Ying and yang

Nature is balance. your elements are always in balance. if there aren't we find ourselves in a state of chaos.

Chaos.the reason why we are all gathered here today. The reason why I'm trying to ruin my reputation, the only thing that hits enough to stick.

He was chaos.

Every single passing moment that I saw him, every time he called, every message he typed in the morning or the night spelled chaos.

Why do I feel this way? Because this is not normal! Beautiful people are supposed to go for other beautiful people. While the ugly ones like us are supposed to wallow in self-pity and only imagine scenes where these beautiful people were interested in us. That's balance, that's what I was thought. So what the hell is going on!

Why was I sitting down on the hood of his car, at the reef smoking weed? Why would we be so close to my body that I could smell his perfume? Why was I noticing his perfume? Looking at his lips .noticing all the features on his face, thinking of us together in an alternative world; a world where we can be together without any consequences.

"Sorry. what are you talking about .one direction causes a culture shake." I say and take a long drag from my weed. Normally I wouldn't opt for any kind of weed. but they have to be something about this weed that just feels so good. maybe it's the fact that he was the one that brought it, and it had been touched by his beautifulness.

"I'm not sure you can say that.." he replies and the way he just pronounces the words, particularly how he emphasizes the vowels and add somewhat of a "the" sound to them. makes me feel like we are all saying the wrong things.

" is what can I say?"

" well, for starter Alte music is not just a gen x thing"

I fake a sigh." no. So it was not invented by "

He laughs, then picks up a stone and throws it over the ledge. I hear a faint thud as it hits the ground and the sound mixes with his laugh.

"No, it wasn't.and can people stop saying Lucas Sabbath invented the lay back late aesthetic"

I chuckle. This is not happening. I and lane are not having a cute argument about the invention of late music. would someone just take our pictures and send them to tmz. Nah, I wouldn't want that .why would I want another group of editors and writers dissecting my looks.

"But you cannot deny the fact that he contributed to it.."

"Sonia. you look beautiful in this moonlight."I'm drawn to the way he calls my name, the way he says it makes me almost believe it.

"Where are you from again. I love your accent" I say in an attempt to steer the conversation.

"Uhhhhh...." don't tell me you're only attracted to me because of my accent.

"Nah. But it's a plus." he blushes and I'm tempted to take a picture and store it forever. of course, that would be excessive. but, wow! since when did moonlight get this flattering.

I'm sure I look like a mess. but a clean mess I hope the least. I've accepted that my seduction tactics might not just work. And I'm fine with it. but I have to say, something feels right about tonight.

" you're from ?" I ask taking in another drag, and letting the flavor coax my throat.

He frowns.

"I told you I'm from Senegal" he rolls the weed, throwing his face in the direction of the car. I think he is slightly getting annoyed. He is? I shouldn't have asked. Damn it, Sonia!

"Oh"

" yeah"

We stay there in silence.

I had almost given up hope. I knew this was how it was supposed to go. he was probably another beautiful boy who was interested in something exotic, different, or strange. You know what they say; the ugly girls give good heads. They usually compensate their bad looks with better sex. Obviously, he was a sex-starved foreigner that needed to try it all.

But he surprised me too, when he was done rolling the joint he handed it over to me and smiled.

"I like you Sonia " I'm confused did say he liked me? Sober? Is he sober? I check to see if there was any claro around. he is staring at me now. Expressionless just like I had always dreamed he would look if he stares at me like that.

In still short of breath. think Sonia what do I say in this kind of situation.

" Really," I say, and as soon as it gets out of my mouth I regret it. What is the point of all these things people say to make themselves not look desperate if we are not going to use them anyway?

I stare at him blankly. I hope he doesn't realize I'm not what he was picturing, because I was really banking on this to be a good year.

"I really do." I'm bout to say the same when I notice something shifting through the grass. or rather someone,

I turn back to lane and pretend I had just imagined the somewhat green eyes staring at me through the grass.

" so I was thinking if we could move inside, it's a little bit chilly and I think the weed has started to kick in"

He is staring at me intensely, I don't know how to feel about the way he kept his eyes on mine. My body is confused! I swallow enough spit to stay hydrated again, it's not working! My tongue is numb and I can feel my breath rapidly increasing.

I look back at Lucas his dark eyes had turned green also, somewhat green like the eyes I had seen in the bus before.

I had to get out of there.

I jump off the hood of the car, but my leg is to wobbly to walk , instead I fall off the hood on my face.

" air, air " I try to mutter but it barely comes out of my mouth. All that came off was something like a puff.

Luca was off the hood and lingering over me, I managed to keep my eyes open, stare away. Maybe I would get to live. But it had made it to my head now and now all around me there were this people staring at me with intense green eyes.

That was before I went numb