Professional Guide: How To Pick Up Women

"I think I'm lost..."

In the basement of an abandoned building, a clothed penis stood, staring at his surroundings.

"Where the fuck am I?"

After defeating Dengue Man, he said a few cool lines and left. But in an attempt to appear cool, he forgot where the exit was and is now lost in the basement.

"I guess I have to use my powers after all."

The penis - no, he has a name now - Nunu, can freely change his size to whatever he wants. Although he is normally human sized because he believes, 'Penis need to be bigger to assert dominance'.

He suddenly grew small and flew into an AC vent using his Yellow Jetpack.

After finally escaping the building, he went into a corner and returned to his normal size (although human sized penis aren't normal at all). After returning to his apartment he contemplated his next plan of action.

"I finally defeated one of the Z-Vengers, one step closer to achieving my goal."

What is his goal? You might ask, his goal is to defeat all the Z-Vengers. Why? becau-

"TIME TO FAP!!" Nunu suddenly screamed as he took off all his clothes and opened his laptop. "Stupid Dengue Man, that's what you get for interrupting my fap time."

--------

The next day, Nunu suddenly remembered the woman he saw while going to the building. He suddenly had an impulse to go see her again. After all, she had huge jugs.

"I'm gonna start jogging from now on. Absolutely not with ulterior motives." He said while shaking his head. He put on his casual outfit (with his face covered obviously) and went out to jog in the same path he saw that woman was going.

Once he caught up, he was just about to speak to her when a sudden realization struck him. "I don't have any communication skills! FUCK!''

Yes, in the past 5 years he had only talked to a single girl normally. And that too in the forest. Since he left the forest, he had only talked about official matters like looking for the Z-Vengers or something with the women he came into contact with.

He took out his phone and quickly made a post with the title 'How to talk to women. #Urgent #Help'

Although most people were trolls, he got a few decent replies and walked up to the woman.

"Hey girl! Kachow!"

After looking at her disgusted expression he finally concluded that the internet can not be trusted.

After returning home after his failure, he started furiously howling, "WHAT THE FUCK! THAT LINE WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME INSTANT PUSSY!! FUCK YOU INTERNET PEOPLE!!"

After calming down a little, he remembered a few words from his master, "No matter what happens, remember one thing: never give up!"

Nodding his head, he spoke, "Master sure is wise, I will try again tomorrow!"

--------

The next day he headed out once again. But this time he was fully prepared. He had spent countless hours researching the best pickup lines

After catching up to her, he stood in front of her and said, "Did you just fart? Because you blew me away!"

But... looking at her expression, he understood he failed again.

--------

The next day, "I've lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you instead?"

.... Needless to say, another failure.

--------

But the next day, he could not find the woman anywhere. "Oh fuck! Don't tell me I scared her away!" He said with a pale face (although he doesn't really have a face).

As he was walking on the streets an interesting news caught his eye. There was a guy who was walking on the streets sexually harassing women while wearing a balls cosplay on his lower half. "Such a weird guy, but oh well, she said that there are a lot of fetishes in this world..."

Suddenly, he felt that the atmosphere changed around him. People were staring at him with weird eyes. Suddenly a woman pointed towards him, no, she was *the* woman. Police officers ran towards him while saying, "Catch that sex offender."

It was at that time, Nunu knew he fucked up. As he looked downwards he realized that... although he wore his casual t-shirt, he forgot to wear pants! And he had not been wearing any since the past few days...

"Now, now, police officers, this is a bit embarrassing but... I... I just forgot to wear-"

"SHUT UP! No excuses, you are to be arrested. Take of your mask and let us see your face!"

With a sigh, Nunu said, "I didn't want it to come to this but... MULTIPLE IRON NUTS!!!"

And with that, Nunu knocked out everyone present at the scene and escaped for his damn life.

"Phew that was close. Now where are my pants..."

At the very least, he now knew that the woman was actually disgusted by his outfit, not his pickup lines.... ok, maybe both.