1 CH1: To know where I'm going, You need to know where I came from

It all started around the year I was born, a turbulent-time for all of humanity, but for those who knew the underlining occurrences, it somehow came with no surprise, but rather with mixed feelings from all human emotion spectrum.

My father did not care at all. Actually, since my mother death it seems he does not care about anything at all, and with the fact that I was born shortly before my mother death, you could say my father never really cared about me much, except maybe as my mother's memento left in the world, and the 1 to carry his unfulfilled wishes, as anyone could feel the depression's scars in him, like a man who lost his own goals, and live just to live.

I won't say he's a bad father, probably better than most fathers in today society in my opinion, but it appear that today's society expect negligence parenthood as a weird standard for child-raising, as they will leave their children as soon as they can, like kindergarten, school, classes, groups, friend's home, nannies, and wherever else they can neglect their responsibilities to raise and educate them. so all in all, I have a pretty good fortune to enjoy my parent's background in this regard.

My Step-Mother is my angel. She says she used to be called the 'devil child', but to me, she's worth more than an angel. I never understood why would she be with my father, who I presume as a good-for-nothing weirdo, and why would she always care about him being well.

Many years ago I asked her that question, and she told me "the universe needs idiots like your father", while laughing and patting me on the head, but she also mumble-out-loud "..but I hope that you won't end up like him..", and I could hear her with how close she was to me.

Today is the memorial day of my mother's death, and the funny thing about it, it's actually a happy-day for humanity, where in most countries there's even 1-day holiday, and the streets filled with parades and happiness all around.

They call it "Heroic Day", in memorial to those who used their life for the "greater good", to those altruistic heroes who contribute the whole world.

For me? it's probably a sad day, cause I find it hard to enjoy the fact my mother died for other's happiness, while leaving me alone in this world. what's more, I'm filled with doubts about her choosing such a fate, and even blaming my father in my thoughts.

It all started in my childhood, where I have memories, from scattered pieces of papers around the house who made me confused with the tales I heard, and from short talks with my drunken father, about him blaming himself for leaving my mother to die.

What's funny is that instead of being blamed or scrutinized, like he always feel, and so am I, he and my mother both hailed as heroes who saved this world and countless people, and my mother's nickname turn to "The Saint", as people say 'her noble soul is what keeps humanity alive', and 'we should all be more like her'. funny. They wanna be like her ... she's dead, you know?

My father, the great hero, is revered as so by many since it was mentioned he had major part in my mother's heroic tale, a tale I hear from others, but never from him, as even mentioning my mother next to him make him disappear from sight right after.

As for me, I hail him as a hero, but only because he chose to never reveal I'm my mother son, or that he was married to my mother, but rather announced my step-mother as his and my birth-mother child.

My step-mother is also known and hailed, but only as a small part of it, while she denies any reverence toward her, making me wonder 'who calls her a devil as she says so herself'.

As today is my mother's memorial, we went to her grave, me and my step-mother, as my father had to go to some ceremony, who knows where, to represent some humanity hope.

Me and my step-mom were sitting in a bench in front of her grave, on a small hill surrounded by beautiful sakura trees, who's hidden behind our house, who's in the suburb-town of a city, well-hidden by high walls, who prevent visitors and passer-by to even know of it existence.

All around us there was rain of flowers, ranging from white, to pink, and red.

On the ground there were puddles of flowers, and from the distance it seems we were sitting in the middle of a pinkish-sea.

My step-mom pat my head with one hand, and with the other pick a flower who got stuck in my bluish-black hair. She comb my hair, making it into a high ponytail, and start to decorate it with the flowers she picked up and keep falling onto us.

It made me look more and more like a flower basket than a manly man, but the look in my eyes was cold enough to break that image, and make me look like a man who's indifferent to the whole world.

I turn to look at my step-mom, who was smiling, but not a smile of happiness, but rather lovely-sad, curving her red plump lips a bit upward.

Her greenish eyes were looking at me, making me feel like I could just stare at her for eternity, and be content that I lived my life seeing the most beautiful thing there is. She have sunglasses stuck in her hair, above her eyes, but weirdly enough I had never seen her wear her sunglasses over her eyes, yet I was happy I can always see those mesmerizing eyes.

Her hair was flowing with the wind, and with the sunlight on her, the hair seems to change colors from black to blue, or sometime green, like a reflection of her eyes. it reminds me how most people saw her as my mom because I also had that bluish-black hair.

"How are you feeling my dear?" she ask me quietly, with her body facing the grave, and her head turned to me. I stare at her for a few seconds, than avert my eyes back to the grave, while I start leaning my head to her shoulder, saying "mmmm .... I love you".

She laugh, and her voice makes my ears drown in that gentle sound, who echo to my lonely soul. I believe me and my step-mom never act like mom-child, rather, two lonely broken souls who found each other, finding peace in each other, together, with deep affection to never break apart.

She starts to caress my hair gently, and after a few minutes she push my head from her shoulder to her lap, making me lie down on the bench with my head on her lap and her hand keep striking my hair gently.

My eyes were half opened, moving between the flowery sky, to trying to look at her eyes, but her bosom block our eyes from meeting. "And how are you feeling?" I ask her.

There were a few seconds I could hear the sound of air moving around us quietly, like it also wish to hear her answer, till she said "mmmm ... I love you too?", kinda mimicking my voice and answer from before.

I could imagine what smile she must be having now, and I retort to her, asking "is it a question or an answer?" with a sad voice, while shaking my head like I'm pouting.

Suddenly, she makes a weird sound, "NNnnn", like she feel joy, and say "an answer, of course...", and after few second add "but I meant to ask you how do you feel about today specifically".

I stop moving and she return to brushing my hair, but more intimately, gently passing her fingers over my ears, then cheeks, and neck.

"I really do love you, today even more than yesterday" I tell her, while tilting my head on her lap to face her stomach, and kiss her where her navel is.

Suddenly, she make the weird noise again, "NNnnn", and press my cheeks with her fingers, like she want to bury my head into her stomach. I snuggle deeply in her lap, close my eyes, put my right hand on her hip, and try to tickle her, so I could hear her heavenly laugh again.

"NNnnn", she moan silently, instead of laughing like I wished to, but it was even better, so I gently continue to caress her hip with the edge of my fingers, my face facing her stomach, her right hand moving on my cheek and neck, and her left hand on my right hand shoulder, pushing it closer to hep hip.

I could smell something intoxicating, who came from her, rather than the sea of flowers surrounding us. I wished to eat or drink that intoxicating smell, whatever it was, as smell is actually small particles who touch your taste buds, so I try to bury my head deeper on her stomach, opening my mouth, and inhaling as deep as I can, almost vacuuming her.

"NNnnn", she sound again, and the intoxicating smell suddenly start to hit me stronger than ever. I feel like I can taste it in my mouth, but she then start to move and fidget, humming a silent "hnnnn..." "annnn..." "ahhhh...", then stop moving for a moment, while I keep enjoying the smell, till she abruptly stand up, say "excuse me, I got to go", and walk down the hill.

I lie down back on the bench, with my head facing the grave, and try remembering the painting I saw of my mother.

'She was 'the-girl-next-door' beauty, with lovely dimples adoring her cheeks, blond curly long hair that would move with every movement of her body, and contrary to all that, she had really strong brown eyes. an unwavering eyes. the eyes who would face the whole universe and still stand the same, in the same place, without shaking' I think as I recall the image from my memory.

I could see myself in her eyes, cause I had the same stare, just my eye's color is different from hers, and not just from her, I also have different eye color than my father, weirdly enough. What's more, the different hair color, and more details, who made me feel a bit unrelated, like I wish to see the proofs of my birth in my look, yet I understand not every child is a copy of the parents.

While I kept thinking of her, I hear a rustle noise behind me, and when I turned around to look, I see my father walking toward me with a flower bouquet in his hands, looking really stupid because he was actually walking in this sea of flowery ocean, flower-petals rain everywhere, but he came with more flowers in hand.

The flowers he holds were Hibiscus, kinda weird flower to bring, but I guess it had it meaning to him, a meaning who he never share, but leave a deep image of it in my mind.

He look at me with his strong grayish-black eyes, a gentle smile on his face, ruffle black hair, and wearing clothes like he came out from last century cartoon of some pirate show, with open shirt, boots, and chains on his neck and pants.

'My father is a fashion disaster' I think to myself, but he never feel shame, like he embrace the fact his a weirdo, but luckily, people precept it as a personality trait, a 'hero kink', and act like they never see it as weird.

As he come closer, I can see again how giant he is. You always notice first how tall he is, and then realize how wide-build his body is, muscles everywhere, with his huge head, with round, yet sharp, jaw line.

He also have massive lips, making his mouth stretch across his face, and I'm happy I got that trait from him, that mouth, but luckily I did not get his eyes, but rather big rounded eyes, with a weird colors scheme, raging between gray, blue, and purple.

"What ya doing?" he ask with his ruff tongue, adored with Japanese accent. "Nothing much, trying to remember how she looked like" I tell him while tilting my head back to the grave direction.

He walk past me and the bench, goes on his knees, and put the flower bouquet on the grave, then walk back to the right of the bench, where my head were lying, and sit down on the grass. We sit like that for a few silent minutes, both our eyes on the grave direction, till he speak again.

"I wonder how's she's doing...". I look at him weirdly, thinking 'She's dead, you weirdo'.

"Do you wanna see a photo of her?" he ask me. "Nah, I prefer to imagine her... it has more charm, less sadness, and kinda feel humanly" I answer.

"HAHA" he laugh, showing all his teeth, "Sure enough you are a weirdo like her" he blubber. 'look who's talking' I thought, while raising my eyebrows, and moving my eyes back to the grave.

'I wonder where step-mom went to' I wonder, but hope she won't come, cause she and my father have that weird relationship, and I don't like to be near them together, it feel kinda full of tension, like how I feel business meeting feels like, in complete reversal to how she, and even he, are, when we're alone.

"I got you a birthday present. I know you don't like partying, so I just left it in your room. Check it out later" he tell me. "Is it another weird archaeological relic again? you can just give me your whole collection and get it over with" I tell him.

"HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah! Just an archaeological relic... Just a past history.." he laugh at my words with all his face while blubbering, and I smile weirdly and leave him be.

I think about all the things he gifted me in the past, from weird swords, books, necklaces, metals, to unknown devices, and whatnot, who look more like some movie-props than something from history. By now, I had a whole collection, filling a few bookshelves full of them, and I kinda enjoy this hobby of his to keep collecting those stuff.

"Where's your step-mom?" he ask, waking me from my thoughts.

"She was here just a moment ago, with me ... probably went to the bathroom? ... or maybe to eat something?", I answer while thinking 'I'm hungry too, haven't eaten since yesterday', so I say "I'll go grab me something to fill my stomach. wanna come?".

"Nah, I'll take a nap here. Such a good weather is enough to fill me up" he answer and close his eyes.

I stood up from the bench, and *SMACK*, I feel he hit my back, and he tells me "feels like you haven't train today yet. Don't be a lazy ass, or I'll smack your ass. Our family doesn't need weaklings. Go go go, bon appetite".

'Hahhhh, again with his weird training regime, whatever, I'll go eat, train, shower, and see what weird stuff he got me this time' I thought as I walk toward the house.

After shoving few pieces of pie down my throat, I went to the training room, read some new manuscript organized to me by my step-mom on how and what to train, and then train for 2 hours.

'The training is really amazing, no wonder my step-mom known as a true genius' I think, as even though my training feels more like a manga-workout-plan for a wanna-be-protagonist rather than a normal-gym-style-way, no one can deny the absolute results, rather, I'm praised nonstop about it.

I start from things like breathing technique, 'trying to reconnect with myself and nature? dunno' I keep puzzling about what I'm supposed to do besides breathing.

From there, I begin fighting, in different scenarios, with multiple enemies, or 1 unbeatable opponent, in bizarre circumstances, like standing on a blank board in the middle of the sea, or like today, acting like I'm hunting giant monsters in a forest, using a new weird weapon, hitting a holograph while wearing full tech-suit on me.

I'm just a 10 year old, so it's kinda fun, but as I grew older and face human civilization, I find it really weird. I know my father is an 'otaku', best describe him as having a chunni-syndrome, but my step-mom isn't, so I keep on doing what they instruct me to do, yet feel my education is like playing games in super-hard-mode-difficulty, but still, it's games, so I just play and have fun while at it.

I go into my room, who's in the first floor of the house, in kinda separated part near the extra rooms (training, writing, library, etc), and grab clothes before going to the shower. I suddenly see a weird 'artifact', maybe a relic, on my desk, and walk toward it.

'It feel like it is calling me, telling me to touch it?', I think weirdly, but I just look at it, not wishing to smear my sweat all over my room.

It look like a rough rounded stone with a carving on it, making it look like prehistoric coin, or a rune, with a painting of a star? or a sun? the carving was really detailed, even though it's small, in the size of a palm of a child, it has a majestic and fascinating view to look at. I decide to discover it later, and walk out of the room to the showers.

Walking inside the shower room near my room, I hear muffle sound coming from inside just as I took out my clothes in the laundry room (who's before you go into the shower room) and open the door.

I look inside while walking in, and see that the sitting-bath was filled and a steam-cloud rise from it, and I see my step-mom figure in it, making a relaxed "ahhhhhh...." sound, enjoying her time inside.

I smile to her, saying "Hi, I haven't seen you since you left me in the bench. Please wash my back?". She awkwardly smile to me, shake a bit, and stand up, while starting to walk toward me.

I also walk near her, picking up a bawl, liquid soap, and a towel, while starting to fill the bowl with soap, water, mixing it, and put the towel in before starting to scrub myself with it. She come behind me, say "sit down, I'll help you", take the towel from me, and start scrubbing my back with it.

I continue washing my front with my hands, while she wash my back, and I start a small-talk with her, saying "I just finished training now. Just after you left father came to the grave and we talked a bit... he's being weird as always.. have you seen him? talked to him?".

"Nope", she answer, "Just ate, rested, read a book, and came here waiting for you. Do you wanna do something together later?". "Sure, I'll love to. I just wanna peek on what father gave me, birthday gift he said, and then let's do whatever you want" I answer, while moving my head toward her smiling.

Just when I turn around, my head hit her breast, as she stand near me, and her nipple hit my nose.

She smile, and then hug my head into her bosom. she then squeeze the towel above my head, making it soapy, and moved my head in her bosom, washing it.

I feel a weird tingly feeling rising from within me, something new I never knew before, yet it feel wonderful, wondering what is that feeling.