These Deaths Are Crucial

I pressed the bell, but I didn't hear anyone coming to open the door.

"Where are the aunts?" I wondered, and it seems they must be out looking for me. Now I feel bad about that.

Let's just stay outside the door; they will eventually come back. I sat outside the house, feeling sleepy, so I closed my eyes.

I opened my eyes, looked around, and saw myself in my room. Rubbing my eyes, I got down from my bed.

"I have to apologize to Aunt Evenly and Emily," I can guess that I fell asleep outside the door, and either Aunt Evelyn or Emily must have brought me back and placed me on the bed.

I walked downstairs and saw my Aunt Evelyn and Emily speaking something. I was about to call them, but I heard something that made me stop.

"You know, it's scary and suffocating, the thought that he will do something stupid like Luna crossed my mind. The feeling is really suffocating, it's unbearable, so we have to do something about the rumors. I can't let the same thing happen," Aunt Evelyn speaks with a dead serious voice. This is the first time I've heard her this serious.

"I know, but you know it's too difficult to suppress the rumors. People enjoy this, so I don't think it's gonna be easy," Aunt Emily says with a helpless voice.

"Then make him drop out of the academy. Anyway, it's not like the academy is the only place he can grow. If I ask Lisa, she will personally look after him, train him."

"Don't forget Lisa is a busy woman. If she doesn't see potential in Devin, she isn't going to train him, and you know Devin's potential is not much."

"Still, it's better for him to drop out sooner or later. He might do the same thing as Luna, and I don't want that."

They know about the rumors. Yeah, how can I forget? They must have come to the academy to see me, and not finding me there, they must have inquired around and found out about the rumors.

If this is the case, then the relationship between Aunt Evelyn and Ava might have already gotten worse. I hope this relationship is still something that can be repaired.

From the novel, I knew that Ava always loves her mother but doesn't know how to express it. When she sees that her mother favors Devin more than her, she just gets jealous.

Actually, if in the novel Ava only cried when her mother died, then I might not try too much to repair the relationship. But after her mother died, there is a whole arc about Ava's guilt and regret.

After that arc, Ava became mature, and she also became a person who won't hesitate to sacrifice herself for other's happiness.

Actually, now I think my death and her mother's death must be crucial to her growth. My eyes widen as I realize something - now I think that every death in the novel is crucial. Without those deaths, the heroes of this world won't grow mature.

Yeah, all deaths are crucial. Without those deaths, heroes won't mature, and if they are weak, then the world will plunge into darkness.

Ava can't express her feelings in a proper way, and she might do something she doesn't even want to do. But after her mother's death, she is able to say anything that comes to her mind. Before, she was never able to tell Elmer that she loves him. If someone said that Ava likes Elmer, then Ava would start fighting against that person.

However, after her mother's death, she admits she loves Elmer but also refuses to be his girlfriend until she lets go of her guilt and regrets. In the last chapter of the novel, Ava is able to leave her guilt and regrets when she spends three years with her mother and Devin in Astral World, a place where deceased and living people can meet.

Anyway, one thing I can understand is that my death by suicide and Aunt Evelyn's death are necessary to make Ava grow as a person.

However, such a thing is not going to happen. Ava might die without this type of growth, but I don't care. I don't care if she grows or not; what I care about is Aunt Evelyn. I will not let her die.

I vow to protect her.