1 A memory of Bliss

That feeling of joy, of pure happiness, from simply getting exactly what you desire, I had forgotten it; Lost it, unattached from its memories. Recently I have triggered an occurrence which had great potential to resurface this emotion, but I had forgotten it's existence completely. Given up on it and put it aside similar to the way one throws away the wonder of a mystery when proven impossible or too "far out". But I have had an epiphany… a fleeting memory of this sensation, although I fail to recall past happenings successful in starting up this divine state. But I can feel that it is there in some way.

I must not forget this state; although I fail to fully comprehend whether it is really but an imaginary legend or myth, birthed through sheer hope, or a memory deeply hidden in time, in an attempt to rid of a blissed pleasure. Thinking of this state, must imply that there was another side, one of disappointment.; this leads me to the hypothesis that the fading in my thought process related to this legend, sprouted a series of cowardice steps to eradicate this great disappointment at the cost of forgetting the bliss along with it. What possible Great Depression could Ensue such drastic measures. I can only imagine.

One theory behind the cause of this suppression of memory, implying this is it's true nature. Is that it is a complete imaginary state, brought up from the talk of a divine state, a nirvana, or true peace, bliss. The one in the back of every thinkers mind; That there is such a state where we sub consciously hope all our actions to better ourselves will lead to. Perhaps it is a cause of these thoughts, a manifestation of a false perception of peace.

Another theory behind this happening in my mind. Could be a more simpler one… one where I was simply a coward. I was lazy. One where I had not reached the state which is imagined or remembers, and became so depressed that I made a subconscious executive decision, to cleanse myself of the liability and hope.