2 Faith Clair
'You Do Not Wake Up One Day And Discover You Are A Butterfly. Growth Is A Slow But Steady Process.' ~ Unknown
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People Cannot Free Their Own Minds, From The Eternal Prison Of Sadness And Turmoil. The Concept Of Happiness Can Be Best Described As An Abstract Idea, A Blank Canvas, On Which Many People Paint Their Pretty Pictures, Using The Different Shades Of Perception. As Such, The Very Idea Of Finding True Happiness, Is Rather Paradoxial. Happiness Cannot Exist Without Percieved Sadness. It Is Integral That Chaos And Stability Co-Exist Side By Side.
I Stare At The Night Sky, As I Sit Beside The Window. Sometimes The Night Sky Feels Alive, With The Emergence Of Bright Stars. However Today Felt Different. Today, The Sky Just Felt Empty. As If I Was Staring Into An Abyss, An Empty Void. Perhaps Monsoon Has That Effect. Perhaps Nature Wanted Me To Understand That Even Percieved Beauty Can Be Masked Behind The Gloom Of Dark, Heavy Clouds.
Hearing A Sound Coming From Below, I Turned My Gaze Towards Cornwall Road, The Area Where I Lived. From Here, You Could Stare At The Big Ben For Hours On End, Soaking In The Lights And The Grandeur. A Symphony Of Crickets Began To Sing, Calling Out To Their Potential Mates As I Stared Towards The People Walking Past. Some Of Them Were All Alone. Some Of Them Walked Happily With Their Families. A Light Drizzle Began To Grace The Earth As I Quickly Shut The Windows To Avoid Getting Wet From The Rain.
London Is A Big Place. For Tourists, Its The Perfect Place To Visit, The Area Is Filled With Gardens And Parks On Every Corner And Has Many Many Different Sights. Having Lived Here All My Life However, I Feel Quite Indifferent. Maybe Perhaps Because I Am So Invested Towards Trying To Make My Life Better.
After The Fatal Car Crash, Which Turned My Life Upside Down Six Years Ago, My Uncle Robert And Aunt Audrey Adopted Me. Well 'Adopted' Is A Ruse. They Didn't Want Anything To Do With Me, Took My Property And Kicked Me Out. After A Year Of Living All Alone On The Streets, Miserable, And Desperate, I Managed To Get My Life Back Together, Working At A Cafè, The Place Where I Still Work To This Date. However, Renting An Apartment Here Comes With Its Own Set Of Problems. And Of Course, My Aunt And Uncle Wont Leave Me Alone. They Probably Want Me Dead.
They Wont Have To Worry For Too Long Though. Just My Birthday... Arriving Next Spring.
As I Sat On The Bed, Enjoying The Concert Between The Drizzling Rain And Irritated Crickets, I Can't Help But Think About My Parents. Would Things Have Been Different Had They Been Around? I Don't Know. But I Do Know That They Wouldn't Let Their Own Daughter Suffer Like This.
"Mom. Dad." I Whimpered. "I Miss You."
I Sigh, As I Lie Down And Turn Off The Lights. The Beautiful Scent Of The Earth Wafts Throughout The Apartment As The Drizzle Turns Into Heavy Rain. As I Look At My Arms, I See The Scars Of My Life Embedded On Them. The Numerous Ocassions Where I Cut Myself. Trophies.
From Visits To A Therapist, To Numerous Loan Sharks Hounding Me, I Am Tired Of It All. Ever Since I Was Eleven Years Old, I Never Had A Chance To Live A Life, Like Most Girls My Age. I Never Had Any Friends, Nor Did I Have Anyone I Could Look Up To. No School, No High School Prom, No Parties And Certainly No Lovers. All I Have Ever Known, Is Voices. Voices Of The Unknown Which Scream And Beckon Me To Join Them.
As The Sounds Of The Rain Intensify, I Sob Uncontrollably. I Miss My Mother. My Father. I Need Them Now More Than Ever, But I Know They Are Far.. Far Away From Me. In A Realm, Where I Cannot See Them.
But No Worries..I Will Be Joining Them Soon Enough.
As I Drift Towards The Land Of Dreams, Tired From Sobbing And Whimpering, I Begin To Loose Conciousness. These Chances Are Rare, As I Do Not Get Sleep Easily, Without Medication. After I Was Diagnosed With Insomnia And Heavy Anxiety, Sleep Eluded Me To The Point, Where I Did Not Sleep For Days On End.
My Dreamland Adventures Are Interrupted By A Loud Thud Outside The Window. I Sigh As I Get Up Cursing, To Shoo Away A Bird Which Perhaps Landed On My Window To Seek Shelter From The Rain. However As I Approach The Drapes, An Omnious Feeling Freezes My Legs In Place.
As I Look Towards The Drapes, I See A Silhouette Of A Man. A Sinister Shadow Outside My Window. Terror Grabs My Heart, As I Try To Scream. Grabbing A Vase Nearby, I Inch My Way Towards The Window And Pull The Drapes.
However, An Owl Stares Back At Me. Not A Man.
A Huge White Owl, With Piercing Yellow Eyes. The Feeling Of Dread Returns Almost Instantly As I Try To Pull My Gaze Away. The Owl Traps Me In Its Piercing Gaze. Trying To Understand. Trying To Read My Thoughts.
And Uttering A Big "Who?" The Owl Flies Away.
I Scramble Back From The Window, Trying To Catch My Breath. Owls Are Not Very Common In This Area, However Every Now And Then, Some Barn Owls Are Spotted. But Never White Ones.
And Suddenly I Realise That I Have Seen This Type Of Owl Once In My Life. Ages Ago, After Having The Dream About The Big Bad Wolf Mauling My Parents To Death.
Exhausted From The Ordeal I Lie Down On The Bed Again. As I Close My Eyes, I Try To Imagine Myself In A Happy Life.
However The Feeling Of Paranoia Never Leaves Me.
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When Morning Arrives, I Wake Up To The Sound Of My Phone Alarm. Groggily I Rush Towards The Bathroom As I Shower And Get Ready For My Cafè Job. I Look Into The Mirror As I Tie My Hair. On Somedays I Feel Extremely Pretty , While On The Others I Feel Like Shit.
And Today Was One Of The Days I Felt Like Shit.
I Quickly Grab A Toast As I Rush Outside And Bike Towards The Location. I Work In A Cafè Called 'Roxanne's' Located Near Webber Street. A Bit Far From My Apartment Building, But I Didn't Mind. The Cafè Owner, Stephanie Was Kind Enough To Hire Me.
Well Technically She Saw Me As Her Friend, More Than As An Employee. Stephanie Is A Single Mother Of Two Adorable Kids, Who Are In Second Grade.
As I Reach There, Stephanie Comes Outside The Cafè With A Big Grin On Her Face. She Looks At Me And Mumbles , "Hey Faith! Lets Get To Work, Rainy Season Means More Customers!"
I Smile And Nod As I Quickly Change. I Don't Really Talk Much In General, Thats Why I Just Focus On Making The Food. Stephanie Is The Front Of The House, As She Greets Her Customers And Expedites The Servers. As I Wash My Hands And Begin Making The Orders, I Listen To Some Songs. They Soothe Me And Help Me Focus.
Working Nonstop, I Begin To Loose A General Sense Of Time, As My Body Automatically Adjusts To The Rhythm Of Washing, Chopping, Preparation And Cooking. As The Last Hour Of My Shift Begins, Stephanie Enters The Kitchen.
"Good Work Faith!" She Smiles, Beaming Ear To Ear. Seriously How Does This Girl Have So Much Positivity? Sometimes It Makes Me Envious.
"Faith, There Is A Slight Problem. We Are Out Of Supplies And Most Of The Servers Have Already Left. Can You Lock Up The Place For Me After Your Shift? I Will Bring The Supplies In Tommorow. I Gotta Spend Some Time With The Kids." She Exclaims.
"Sure." I Reply As I Try To Smile Back. She Hugs Me Tightly And Quickly Leaves.
I Exit The Kitchen And Come Towards The Dining Area. I Watch Outside The Large Cafè Windows As Rain Begins To Fall Again. Very Few People Visit During The Last Hour Of Service, As We Run Out Of Fresh Supplies. I Sit In A Booth As I Continue To Stare Outside.
"Excuse Me." A Voice Startles Me As I Jump, Almost Hitting My Legs On The Table Below.
I Turn To Look. A Gentleman Dressed In A Long Brown Coat, Smiles At Me. I Quickly Exit The Booth And Allow Him To Sit. He Is Clean Shaven, And Based On His Appearance, Seems Like A Detective Of Some Sorts, In His Mid 30s. However What's Striking About Him, Is His Eyes.
They Are Amber. Pure Amber In Colour. This Eye Colour Is So Rare, That Only Five Percent Of The Total World Population Inherits This Shade.
However Somewhere, Deep Inside, I Can't Help But Shake Off The Feeling That I Have Seen This Man Somewhere. I Feel A Very Familiar Sense Of Dread Slowly Creeping Up, As My Legs Freeze.
"Hello Faith Clair." He Smiles. "Its Good To Meet You Again."
