Scathach_
The effort is there definitely, I can see that. But the flow of the story is wack, and if just pinballing around forcing stuff to happen for example. I told so and so to go clean, Even though they would never listen to the MC, the character just goes OKAY ANYTHING FOR YOU MY BELOVED WIFE. when in the actual show the character would just spit on them and insult them to no end and this is on the first meeting, But if you improve make the story more consistent it would be 10x better!