CHAPTER 18

Kate fell asleep after crying for so long. It was already evening and she hasn't opened the letter yet. When she woke up, Her gaze was stuck on the letter and stared at it again for minutes. She took it, pressed it on her chest, and started to have teary-eyes once more. She doesn't have the strength to open the letter. She doesn't want that she would read a goodbye letter from Jeremy. She could not accept it. Then, she realized that nothing would change if she would read it. She slowly opened it and read it while sitting on her bed.

Kate,

If you are reading this, then it means I wasn't able to talk with you before I leave. I beg your forgiveness that I couldn't say this to you personally. I know that hiding things from you is unforgivable and no reason is acceptable. I wanted to tell it to you several times but fear forced me not to. I was afraid that you might not accept who I am going to be in the future. I told myself that if ever we are going to share our lives together then I would let you share my life from the moment I was born until now and not who I might be in the future. The Jeremy you knew is the Jeremy I am from top to bottom. You may find it untrusting but what I have shown you is who I am.

I am thankful that even for a while you brought back the light to the meaning of my love. You taught me that love is union under the condition of preserving my integrity, my individuality. Love is my active power, a power that breaks through the walls, which separates me from you, which unites me with you; love makes me overcome the sense of isolation and separateness of this situation. My love for you is love to death.

When you loved me, I experienced a feeling of joy coupled with a sense of security from everyone around me. The feeling of my joy is my sense of being valuable, of being accepted and consented to. I no longer feel pressured of what I will become and the anxiety of trying to be someone else. I experienced an exhilarating sense of freedom. At the same time I felt secure, secure because you participate in my subjectivity such that I no longer walk alone in the world but that I walk together with you.

Ironically, I have to leave to accept the responsibility that I have to become. I feel guilty about not able to ask for your forgiveness or to explain everything to you personally. Yet, I believe that time will come when our roads will cross path once more. When our time and journey would soon find their own way and build a bridge to narrow our gaps.

I'm assured that even we will part ways now, someday; we will be united by destiny. Remember the night before we left Monaco Suite, I told you that destiny is neither accidents nor luck. It is about building the path that we wanted to walk unto.

Right now, we will be apart. It will be hard. It will be difficult but someday, I will make sure that I will build that path for us to cross again. For now, always remember that I would always be here next to you. I may not be present with you but my love will.

Of course, I only wish you one thing. That is, for you to be successful. I hope that maybe a year from now, I would see you march on stage with a smile as you fulfill the dreams of your parents.

Kate, thank you for coming into my life and allowing me to experience joy. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever. But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can be assured of our bright future. My heart will always be yours whether it is an ordinary heart or royal heart. My heart is just for you no matter what happens, no matter how long it would take, and no matter how many crowns it wears. Destiny. Destiny. Our Destiny.

I love you,

Jeremy

Kate just cried holding the letter. Her melancholic crying reached the ears of those at the ground floor. Mrs. Reed worriedly came in and hugged her tight. She tried to comfort her. She knew that Kate is in great pain. She knew that she loved Jeremy so much that her opportunity was wasted. However, she reminded her that love never ceases. She reminded her that someday, their love would find their way back with each other.