1 1: Goodbye Noah Matthews

I was dying, but okay with it.

My weak lungs were finally giving in. I mean I was pretty proud of them, they had somehow managed to keep me breathing for eighteen years despite what all the doctors said.

These faulty oxygen purifiers inside me had pumped on, and I was glad for the time they had allowed me here with my dad. Actually, this was for the best, my dying I mean, because I didn't want to see my dad trying desperately to pay the expensive medical fees it took to maintain me anymore. I didn't want to see him suffer anymore.

When I was gone, he would be free to live his own life and not worry about his poor sick son.

He was a great dad and I was going to miss him. I was thankful that I wasn't leaving him alone when I died, I was so happy that he would have Miss Trudy to console him. She was like a mom to me and someone really special to dad, and when I was out of the way, I knew that they would finally have the time to get to know each other better, maybe even get married one day. The thought of that made me really happy.

"Hang in there Noah. Everything is going to be okay."

My dad's voice was strained and his eyes were a blotchy red, full of worry. I think he was trying to convince himself that I would make it past this spell, like I had all the other times, but this time was different, I could feel that this was the last time.

The machines behind my head started beeping incessantly, their blinding lights signalled an army of doctors and nurses to flood into the room. All of them talking and nervous and desperate.

One of the nurses was about to tell my dad to 'please leave the room', so I quickly took the opportunity to say goodbye.

I gently took hold of his hand and squeezed it, just like how I used to when I was a kid when I was scared to go into surgery.

"It's okay dad..." I told him calmly. I looked him straight in his eyes and let him know that I was alright and that I was at peace, and he should be too.

I swear that at that moment I was happy and calm, but as soon as I saw the tears start to roll down my dad's face, tears started rolling down mine too. This was it, this was goodbye and he realized that.

"I love you, dad."

I saw him mouth the same words back to me because he was too emotional to speak. Just then I heard the machine monitoring my heart flatline. A long monotonous beep signalling the end of my life.

The bright white light shining down on me from the ceiling seemed to suddenly consume my vision and with that the entire room. Soon I was completely encapsulated in this strange light, I was beginning to feel weightless like I was losing the connection to my body and then I started to notice the sound of my voice in my head start to get softer like it was fading away, like I was fading away. So this was death, a gentle fading sensation. Not bad really.

"Not just yet I'm afraid Mr Mathews." The sound of a clear feminine voice right next to me made me abruptly open my eyes and suddenly break away from the fading sensation.

My heart jumped in my chest and a stared at the curious woman who had startled me. I couldn't help but form a grudge against her for waking me from what felt like the best nap I ever had.

I was about to say something but a glance at my surroundings caught the words in my throat. I was literally standing on air.

I was unmistakeably standing, or floating rather, in the middle of a sunset sky. Massive white clouds loomed all around me opening up to reveal the bright orange and pinks of a breathtaking skyline. Beams of light filtered through the chubby clouds making beautiful shining rays that cut the sky in front of me. My hand stretched out and the warm light trickled onto my hand.

This sight was a thousand times better than all the wildlife documentaries I watched that had been filmed from planes and helicopters.

Although the sunshine was warm, I was cold because of the breeze flowing all around me which made my hospital gown dance in the wind. I looked around at the endless beautiful sky. The icy chill of cold wind that blew through my hospital overalls and warm sun rays that nulled the cold. It all felt so real, but I knew it was impossible.

"Over here, Mr Matthews." The same voice came from behind me this time and was just as unpleasant as the first time I heard it.

I whipped around to see a young woman in what looked like a secretary's outfit: black pencil skirt, white blouse, dark brown hair tied back in a bun and grey rimmed glasses resting on her pointy nose. She had the face of a grumpy librarian through and though: pursed lips, sharp irritated eyes, and thin sharp eyebrows.

Just then a gust of wind blew into us, making my hospital gown twist in the wind, it also managed to put the secretary's bun in disarray. She didn't seem to care though because she brushed her fringe aside as if it was yesterday's news.

"Noah Matthews." She called out to me over the wind in a voice that sounded like it belonged to the principle of a high school: authoritative and impatient.

"Tell me something. Are you ready to die?" I found her gaze unsettling, she was standing right in front of me but she seemed empty, as if she had asked this question a thousand times and whatever answer I was going to give was one she had heard before. She really seemed dead inside, or rather inhuman. I couldn't relate to the expression in her eyes, besides the obvious look of irritation. She made me feel so uncomfortable that I wanted to look away, but somehow I found that impossible.

"Yes, I am. I'm ready." I had said goodbye to my dad, my dad was the person who mattered the most to me, so saying goodbye to him was why I was at peace.

"Really?" The strange secretary lifted a sharp eyebrow at me and sounded somewhat surprised. Had I managed to give an answer she wasn't expecting?

"You are satisfied with the life you just lived?"

I tried not to be insulted by the tone of disbelief in her voice. She took a few steps towards me through the clouds, seemingly unbothered by the cold wind hitting her, expertly navigating this sky scape.

"I know it wasn't much of a life, but I'm satisfied. I've said my goodbyes." I said.

I thought back to all the years I had lived. Being diagnosed as a baby with an incurable lung disease to a family who could barely afford medical insurance. My mother had struggled to keep it together for a few years, but eventually, she couldn't bare the financial weight and left my dad and me when I was four years old.

From then on it was just my dad and I. I was struggling with trying to live a normal life, while he was working himself to death trying to make more money to pay for treatments to prolong my life.

Somewhere along the way, I got well enough to go to school, but I was always coughing and wheezing in the back of the class. So I became that kid that nobody wanted to play with. As if my condition was contagious, the kids pretty much avoided me like the plague. I think my poor self-image and bad self-esteem caused me to have relapses all through school where I had to be rushed to the hospital.

High school had been a bit better actually. Kids weren't that bad anymore, everyone was too busy trying to fit in to pick on me anymore. I made a few friends and was honestly happy, but the ever-looming threat of death kept my dad and me on our toes.

My visits to the hospital became more frequent, and I knew in my heart that I wouldn't make it to the end of my senior year. I was right, I didn't make it to graduation. A pang of regret trickled into my head when I thought about the girl I had planned to ask to prom.

"Are you sure you're ready to move on? I mean, you spent half of your life sick and miserable in a hospital bed, you can't possibly be satisfied with that existence..."

Was she trying to get me to change my answer, or was she just trying to upset me? Either way, I was tired of her questions and wanted to get to the bottom of this.

"What are you asking me all this questions?" I asked her abruptly, not wanting to continue this beating-around-the-bush conversation with her.

"Well, it just so turns out that you are one of the lucky few who gets a second chance." She smiled an empty smile at me.

"A second chance?" I asked cautiously, not quite understanding what she meant.

"Yes. A second chance at life. You interested?"

I felt bad admitting to myself that I hadn't had much of a life. She was right, I did spend half of it in a hospital bed, waiting until the day I was either cured or died. As it turned out I died, so I did have lingering feelings of dissatisfaction when it came to my life.

I gulped. "Yeah. I'm interested."

She let out a satisfied sigh. "Good. You had me worried that you were going to be one of those ones you choose to move on rather than be reincarnated."

My eyebrows stitched together at her words. "Reincarnated?"

"Yes. Reincarnation is your second chance at life."

What she was saying was hard to comprehend, but I was managing to put two and two together.

"So what you're saying is that I will be born again?"

She nodded once.

"But there are just a few minor details I have to go over with you before you can be reincarnated." She said. Suddenly a cardboard clipboard appeared in her left hand and a pen appeared in her right one. I would have been shocked but after this conversation, I felt like nothing could surprise me anymore.

"Okay, so I am just going to ask you some questions, all you have to do is answer 'yes' or 'no'. Go it?"

"Yes," I said, I found it pretty funny that some afterlife secretary would actually have a questionnaire for me to fill out.

"Is your name Noah Matthews?"

"Yes."

"Do you agree to be reincarnated into the world called Bragon?"

She hadn't mentioned the world's name before, or anything about it. "Um, Bragon? Is that the name of the new world I will be going to?" how could she ask me such a question when I knew nothing about this new world.

"This is a yes or no questionnaire. Please don't respond with anything else." She snapped back at me. I bit my tongue deciding that I would just have to go along with this. After all she might just take back what she said about reincarnation. What if I lost my spot to someone else.

"Yes."

"Do you promise to act responsibly and honourably with the magical powers you will be given?"

"Magical powers?" My heart skipped a beat in my chest.

"Just answer the question please." She snapped at me.

"Yes." I blurted out a reply to stoked with the idea of having magical powers.

"Do you agree to use your powers to protect and help others?"

I nodded. Although I think villains can be pretty cool, it's not in my nature to be the bad guy.

"Sure" I nodded.

If I was going to live again, then this time I would strive to be like my dad. He protected me and looked after me when it would have been much easier for him to just give me up. Yeah, I would be just like my dad.

"Lastly, do you understand that the enjoyment of this life is up to you? and that if you face some hardships it is not the fault of those who reincarnated you?"

These questions were setting off alarm bells in my head, but I didn't raise anything since I didn't have anything to bargain with.

"Yes and yes." I said begrudgingly.

I looked around me at the sunset sky I was in. It might sound cheesy but it felt like the sun was setting on my old life.

"Depending on how you look at it, this could be the sun setting on your previous life, or the sun rising on your new life." I turned to look at the secretary. Her clipboard and pen were gone. She was turned away from me and looking out onto the beautiful endless sky. Now that she had mentioned it, I really wasn't sure if this sky was a sunset or a sunrise.

"What now?" I asked curiously.

She lifted her sleeved arm and pointed directly at the centre of the yellow sun.

"Just walk to it. Don't look back and don't turn away from its light. Just walk straight into it. Accept your fate."

Throughout my life, the thought had constantly been running through my head. Thinking about my disease, hoping for a cure, worrying about the bills dad had to pay, wishing for something else. However now all those thoughts were gone. My mind was clear, empty of worry or doubt. I felt like whatever happened happens. I would survive no matter what. The peace I had felt when saying goodbye to my dad returned to me. I turned forward and did as she said. I started walking through the sky, headed straight for the sun. The light was blinding and I was beginning to feel its overwhelming heat take over me, but I didn't dare turn away. I accepted my fate and as I did the blinding sunlight took over my entire body and my consciousness, all that was left was the light and my unknown future.