Farewell

It would be lowkey cool if you could spare me your pleasantries though.

I inwardly sighed as I looked at the stern middle aged man who sat across my hospital bed. He looked grave as he hesitated to tell me my current status.

I had gotten into an accident and had been in comatose for a few months. I could barely feel my body but I could see and hear properly.

I cannot speak so I communicated with my visitors through blinking.

The nurse who sat behind the doctor was the person who introduced that method of communication to me and my family.

Now that you speak about it, I find it weird that they are not around today.

It might be because of what the doctor would soon say to me. I bet it is bad news.

"I will be blunt. Your organs have gotten too weak, Andre. The medicine and nutrients we are supplying to you through artificial means are not enough to sustain your life. Despite monitoring your condition for a couple of months, we did not see any improvements."

The nurse lowered her head and tried to hide her emotion.

I cannot help but feel thankful. As I have been stuck in this bed for months, I have seen how the doctors and nurses treated their patients seriously.

There are times that they cannot tend to them, but it is not their fault. Truthfully, I was shocked when I first saw a few young nurses crying their hearts out because a patient failed to survive.

I guess the rumors about doctors and nurses crying whenever their patient ends up badly is true.

I tried to speak but I cannot so I soon gave up. It looks like it is my fate to die and never recover.

"If nothing changes, your body will completely collapse in a four days and it will only take your brain up to five minutes before it stops working. We know that you cannot feel anything from your body, but the next couple of days will be excruciatingly painful."

The doctor looked at me with complicated emotions. I could see that he was trying his best to maintain his calm tone and not choke with emotions. No one liked to see someone slowly die before their eyes after all.

"We told your family first before coming to you. They are not here because we asked to give us a time to properly talk about yourself. They agreed and we are now here, Andre."

The doctor bit his lips and took a deep breath as the nurse clenched her fists tightly.

"Just a year ago, a law about allowing euthanasia has passed and been confirmed legal in our country. It is to help patients avoid suffering and give them a choice to die peacefully. Andre Dela Cruz, you now have two choices."

"You either suffer for the next few days or..."

"We will perform euthanasia on you by administering a lethal dosage of drugs on your body."

The doctor's eyes was shaking. I could faintly feel the anxiety and guilt hidden within his eyes.

Despite the overbearing coldness of the world, there was still some traces of warmth within. I cannot help but be thankful that people like Doctor Jay exists in this world.

I now understood why my family was not here. If they were here, they would have interfered with my decision. Even if they knew that it would give me unimaginable pain, emotion is a frightening thing. They will definitely choose to keep me alive longer.

I do not detest them for that. I know that they just loved me that much.

"Do you want some more time to think or you have made your decision?"

Option one was always a single blink while option two opted for two blinks.

The moment I heard their proposition, I already made a decision. Their courage and resolution to face me and give me the choices earned my respect. I knew that I ought to respond with resolve in reply of their determination as people who tried to save my life.

I blinked twice.

The doctor and nurse drooped their shoulders. Based on what they heard about their patient Andre, he is a very caring and kind individual who wished nothing but joy for his family. He is a headstrong person who never liked bowing to another person nor being influenced for no concrete reason.

Just from that instant reply, the two of them understood. Andre also wished to free his family from this suffering that he unintentionally induced them to have.

Andre's decision was obvious.

"Are you... going to choose euthanasia?"

Tears now fell from the nurse's eyelids. She cannot help herself but feel emotional. The doctor's hands were also trembling but he still chose to ask.

I blinked once.

That meant yes.

"I understand."

The doctor immediately stood up as if in a hurry while the nurse followed him as well.

After a while, I could see my family appearing behind the door and rushing to me in tears. They all crowded around me, hugged me, kissed me, and cried their hearts out.

A farewell will always be painful. I now understood as some teardrops fell from my eyes.

I love them so much so I will like to end this now.

Not just for me, but for you guys as well.

The doctor soon appeared and told me how the euthanasia will be done after injecting me with anesthesia to make me fall asleep. He appeared with two other doctors and almost all nurses aside from those who were tending to patients.

I looked at my family who was crying as well as these people who have been with me in tough times. My friends visited a few days ago but none of them arrived because they knew that it is something that only the family should see.

Furthermore, it is painful to see your friend close his eyes.

Most of the nurses got affected by my family's crying as they also bawled their eyes out.

"We will now inject the anesthesia to Andre Dela Cruz."

The three doctors surrounded me as their eyes constantly moved around to make sure that nothing wrong will happen. I cannot help but smile inwardly.

Don't worry doctors. Nothing will happen. You're just injecting anesthesia after all.

After they injected me with anesthesia, they moved away and let my family approach me. It will take a few more seconds before it kicked in.

Their sadness overflowed and made the atmosphere even more gloomy. They tried to smile but it looked empty and ugly. They respected my decision and I respected theirs.

As the anesthesia made my consciousness foggy, I tried with all of my strength to move my mouth.

"Thank you for everything..."

I do not know how I managed to speak my farewell but I felt thankful for that short burst of strength. With this, I can now sleep in peace.

...

Andre Dela Cruz passed away that day with a smile on his face.