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"Booby trap!"

Naruto insisted. "It's called a booby trap! And I was just testing him!"

"If he fell for something like that, it would be on purpose," Shikamaru sighed, slowly letting go of Naruto.

Shit. Tricking these kids would be harder than he thought.

"Maa, maa, no need for that sort of behavior right now," he waved a hand airily. "Meet me up on the roof in five, yes?"

It would take them longer than five minutes to get up to the roof, he knew. He always asked his teams to meet him in this particular room because the stairs to the roof were on the other side of the school building. Unless they already knew shunshin. Or –

"We climbed up the side of the building," Shikamaru explained, swinging a leg over the side of the railing. "The stairs were too far away to make it in five minutes. Unless you planned this?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Climbed?"

"I did, because I'm that awesome!" Naruto yelled, jumping over and leaving a shaking tree in his wake. "But I think those two cheated. They had tape or something on their hands." He started to brush the twigs and leaves out of his hair.

"Chakra," Ino said.

Naruto paused, one hand halfway to his sandal, where several leaves had embedded themselves underneath his toes. "What's that?"

"You don't know what chakra is?" Ino slumped, one eyebrow raised exasperatedly.

Kakashi leaned forward pinched the bridge of his nose.

Oh, sensei, have mercy on my soul…

"It's that…thing…stuff…" Naruto made vague waving motions with his hands, "…right?"

Ino dropped her face into her hands. "Spiritual energy! It's the spiritual energy that all shinobi have! It's what you use to do jutsu! You'd know if you actually showed up to class instead of ditching school and playing pranks!"

Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"I guess that's one thing we'll have to teach him ASAP," Shikamaru shrugged.

Oh, good. They're thinking as a team already.

Ino looked ready to cry, but she didn't say anything. She didn't seem to begrudge Naruto for not knowing how to chakra walk – no one except for clan children learned before graduating from the Academy (although they should, in Kakashi's very justified opinion!) – as much as the fact that he didn't know what chakra even was. Kakashi didn't blame her. In the exact same situation he would have been ten times worse. Obito, at the very least, had had a passable knowledge of the Academy curriculum; he was just clumsy. Also, he had that annoying habit of thinking with his heart instead of his head. But, you know. At least he knew what chakra was.

"Yeah, but, like, what is chakra?" Naruto scratched his head.

"Naruto, I just told you!" Ino screeched.

"I know that," Naruto said, "but what is it? 'Cause, you know, how fire is, well, fire…and then Iruka-sensei said something about the sun's rays being electonetic or whatever – "

"Eletromagnetic radiation," Shikamaru supplied.

"Yeah, that," Naruto said. "And then when you drop an apple, that's gravity, and then when I kick something, that's…uh…mech...uh..."

"Mechanical energy."

"Sure. Whatever. And then chemicals are like chemical energy, right? So what's chakra?"

Shikamaru blinked. Once. Twice.

Even Ino (Screechy, as he had privately nicknamed her) seemed at a loss for words.

Kakashi, on the other hand, had an answer ready. "Chakra, my dear student, is chakratic energy."

They all blinked at him.

"...What?"

"...You just pulled that answer out of your ass, didn't you," Ino deadpanned.

Kakashi chose to respond to that by changing the subject. "Right, so, I'm sure you all already know who I am, so how about you introduce yourselves, since I don't really know much about any of you."

"What do you want us to tell you?" Ino asked.

"How about you tell us what you already know about us, and we'll fill in the gaps," Shikamaru suggested.

"But I don't know anything about you," Kakashi said.

"You probably already know our names, heights and weights, grades, and that sort of thing from the Academy files. They give those to you, right?" Shikamaru asked. "And you kind of know our personalities, too, from that earlier interaction. What else have you deduced about us?"

"Humor me," Kakashi grinned. Except no one could really see it underneath the mask.

Ino narrowed her eyes. "Why don't you go first. You look kind of sketchy."

Him? Sketchy? Really? Ah, well, he supposed so. People often told him he looked like some sort of burglar. Except that the clever ones normally didn't wear masks and actually liked to rob houses in the middle of the day while posing as delivery men and such instead of actual, well, burglars. He should know; he had been on quite a few lockpicking missions.

"My name is Kakashi Hatake," he drawled. "I like some things. I dislike some things."

"What sort of things?" Shikamaru interrupted.

"Stuff."

"And what sort of stuff?"

"Things." He silently giggled to himself. He could play this game for hours. He had played this game for hours, actually. With both Ibiki and Inoichi. And he had won, too. Now that had been just incrediblefun.

Shikamaru glared at him, then sighed. "Go on."

Aw. Boring. Oh, well. "My hobbies? I have a few hobbies, I suppose. Dreams for the future? I don't feel like telling you that. Right, your turn!"

Ino sighed.

"Ooh! Ooh! Me first! Me first!" Naruto bounced up and down, like an excited puppy. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki! I like cup ramen! I dislike the three minutes you have to wait while the ramen cooks! I dream to be the next Hokage! And my hobbies are – my hobbies are – " he trailed off, pausing. "Pranks, I guess."

Ino gave him the look. One that said, did you really just give out all this personal information to the same guy that refused to tell you anything?

"We can sit here all day," Kakashi said, "or you guys can be smart like him and just get it over with."

"I don't think it's fair that you're not telling us anything!" Ino protested. "Look, I know you're a Jonin and I'm a Genin, but we're all Konoha shinobi on the same team and my dad always said that teammates should know each other! And if you're not going to give us anything about you then…that's not fair!" she repeated.

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Look. I did tell you the truth. At this point in my career, I don't have very many likes, dislikes, hobbies, or dreams for the future, unless you count staying alive and hoping that another secret war doesn't break out," he told her cheerfully, injecting as much sarcasm into his words as possible. "Anyway…while you're technically legal adults, capable of making your own decisions as shinobi of Konoha…you're still not allowed to drink or do other special things until you're older. So I can't tell you about any of that, or the Hokage will call me in and lecture me and give me a slap on the wrist, and I really don't like getting slapped on the wrist. So go ahead. Tell me about what you do for fun. Maybe I'm looking for suggestions for self-improvement, and so far I don't think 'pranks' is proper behavior for someone of my rank."

At this, both Ino and Shikamaru raised their eyebrows at him dubiously. Ah. Evidently, their parents had told them many a horror story about the Fearsome Kakashi Hatake, Scourge of the Desk Chunin Everywhere.

"And if they were, they'd be subtle enough that everyone knew it was me but no one would be able to prove it," he added.

"All right," the girl sighed, giving in. "I'm Ino Yamanaka. I like…" Insert blush. "…umm…my friends. And I dislike bullies and…" her eyes narrowed, "…people who abandon their friends." Kakashi raised an eyebrow, before remembering the notes in her file – Used to be best friends with Sakura Haruno (Team 8), then suddenly became bitter enemies starting 6th year. Link to Sasuke Uchiha (Team 10) suspected. Keep all three of them away from each other until they've finished puberty. Her fists unclenched. "My hobbies are reading and arranging flowers and keeping up with the latest fashions. And I don't know exactly what I want to do yet, but I hope to be like my dad. Better, even."

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