chapter 15

I was seated opposite my therapist who for some reason had decided that the session would be held in her office.

She was practicing the no. 1 rule of intimidation.

'let them meet you in your territory '

Unfortunately, it was working. I was a nervous wreck.

I wasn't afraid or anything, I was just very nervous.

Her walls were plain white just like every single room in the hospital only that while the walls were boring and dull, her walls seemed to shimmer and shine.

It was mostly just a product of my imagination.

She beamed at me whilst holding a piece of paper and a pen.

it felt like she was studying me.

I was inclined to block my thoughts from wandering. She always made me feel like she could see my thoughts even when I was very sure it was impossible.

I calmed my fast beating heart and projected feelings of confidence and self respect into my environment.

I was painting myself as the person I'd always wanted to be. Outgoing, optimistic, excited and beautiful inside out.

I almost started to believe that I was that person but she wasn't me.

"What would you like to do today?" She asked

Her question caught me off guard and almost snatched awaythe perfect painting I was working on.

I didn't know if she was asking about the therapy or if she meant something else.

Why would she ask me that?

What kind of answer was I supposed to give?

I made my own conclusions and answered.

"I don't anything about that, I've never been to a therapy session"

She appeared startled

Her smile was gone.

"That's not what I meant" she said

"What do you mean? I asked

She sighed and seemed to be internally rolling her eyes..

I had expected her to be mature.

" I meant, what do you, as a living breathing person want to do? "She asked.

Why did she want to know?

Was that a part of therapy?

Was she low-key spying on me?

I was just being paranoid.

I could just say anything anyway so I said the last thing I would ever want.

"I want my mate back"

My voice was completely devoid of emotion.

I genuinely did not want anything to do with that creature even though a part of me missed him continually.

I was overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness and yearning.

Though I would admit I missed him just a bit, those feelings were definitely not from me. They were definitely from my wolf.

I was over wanting him back, only my wolf still wanted him to return.

"You know better than anyone that you want him back because he's your mate and you love him" my wolf said.

The audacity!

I felt something cold and liquid falling down my cheeks

Wait a minute?

Was I crying?

I touched my cheeks and felt the tears falling unhinged.

Nope, not my tears, I'd shed enough for the ******* already.

"Are you crying?" my therapist asked

"Of course not"

I wiped away the tears from my eyes struggling to act like it was just an ordinary day and putting on my calmest smile.

"Both those are tears on your face" she pointed out in confusion

" Oh these, they're not mine, they're my wolf's " I said feeling every bit like a liar.

But it was true, those weren't my tears at all.

"Oh I get it" she said .

The look of confusion was still on her face.

I was trying so hard to keep up the calm facade I forgot how little trust I had in her.

"Would you like to talk about it?" she asked

Her voice was smooth and comforting pulling down my walls of defense.

Before I could catch myself, I had already agreed.

I spoke to her about everything.

I gave out more information than I had originally planned to but the more I spoke to her, the more unburdened I felt. And so I kept speakings, loving the way my heart felt light and at peace in my chest.

By the time I was done telling her a part of the story, I realized how much I and not my wolf missed and yearned for him. I wanted him.

I was forced to face the truth after being in denial. I had thought that if I forced myself to hate him, I'll be able to forget and move on.

However, that wasn't the case.

I was in love with Trey and I could feel him through our bond if I tried.

I could feel his presence if I focused on the bond for a while. I had tried ignoring it and so blinded myself to the beauty of feeling truly connected with someone even if that someone had left me to my devices without giving me a heads up.

I would probably never be able to forgive him and I knew I'd never forget.

There was no way forward for me and yet, I felt liberated.

In admitting all these to myself I had started to feel and understand my emotions better.

I was aware of the possibility that we would never cross paths again. I would let him go for it gave me peace. I would try to forgive him, I'd try to forget, I'd try to move on but I'll forever love him.

It was Selene's curse, the mate bond.

It connected us to our other halfs crippling us without them. I couldn't change it or fight it. I could only accept it.

Maybe it was my destiny or my fate or just the wiles of the moon goddess but whatever it was, I genuinely hated it.

But I couldn't help feeling grateful for the chance to have met him and to have been with him though it was only once. Don't get me wrong, I had regrets, if I could change some things about that night, I would. However, I couldn't and I had to live with it.

I wondered if I'd eventually find closure if I let myself feel that bond

I continued seeing my therapist everyday for the next two weeks that followed. I hadn't seen any of my family or friends but my hope was strong. I would see them soon. When was soon? I had no idea.

My baby was growing rapidly as predicted by my first gynecologist but it would be at least 3 weeks before I saw my baby, before I held him in my arms, before I saw the life we created.

He was an active baby, almost overactive, kicking frequently.

As the days passed by, I started eating a lot more than before. I had no weird, creepy cravings but I ate roughly twice what I used to before.

Dr Wu did it was because of how quickly he was growing in comparison with the average werewolf foetus.

I couldn't help being proud of my child and spoke to him every single day.

Therapy had forced me into confronting a lot. A lot of good, bad, ugly and scars. I was slowly starting to heal.

I didn't know the extent of my hurt prior to therapy but as my sessions progressed, I started to see the repercussions of holding in pain, bitterness and even anger.

I had been hurting myself.

I learnt to let go, to accept and to fight and for that, those two weeks were permanently etched into my mind.

........

I woke up to a bright sunny, morning feeling refreshed. I felt whole, happy and rejuvenated. My sleeping time had increased by a few hours.

I was just about to get up from the bed when two men dressed in the uniform of park guards barged in.

"Who the hell are you" I asked in alarm

Their faces were hard, hostile, unfamiliar and they ignored my question.

Mary, as I had been told continuously to call her, barged in right after them.

"Stop what you're doing right now" she yelled

I had never seen her look that angry. She glared at the two of them with her piercing eyes.

" You have no say in this matter" one of the guards said coming close to me.

What in the world were they talking about?

"I'm sure you weren't aware but she is my patient by order of the alpha" she said.

Her voice had an edge to it. Was she nervous?

Wait, she was asked to be my therapist by the alpha?

what in the world was going on?

"She looks fine to me." The one who was walking towards me said.

The other one stood still watching me with malicious eyes.

It brought back unwanted memories. I felt cornered, trapped and the next thing I knew, a porcelain decoration was flying towards the one walking towards me.

It missed him by a hairs breadth.

Who threw it?

I looked at them only to realize they were all staring at me.

Oh s***. It couldn't be me.

It wasn't me, I couldn't do that.

A small voice in my head reminded me that I couldn't fly but yet I had floated and fought my way out of danger.

They all looked at me with suspicion excluding Mary. I had told her all about my flying escapades and the incident.

"Funny story, the alpha also sent us here to fetch her. She is to be presented before the council" the one who had been standing still said glaring at Mary.

What council were they talking about? Why was I being presented?

The man that had been walking towards me finally reached me and grabbed me by my arm pulling me to my feet.

I struggled to free myself from his grip but it was futile.

"Leon, help me here would you" he asked.

The other one took quick steps towards e and grabbed my other arm.

Together they half dragged, half hoisted me out of the room.

"I don't believe that" Mary said suspiciously glaring at them

She was blocking the door with her body.

I was disoriented and in a state of utter confusion.

They pushed her aside, not sparing her a glance as they dragged me out.

"I'm so sorry" she said "I had no idea this would happen"

Her eyes was beginning to water.

Why in the world was she crying, I was the one being dragged to an unknown place.

"What do you mean" I asked

I had no idea then that it would be the last time I would ever see her.