POV Rara: We Are Different

Aurora Bilqis Paramitha, that is the name my late mother gave to me. Beautiful indeed, as beautiful as the destiny that the universe sent for me. Having a father who loves me very much like a queen in his love palace and a sister who is only 5 minutes away from me is something some people might dream of.

The plus point is that I have been prepared to be the next leader of the Gemilang Group. As the first child or in short as the first grandson of the Dimitri family, I will be the next holder of the leadership relay for the company engaged in the construction sector. It turns out that becoming an adult is something very complicated, not as easy as imagined. For me this is the most real trap that the universe has given me.

I don't know if I should be happy or vice versa right now, when the universe allows me to feel what love is. But one thing that maybe I should always remember, that in this world there is only one man who certainly will not hurt a woman's heart and that man is a father to his daughter.

Dad, maybe he is the most worthy man for me to be crowned as 'The Perfect Man' in my life, and the biggest dream in my life right now is to find a man who loves me as much as father has.

Raka Yudha Juliardo, perhaps the definition of the third best man in my life. Raka is my new neighbor, who just moved in. Kind, handsome, smart, and wise is probably the most appropriate reason for me to make the reason why it must be that man who became the man who managed to steal my heartbeat. 

Raka Yudha Juliardo, his smile, his charm, it's all too perfect for me to refuse. Until 2 years passed, my closeness and Raka did not show good or rapid development. Everything just goes in place. You know why? Because between me and Raka there is a very large barrier wall and it is definitely difficult for us to break down.

It would be a lie if there was no love between us even if it was only a little, that feeling was there both from me and from Raka.

My beliefs and Raka's beliefs are really different. I raised my hand, while Raka held both of his hands. I don't know why Raka and I are so far apart, the difference is becoming more and more real.

Even between me and Raka there is only a place of worship. But I can very clearly feel that the distance that stretches between me and Raka is very far and difficult for me to reach.

I should have realized that it is not easy to unite the servant of God and the servant of God when they already love each other. Love is never wrong, it's just that the anchorage is sometimes not right.

Dear Raka Yudha Juliardo, I only love you, only love you. Without the slightest intention in me to take you from your Lord. I love Raka. I also love God. But I can't choose one of the two.

My dad always said to me, "Don't hug something you don't want to be hugged." A servant of God like me cannot be with a servant of God like Raka.

You know why? Because my tasbih beads are different from your rosary beads. My istighfar is in stark contrast to your singing. The mosque, where I worship Allah is very different from your church. Between the ringing call to prayer and the tolling bells. 

Between the prayer beads in my hand and the necklace of the cross that hangs around your neck. Between the power of intercession and the sweetness of the creed. My tasbih is not your rosary. I will never sing your song in my prostration.

The toughest LDR is not about the distance that stretches so far, but about our beliefs that are difficult to unite. Let the universe give the best answer to what Raka and I are feeling.

***

"Raka!" I shouted in a tone that sounded so loud. It was not difficult for me to know which Raka was among the three people who were walking in front of me.

One of my eyebrows seemed to be raised when I saw the man who I believed was Irza was whispering to Raka. But I just shrugged my shoulders, trying not to be distracted by what three of the four Oscar Geng leaders who were students of Nusantara Bakti High School were doing.

Raka just turned around without the slightest intention of approaching me, but if I saw from the uniform that was being used by Raka I could understand very clearly how Raka's condition was now, not to mention the sweat that still covered his forehead, so I couldn't help but have to go to Raka. which is only five meters from me.

I haven't reached Raka yet, but Laskar and Irza have already left, leaving us alone. 

"Why, Ra?" Raka asked me in a tone that sounded very soft. The way Raka looks at me always makes me forget how to blink and not infrequently because of the gaze given by Raka, I forget how to blink.

Raka always manages to make the heart beat that was originally normal to not be okay. But I tried as hard as I could to normalize my heartbeat.

"Come with me to the bookstore tonight, okay?" The question I asked was actually answered with a look that did not give Raka a good impression at all. As someone who knows Raka very well, I certainly understand very well what is currently going on in the mind of a man who will soon give up his responsibilities as a student council president at Nusantara Bakti High School.

Without me asking, I already know what is currently on Raka's mind. He was considering what reason he should say for refusing what I wanted. But don't call me Rara if you can't make Raka undo his intention. I already know who Raka Yudha Juliardo is quite well, even though I know something that is his weakest point. As fast as lightning I then showed a death move that is definitely difficult for a Raka to refuse.

Of course, my puppy eyes have always been the weak point of a man my age. Seeing the look I gave him, Raka could only roll his eyes lazily and in the end he said, 

"Don't see me like that, Aurora Bilqis Paramitha!" He said giving me a firm ultimatum.

"So?" I asked Raka, who just wanted to confirm what the answer would be.

"I agree, but I just dropped you. Okay?" Just drop me? No, I don't agree, but one thing I must always remember from Raka, he is a person who has a very firm stance.

To make him change his mind is a very impossible thing to do. Once Raka says A, it will forever remain A, it is impossible to change to B, let alone Z. Changing your mind is not the hallmark of Raka Yudha Juliardo. 

"But the pick-up must be on time, how?" Raka immediately nodded without wanting to think about the words I just said.

"Yeah, just call when you want to go home?" Without thinking about it, I agreed to what Raka wanted by moving his head up and down as the answer.

"Remember, the pickup must be on time!" I again gave a firm ultimatum to Raka and he only answered with a nod of his head and a faint smile, but that didn't reduce the charm of his good looks. Just looking at him like that made me fall in love over and over again.

"Yes Princess, Aurora Bilqis Paramitha." Oh God, I'm sure right now, my cheeks are red, like a crab that has just been drained. I can't deny that this piiku is prone to irritation by the smack of want thrown by Raka. 

"Promise?" said by pointing my index finger right in front of Raka. And once again, Raka then welcomed my index finger and then each of our index fingers locked each other.

I've only been treated like this once, especially if I can be with Raka without a dividing wall between us. But unfortunately it was just a dream that I dare not dream at all now.

"You're going to class, huh! You want the bell too, right? Do you want me to take you?" To what Raka wanted, I then answered him with a steady shake without the slightest doubt lodged in my mind.

I then took my steps to go to my class which was only two classes away from Raka's class. To the universe, I know this story of me and Raka will only end in disappointment. I also know that farewell will be the closing ending of this story.

In fact, there will be many tears that accompany the journey of this story. But if all of that is just a word later, let me and Raka hold each other, play a role that we are one who can never be separated. Pretending that we are the best destiny the universe has created.

Even though in reality, we are just two inexperienced children who are fighting fate, bound by the very real differences that lie ahead. The universe seems reluctant to approve of us, and the firmament also opposes us. Meanwhile, we seem to be refusing to forget that this story will not last forever.

Am I selfish if in a third of my night I still say your name so solemnly? But if the barriers that exist between us cannot be removed, then the last prayer I will say is, I want to continue to see your passionate smile even if it's from a distance.

If we part, at least there is pride in me because I was once a person who was as close as a pulse to you, before we were as far as the sun. Raka and I are a couple who love each other, who were brought together for a farewell.

To Be Continued ….