198 Chapter 198

Two weeks, and still the city had not fallen. Two weeks, and only dispatches had come her way. Two weeks, and order was still not restored. "Pull some of the soldiers back from the wall and reinforce the capital." Calca said with some reluctance.

Remedios looked at her with alarm and began to struggle in her bed, "My Queen… the demihumans might invade." Her deep and staring eyes did not have the desired effect on the Queen.

"They haven't been united in over a hundred years, as long as that remains the case, we don't need to reduce the numbers for long, just enough to take back the capital. They lack discipline, unity, and order. As long as nobody gives them that, we can quickly right the situation here and then…" Calca frowned, "I believe some of the penalties involved with rioting can be modified… if they like fighting so much, let them serve at the wall. Every peasant caught with weapons or wounds from fighting, will be sent to the north east to the border with the Abelion Hills. That should increase our numbers more than we need."

Remedios relaxed, she ceased trying to sit back up. "My Queen," she grunted a little and inched herself up on her pillow. It was thickly stuffed with goose down, the blankets were linen and the mattress thickly stuffed with cotton, it was the finest place to rest that the Queen could have given her. Yet the restored Paladin was constantly agitating to rise and train to regain her old strength.

"And we're going to the capital, my brother and I both." Calca informed her paladin, and Remedios tried to rise again.

"Then I need to go too!" Remedios insisted, only for Calca to lay a hand on her chest and push her back down by force.

"No, Remedios. No. You are not fit to fight, or to protect me, or for anything right now but breathing and getting better." Calca's eyes shimmered a bit and she choked a little as she spoke, "Just be patient, you'll be up and about again before you know it."

Remedios struggled against a hand that was not much stronger than a young child, 'I should be with my Queen… not here! Damn it! Damn the dragon, damn the bitch, damn the demihumans and their sympathizers… this is all their fault! I was just doing my duty and what did I get for it… damn them all!' She cursed and looked away from her Queen and back up toward the ceiling.

"Yes, your Majesty." Remedios acknowledged, and Calca slowly stood up.

The Queen was quiet for a moment, then another moment, and then another, until Remedios finally slightly turned her head to face her Mistress and asked, "My Queen, is there more?"

Calca nodded, she remained mute and folded her hands in front of her waist, her lips twitched and moved as if she was about to speak, but could not get out the words. Finally, she took a long slow breath and said, "I have been a fool. I was the Queen because Caspond didn't really want the throne, and because he thought I would be better fit for it than he or our brothers. I was the Queen because I was loved, and I loved our people. I was driven by my ideals, my dreams of a Kingdom where nobody cried, where everyone was happy, and now look." She gritted her teeth and sucked air audibly between them.

"My capital falls to a rioting mob, the South withholds taxes, elven slaves rise in rebellion, and even my paladins no longer trust in my justice. I must own my part in all these things, I am the Queen, therefore the gold coin stops in my palm." Calca raised her hand and closed all but her pointer finger into a fist, and leveled the remaining finger at Remedios.

"But you, my brother, your sister, also have a hand in all of this. I was 'handled'. I put too much faith in all of you, even though you believed in my ideals, you corrupted them at your whims. Kelart and Caspond's tolerance of the slave trade in the south… I was assured 'slaves are too expensive to treat poorly' and that they would live lives that made them grateful to be here rather than in the Theocracy. But if that were so, they wouldn't be slaughtering my people and rising in revolt. You, corrupted my laws to convict whoever you wanted… you won your trials, but at the cost of having nobody trust them anymore. You executing the Huntress of the Wildlands led directly to the assault on the wall by the very dragon she saved. Making things worse, her family… one of the Nine Colors, has abandoned us. He and his wife sent formal letters of resignation and castigated us over what happened to their daughter. I can't even apologize because they've disappeared!"

Remedios's eyes opened in alarm, "My Queen I was only trying to-"

Calca would have none of it. "Shut up." The Queen commanded. "Your Queen speaks." Calca shook her head, "I put too much faith in people who lacked it themselves, how can I expect people to press my ideals if they won't follow them? If my ideals can't work without destroying them entirely, they don't work at all. When all is said done, you will answer for what you've done. Perhaps if I had known more, the dragon might have become an ally, our northern border could have been easily secured. Perhaps the Huntress was right. Perhaps if we treated the demi-humans with some kindness, we would not always be enemies. Perhaps if I had seen the condition of the elves, I could have ended their suffering… but I knew nothing, trusted everyone, and now… here we are."

The rant ran out of steam, and for a moment the weary Queen's shoulders slumped and her accusing hand fell away from where it pointed. "Rest, Remedios, you will get the chance to work my will again, but when you do, you will not be doing so as the Commander of the Paladin Order. And you will follow my orders, or you will wish you had."

The Queen's furious tears of anger never left her eyes, as if those too had been drained of energy, Remedios could only lie there open-mouthed and in disbelief as her beloved leader spun on her heel and left the paladin to lie impotent in bed, barely able to believe, or even process, what had just happened.

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Queen Calca's carriage arrived with pomp and ceremony at the siege of Hoburns, trumpets, drums, and cheers came from her soldiers, her banners on full display. The mob rule of the capital was so audibly alarmed by her coming that Calca could hear their cries of consternation before she even set foot on the ground when her carriage stopped.

She emerged into the crisp air of late summer that promised a cool and gentle autumn ahead, her eyes followed the activity of the camp around her, a command tent sat a few feet away, and when her first foot hit the ground, Gotsa was already in front of her and down on one knee. His big round head bowed before her, one hand on the hilt of his sword and his other closed into a fist over his heart. His armor had many dents and scuffs, and had obviously been repaired a few times.

"My Queen!" He said in a gruff, confident voice, "Welcome home."

Calca had to smile a little bit at that despite the grim situation. "I'm not exactly 'home' yet, am I, Commander?"

"Nearly, My Queen. Nearly. We've almost breached the walls in several places, and we've had some successful assaults, we've also repelled several attempts to sally out here and stop us directly." He laughed a brutish laugh, "They won't try that again."

Calca tried not to think of the cost of life and blood that lay behind his laughter, and instead turned her eyes up toward the walls, "Do I have any supporters left inside?"

"We asked about that, Majesty." Gotsa said and his lips went tight and drawn across his face. "We did lose some people as prisoners when we were pushed back from the walls, and we believe that some of the common bureaucrats and a few nobles may still be alive. They've hinted about it to us, but there is nothing certain."

"Hinted?" Queen Calca emphasized the word, "Exactly what do you mean?"

"We asked about it at our first parlay," Gotsa explained, some of the vigor gone from his voice, "they said, 'it would be a shame if your arrows found the wrong marks'. I take that to mean that they were threatening to use hostages as shields against our arrows, so, per Your Majesty's policy, we prioritized the lives of the hostages and have used no archery unless we confirmed that there were no innocents there who could be harmed."

"That must have made fighting difficult." Queen Calca remarked in a passive voice of regret, her eyes went down, "How many soldiers died for that policy, I wonder."

"Paladins and knights are supposed to protect the innocent, Your Majesty. Nobody has complained but…" He swallowed, "I would be lying if I said it didn't make fighting harder, many times we could have suppressed their archers, but did not because we couldn't confirm that no hostages were present."

"That is my fault too…" Queen Calca straightened up, her blue eyes became like steel, "I'm changing that policy, I won't sacrifice the loyal this way, I won't hobble my army or my administration any longer. If they use hostages, they use them, and we will save whom we can… it's better than not saving anyone."

"As my Queen wills it." Commander Gotsa answered with confidence.

'Just like that,' Calca thought with dismay, 'he abandons my ideals, no fighting, no argument, no debate. Just... the Queen's Will be done. Did anyone truly believe in them… or was I really all alone in trying to make them real?' In that moment, a profound sense of loss hit the Holy Queen, her heart broke in her breast and it was all she could do not to weep openly as if she were watching a precious child of her own body die in her own arms. A part of herself was dead, and nothing could bring it back.