was honestly a shock that anyone could even remain on their feet, and that included those who'd only been drinking water.

Dancing and singing in joyful merrymaking was not a completely new experience for anyone there, but Sura had almost exclusively seen such parties from afar while working.

"So this is your first?" Lee asked, as the group took a break from singing and dancing, all of them sitting around a blanket with snacks, booze and some drinking water, placing an one armed hug on Sura's shoulder and pulling the small boy against him, "you've got some moves if I do say so myself!" he said, cackling.

"More flexible than some girls I've been with," Mary said, saucily, chomping the end off of a bread stick, after suggestively licking it and sticking it into her mouth, sitting cross legged in such a way that made it obvious that she was wearing nothing underneath her white leotard.

"Haaah, if I tried to do the splits like that I think I'd pull a muscle!" Anne agreed, giggling and swaying a little before downing more mead, a satisfied little moan coming out of her mouth, face flushing, chest heaving wildly as she moved about.

Sura was bright red faced as he looked at the two strikingly beautiful pirate women, the Caribbean love birds obviously caring little about their potent sexual appeal filtering through.

"Get a good eyeful there!" Lee said, patting Sura's shoulder. "Don't worry, they won't mind!" he said, barking out a laugh. "And you'll be the envy of men everywhere!"

"That's right you little cutie," Anne said with a wink, causing Sura to get as hot as a nuclear reactor, and redder than anything else. She giggled heartily, which caused her chest to do extremely eyecatching things.

The young lad averted his eyes once more, however they landed on something just as dangerous to look at.

With boisterous laughter of her own, Drake slammed her flagon down, something she'd apparently stole from the outpost they'd been at without even noticing, it even still had the logo of the bar she stole it from. She proceeded to grab at her heavy coat and then throw it away, leaving only a sleeveless shirt that exposed her almost humorously humongous, perky tits.

Sura once more averted his eyes, but even then it did no good, because as it turned out, he turned his face to Mary, who had also discarded everything but the lowermost layer of clothing on her, and it had slipped off a little, revealing one of her breasts, small as it was, with its adorable pink nipple poking out.

Panicking, Sura scrambled to his feet as if to run away, but all he managed was to crash into Cologne, planting his face directly into her chest.

"Somehow," Cologne said, "I expected you to be the one doing this, Husband," she said, glaring at Lee.

"He's cute so I'll allow it," Lee said, waving his hand.

"I think my head's gonna melt!" Sura said, taking a few steps back, swaying a bit.

Lee laughed. "Just chill, chill, they're your crew now, you should get used to that," Lee said, "here," he added, passing him a glass of water, "drink something before you pass out from heatstroke!"

The others laughed as Sura accepted the glass and sat back down, eyes focusing on the blanket.

"If everyone's doing it," Lee added, "I might as well," he said, taking off his vest and throwing it away. "Whoa, that feels a lot better. Never thought the salty breeze of the sea would feel good on my skin but damn is it hot today!"

"Whyyyy..!" Sura mewled, burying his face in his hands, once more averting his gaze, this time giving up on finding anything to look at that wasn't a little too overstimulating. "I like girls… I'm supposed to like girls..!" he repeated to himself.

"You're damn right!" Drake shouted. "Oiii! Lass, just make sure we're pointed in the right direction and come down to join us already!" she continued.

"I'm just fine," Kuina replied with a shout of her own, "just have fun and don't drink so much that you forget how to swim!"

"Eh, she'll join when she's bored," Drake said. "So anyway- as I was saying, there I was, stuck to Lizzy due to all the glue, and naked from the waist down. You would not believe how cold it gets up north," she explained, "my nipples could've cut glass!"

Chuckles from the circle of pirates followed.

"Luckily I've still got a loaded gun, and one of my fingers still works well enough to reach the trigger, so we do the three legged walk all the way to the window overlooking the execution site, and just as I'm about to shoot, the executioner fumbles, the axe flies out of his hands, and gets our target right in the middle of the face."

Wincing followed.

"You would not believe the disappointment we were feeling when we realized that due to his death being both very public and very obviously not our fault, there was absolutely no way that our client was going to pay for all our hard work," she said. "So we had to rescue the mission somehow, and we're thinking, we've gotta save his life now. He's breathing, we can see he's still breathing, otherwise he couldn't scream right? So we do a 180, and suddenly, we're trying to save the life of the guy we were supposed to kill, and even worse, my nose's starting to itch…"

A tale of nonsensical piratery and shenaniganery like few had ever experienced, yet told with the certainty and truthfulness of someone who hadn't just lived through it, but remembered it like it was yesterday.

"Wait, is that even physically possible?"

And at some point, Kuina had joined the party, no longer able to just sit back especially as more alcohol, snacks and good tales flew.

"Not for the faint of heart," Cologne said, sipping from a cup of tea that had more than a share of rum dissolved in it. She raised two fingers, and their tips glowed before she began to wiggle them like they were noodles. It was actually a rather disturbing sight. "With enough practice you can do this with your entire body. It makes your blood flow really poor, so you need a very strong heart."

"Oh I thought you meant, no, nevermind…" Sura said, shaking a little. "That's creepy," he said.

Lee chuckled. "Not the best use of my fingers she's taught me!" he said, wagging his eyebrows.

"Nor have I taught you all that you can do with your fingers," Cologne said.

Kuina and Sura blushed, but Anne and Mary laughed, leaning against each other. "We can think of a few ways~!"

"You're all perverts..!" Kuina huffed.

"Guilty as charged!" Anne and Mary replied, then both of them seemed to have the same idea at the same time, causing a humorous fumble as the two tried to take the lead in kissing their partner, smashing their foreheads against one another, crying out in pain and rubbing at the bump.

Laughter followed as they both whined, then proceeded to 'kiss the booboo', so to speak, Mary throwing herself on top of Anne.

Now used to the lovebirds' antics, most of the rest of the crew ignored them as they did so.

"Whaaa, wawa- they're- that's so leeewd!" Sura cried.

Most of the crew.

Since it was starting to fall apart, and the sun was setting, it was time to wrap it up. "Oh, yeah, I should take you to a room you can use," Lee said. "I would ask Anne or Mary to do it, but-"

The sounds of heavy making out came from the rolling duo.

Kuina snorted. "I wouldn't trust them to keep their hands to themselves if you did," she said.

"But… they like girls and I'm a boy," Sura said, blinking in confusion, face still red.

Kuina laughed.

"What's so funny?"

Drake chuckled as well. "I'll take over," she said, looking at Kuina, "I need to clear my head anyway."

"Drunk sailing, I'm sure that's gonna turn out just fine," Lee snarked.

"Hells yeah it will, I'll have you know!" Drake barked back, jumping to her feet.

Kuina nodded. "I really want to actually get some practice swings with my new weapons, if I'm gonna use disposable swords I wanna be sure I'm not a danger to everyone around me. So-"

"Steer clear," Cologne said, looking specifically at Sura, who gulped and nodded. Seemed that he understood the risks involved.

Lee groaned and stretched, standing up himself. "It's been a ridiculously long day for some reason," he said, "I feel like it's been months since we set out," he said with a grin.

"That's the excitement for you," Cologne said. "When changes come quickly, it can make even a short day feel like an eternity. You're still not getting out of training."

"Yeah, yeah, ball and chain amazon wife I get it," Lee said.

"Irreverent as ever," Cologne said, "but I suppose that's part of your charm," she said, rolling her eyes. "Don't dawdle."

"Come on," Lee said, tapping Sura's shoulder. "Follow me, I'll take you to a room you can use."

The boy nodded, and though he stumbled and nearly faceplanted, he got up on his feet, and followed Lee to the entrance to the lower decks, both of them walking slowly and giving their eyes time to adjust to the penumbra. Even if night was settling, the ship's artificial lighting was still not as bright as the fading sun.

"Uhm… sir, you are the captain, right?" Sura asked.

Lee hummed. "Yeah," he said.

Sura frowned. "Wow, you must really be someone special," he said, though it didn't seem like he was very convinced of this.

"Something on your mind?" Lee asked, as he guided Sura to the crew quarters.

"I- no, it's nothing," he said.

"Spill it, orders from your captain," Lee said with a serious expression on his face.

"It's just – it doesn't feel real. Up until recently- I was, well," he looked down, running hands down the stained shirt and shorts he was wearing. The dress he'd been forced into for a while had been deemed too precious to risk it with all the food and booze being consumed, and Sura had been nothing but grateful for that. "It almost feels like if I go to sleep I'll wake up being screamed at back there."

Lee snorted. "You'll wake up to screams, but lucky you, we bought earplugs," he said, grinning. "Just make sure to put them on if you notice someone going into my room at night."

"E-Ehhh?" Sura seemed confused. "You mean… with the crew? But, but- The blue haired woman, Cologne you said? She called you husband right?"

Lee snorted. "She's a weird one," he said. "Has a different idea of what it means to be a husband than you or I do, probably," he explained.

Sura nodded, but from his face, it was obvious that he didn't really get it, his soft, cute features marred by confusion.

By then, however, they were at the door of one of the empty rooms. Lee opened it and revealed a mostly set up, if a bit Spartan and naked, bedroom. He blinked. "Right, so there's sheets in that wardrobe," he said, pointing at it, "and a pillow somewhere in there as well. We don't have a curfew but try not to make noise if it's dark outside, at least not down here. Walls are thick, but they're not THAT thick."

Thicker around the captain's quarters, for sure.

"Ah- okay, but- but isn't this room a bit too nice?" Sura asked. "I'm used to sleeping in the hold, so if-"

Lee shook his head. "You're in the crew now," he said, slapping Sura's back, causing him to stumble in. "If we're ever pressed for space we might discuss something, but even then it's probably gonna be bunk beds."

Sura nodded.

"You really don't have much to store huh?" Lee asked, as Sura raised a bag with a bunch of stuff. Almost all of which was brand new, bought before leaving port. "Convenient when you're moving, but that's fine, you'll get a salary now."

Hopefully, anyway… a lot of work would go into having enough money to actually pay a salary on time and regularly. Reserves were one thing, but the Strawhats always made it look way easier than it actually was. Even accounting for Cologne taking on the more complicated and annoying aspects of accountancy.

Sura frowned as he opened the bag and revealed that most of what he owned was brand new girls' clothes, with the occasional gender neutral. "I don't want to sound ungrateful since you guys did buy me a bunch of stuff, but did it have to be girls' clothing?" he asked, grabbing at a some of it and starting to separate it into piles, first a couple of blouses, some shorts and skirts, two dresses, and most important of all…

The young lad picked up a pair of underwear. Frilly, soft and cute, in a very light cyan tone. Despite their size, they were absolutely not designed for little girls, with their eyecatching design and the fact that they were sheer everywhere but a small portion at the front.

Lee did some mental artistry in his head, and figured that if Sura put them on, most likely the only part they'd actually cover properly was the family jewels so to speak. That was a nice mental image, for sure. Lee patted his head as he looked at the panties dubiously, he seemed a bit worried as he stretched the panties and looked at them.

If he had to guess, the boy was a little more interested than he wanted to admit to, maybe even to himself, in that pair of panties.

"What's the matter?" Lee asked.

"I- I'm a boy," Sura said, simply. "Boys don't wear panties," he said.

Lee snorted. "Clothes are clothes. If you look good in them, and trust me, you absolutely will, what's the matter?" he asked. "Just dress comfortable, dress cute, cool, badass, whatever, as long as you're okay with it."

Sura slumped a little. "I- I've tried to work out you know, but I'm short, I can't put on muscle for some reason, and my hair grows fast," he said, running a hand through his hair, of a color similar to the panties he still held in his other hand. "I'm aware, alright, I know I sort of look like a girl…" he muttered. "I just- it's… it's never been a good thing…"

Lee nodded. "I know how that feels. I lived most of my life with a woman who's a lot manlier than I am," Lee explained. "Drake might look like an extraordinarily sexy babe, but she's got balls of steel," he added.

Sura nodded. Then he stopped. "Captain, are you just giving me a pep talk because you think it's funny to put me in a dress?" he asked, staring flatly at Lee.

"I think you'd look cute in a dress," Lee said, simply, shrugging. "Also, check your wardrobe. If I know my crew, and I do… you might be happier than you think checking in there. Just think about it."

Letting the panties go, Sura nodded. "Right… Captain… do YOU want me to dress like that?" he asked.

Lee hummed. "I want you to be comfortable in your own skin first and foremost," he said. "I'm all for dressing up for a partner, but I want to make this clear from the word go," he said.

Sura nodded.

"Fuck that shit," Lee said, a scowl on his face. "If anybody tells you how to dress, how to act, how to speak, you tell those people to go shove the main mast up their own ass," he said, pointing at Sura's face, the effeminate boy gulping. "If you need help, me or any of the others will help you, because you're one of us now," he said, giving the boy a grin. "We're here because we all love our freedom, because we all have our own goals."

Sura looked aside. "Like forming a harem?" he asked.

"Hell yeah," Lee said. "I want the greatest harem this world has ever seen!" he shouted. "But that's what I want," he explained. "I want to have fun with sexy women and cute boys, I want to reach the very ends of the world, I want to see the greatest, most beautiful sights in the world, I want to conquer the ends of the ocean and I want to be the greatest badass the world has ever seen!" Lee shouted, clenching his fist, "but… what do YOU want, Sura? Who do you want to be, in the end?"

The boy blinked, as Lee placed a hand on his shoulder, looking up at his captain, eyes wide. "I- I've never… I guess I've never really thought about what I want to do, who I want to be," he admitted.

Lee smiled, more soft now. "Well, good news! I'm told that journeying out to sea with your pals and experiencing the world is one of the best ways to find out, and especially when you're among people who won't judge you unfairly," he said, nodding, and then retracting his hand.

"Do… do you think I'm cute?" Sura asked. "Cute enough… cute enough to-"

Lee patted his head. "You're going to have to decide that for yourself. Don't let anyone else make that choice for you," he said, closing his eyes. "It doesn't matter how good the outside looks if the inside's a mess."

Sura nodded. "So-"

"I'll let you think on that," Lee said, "and as for me... Well, it was nice knowing you," he said, "if we never meet again, remember me as a man who went to face his fate with a smile on his face."

"You're not smiling though," Sura replied.

"I said to remember me like that!" Lee said, turning around and beginning to head back to the upper deck, then he turned back and looked at Sura over his shoulder. "Pray that my wife doesn't decide that I've outlived my usefulness! Cheer for me!"

Sura laughed. "Ah, okay! Do your best!"

Leaving the young boy behind in his room, to deal with his business and get settled, Lee went back out into the open to face his fate, catching a flying iron fragment the moment he stepped out of the door that separated his ship's insides from the deck.

"You could've poked one of my eyes out!" he barked, holding the broken tip of Kuina's sword. One of the crap tier ones. "Actually, nevermind, this is so dull I would be shocked if it could actually cut my eye."

"I know right? It's perfect," Kuina said, giving a thumbs up. "If I can manage to cut this," she pointed the broken, tipless sword, at an iron bar, which was held in place with a stand that might've once been part of a lamp. "with this piece of garbage then imagine what I can do with a decent weapon in my hands!"

"Just be sure that you cut the rod, and not the ship underneath it," Lee said.

Unprompted, a half remembered, half-forgotten image of Hawk-Eye cutting a ship in half with just the wind pressure from his slash flashed through Lee's mind. He remembered that Kuina was, before her death, a better swordsman than Zoro was, and with any luck, would grow to truly make use of her immense potential this time around.

"I wouldn't be that careless!" Kuina protested.

"It's all fun and games until we're swimming for our lives and you owe me a ship!" Lee barked.

"If the two of you have enough energy to talk, then you have enough energy to fight," Cologne barked. "Now… I suppose we've worked on your speed long enough. For now, I believe that the two of you are sorely lacking in methods to deal with opponents at range. Fortunately for you, blasts of energy are limited more by power than by skill. I don't believe either of you has the temperament for the Lion's Roar, but I'm certain I can think of something…"

Once more, as per usual, the young duo was set in front of their now shared teacher, as they prepared to be put through their paces.

It would quickly become increasingly obvious that they were not, in fact, prepared for what Cologne 'thought of' when it came to ranged combat capabilities…

Unfortunately, they would not have enough time to master Cologne's lessons, because when they were about to have their second session early in the next day's morning, they found that they were closer to their destination than they expected.

"Say, is it normal for a restaurant ship to be on fire?" Mary shouted from the crow's nest. "Because it's on fire," she said, collapsing the glass she was using to look into the distance.

"Everybody, let's make a grand entrance!" Lee called, and as per the captain's orders, everyone got moving.

It was time to make a splash!