New Life and Magic

"So after I suppressed it all down I died again? Why? And why did Bai Gujing come out and then disappear?"

[User did not die. The Host and User are in an unstable state. User and Host have begun the process of merging. Host's death was put at a standstill during your arrival. Once Host's mana was suppressed, Host's soul would dissipate.]

A cold shiver ran down her spine. She'd wanted to reduce her chance of dying. Instead, she ran right into it. Not only that, but she killed someone else. Having known the fear of death crashing down on her, and knowing she'd done such a frightening thing to someone else made her feel like a monster. She was no better than those beasts out there. No, she was worse. Because simply killing humans isn't part of her nature; she went out of her way to do it.

Valnr had never felt so vulnerable. She wrapped her arms around her and shuffled back into the bed. She didn't even check the other door. She hid under the covers, trying to retreat from the world. If she could be cut off from everything just like this--how great would that be.

System thoughtfully lowered its voice to not startle the scared child.

[Once the energy was suppressed--to allow the host's soul's release--both Host and User ceased being two separate beings, and Host and User became a single being. It is simultaneously considered ending two and restarting one. A death that begins a new life.]

The system had a way of making it sound magical. Valnr suddenly felt like she'd produced a miracle instead of destroying a life with her own hands. There was a feeling in her human consciousness that felt similar. "Like… having a baby?" her black eyes hesitantly peeked out from under the blanket. There was a painting on the wall of a beautiful woman. She looked at it as if it were the system.

The system did not give a direct response.

[Host has already learned everything that has happened and has accepted it. Host is looking forward to the completion of the merge with User.]

Hearing that she couldn't help the smidge of anticipation that rose in her chest. "He is?" she giggled. This was human nature. When someone they had good feelings about said they wanted to get closer to you, they would naturally begin looking forward to it.

She paused, "How does he know? Did you tell him, too?"

[User's consciousness has awoken this morning because Host gave himself over to the merge last night. Host is already a part of User. Once User accepts it, Host and User will become one.]

"What? What would have happened to him if I didn't agree? Then wouldn't he just…" The system didn't respond. Nor was Valnr looking for a response. She already had an inkling. Given the memories she had already gained, it wasn't too hard to guess.

He was like she had been during her first life here. She no longer wanted to be what she had become. Like her, Bai Gujing also couldn't stand where he was. It was more difficult to continue as-is than to just… give it all up. It didn't feel worth it to do so. Even now, as she was so frightened of death, she could still understand the feelings behind it. Rather, because she had made a similar attempt her understanding is deeper than if she'd simply just seen his memories. She had been trying to regain her old life, Bai Gujing was trying to create a new life.

"How- how do I agree? How do I merge with him?" her voice was slightly listless.

[The merge has already begun.]

"Okay, so how do I do it properly? Go to sleep or something? I have to receive all his memories, right? That's how it always happened with the energy suppression."

[Negative. Host's memories cannot be transferred.]

"But what about before?"

[Mana reproduces the mana user's memories as a consequence of altering the soul.]

Valnr sighed and sunk deeper into the bed, "And because our mana and energy are merging now, there isn't mana left to get memories from." She summarized, "The memories from before were just a fluke."

She didn't receive a response, but she didn't need one. The silence was confirmation.

It wasn't as if she hadn't noticed. She had changed. She felt like she was deep behind enemy lines. She could be. Maybe crossers and the facility were her enemies now because they doubted her. The Akashic Records showed her the image of Mr. Jaquline and the others meeting. Even outside of the facility, they had her under lock and key. They may even have a camera watching her at this very moment. At that thought, Vanlr sent out a wave of energy and mana to check the room. When her intentions have portrayed a jaw-dropping sight filled her view.

The energy and mana she sent out, which were now inseparable, turned into tiny life forms. It looked like pieces of jelly floating around in the air. They slowly flew out from here and clung to the first thing they touched. Some fell on the bed, others on the floor, the walls, or the ceiling. The jellies squirmed and slid around as if gravity did not exist. They even moved towards her. Until they had touched everything, even the boy stiff as a board on the bed, they did not disappear. Once they'd touched everything there was to be touched, they dissipated as if they'd never existed, to begin with. Even the blankets, inside the drawers, and mouse cracks were not spared. Since they had no substance they were not barred by tiny places.

They'd confirmed there were no cameras. After their purpose was finished, they disappeared. In shock, she tried to sense them around her.

She could feel the mana in the air pressing into her skin. It felt like a disgusting ooze. Even though it was unseen, Valnr had the image of muddy tar trying to drown her in an infinite pit. She didn't even know mana outside the body could be sensed, let alone feel it against one's skin.

She shivered. No matter how weird her new energy was, it was undoubtedly a million times more bearable than this feeling. She began thinking up new magic. It had to be long-term, block mana, be unnoticeable to others, and only block mana without blocking out everything else. It had to be able to let through her clothes and other things. Otherwise, she may end up with a centimeter of air between her and her clothes. If she were to hold something in her hand it would look like it was hovering.

However, if all of her magic ended up coming to life then did that mean she would have some kind of creature against her skin at all times? She had to rethink her idea. The magic didn't need to be long-term. After she figured out more about her new ability she could change it. It just needed to keep the mana away from her for now.

She suddenly felt as if she'd had an epiphany. She just needed something around her core. It needed to repulse all that disgusting mana. It would not affect her own body at all. She wondered if this loose idea would be able to create capable magic, but when she thought of how vague an image she had for checking for cameras she quickly tossed this motion away.

Energy came from her soul, anyway. The reason it was so easy to handle was that it knew better than she did what she wanted. It was a part of her that could access her subconscious to understand her intentions. Most of the training for energy is in seeing how pieces of the world interact with one another. It would be more difficult to make a fire in a wet environment than to make ice in the same environment. Therefore the necessary energy needed would be higher. That is why imagery and control are so important.

If they give the order and do not have enough energy, they will be drained of energy from the useless attempt. Although energy would not use up itself in its entirety for this. There is always a limit. However, it is no different than making your enemies a meal with you on the plate.

Valnr closed her eyes and sent the order.