28 27. Missing

Thursday, 26th. March. 2015

Rough knocking on the front door woke me up and a throb slowly crept up, probably from drinking that bottle of wine so hastily last night.

Staring at Jin curled up to me, snoring, added to my recollection of the memory. We were both still wearing our clothes from last night, too. We must've passed out.

Again, a loud knock sounded even more urgently. I grumbled as I forced myself to get up and answer it. Just before I reached the door, Jin rolled over with a loud snore and I chuckled to myself. He must have been in a deep sleep.

"Who is it?" I called out, opening the door. The brightness blinded me for a second before I saw Tae's figure encircled by the gleam of morning light.

"Your beloved. What took so long? Hm?" Tae said. I squinted to see his unreadable expression.

"Ah, I just woke up. Sorry" I rubbed my eyes. Tae gently nudged me aside and came in, so I just closed the door behind him and stood there trying to shake my drowsiness. However, Tae didn't bother with me and headed straight over to Jin.

"Hyung, wake up. Namjoon Hyung needs you." Tae wasn't exactly his playful self, but I couldn't tell if he was upset either. I headed to the kitchen to pour a glass of water to settle my light headache.

Jin groaned loudly as Tae kept nagging him to get up, eventually giving in and sitting up.

"Huh? What does Namjoon need? "What time is it?" He asked with a scowl, which, wasn't directed at anyone in particular.

"Just call him back. He's been trying to reach you for an hour" Tae grabbed Jin's phone from beside him and shoved it in his hand. Usually, Jin would shoot back something sassy, but maybe he was still too tired to think of anything so, instead, he just looked through his phone.

Tae sat down on the edge of the bed before looking over at me as I stood at the counter, still sipping on a glass of water.

"I gotta go. Shit," Jin suddenly stood before looking around apprehensively. He became flustered and collected his things, then came over and gave me a quick peck on the forehead before he turned to leave.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, trying to figure out what was going on. But he merely brushed it off.

"Nothing you need to worry about." I felt defeated as the front door closed behind him. They had a bad habit of not telling me things, and lately, I noticed it more and more.

"Jia" Tae called my name from over on the couch. I peeked over to see him fiddling with my laptop. A song played and then he stood and came to me.

"Taee" I called back, leaning over the counter. He stopped as he reached the other end.

"Get ready for school. I'll take care of breakfast" I thought about his offer for a second. It didn't sound bad at all seeing as I wanted to get out of these clothes and shower.

"Aw, aren't you sweet," I smiled. "I won't be long."

Tae's gaze followed me as I went over to collect some clothes to change into after my shower. I would not make the same mistake as last time. Once I'd picked them up and went over to the bathroom, Tae had already started rummaging through my fridge.

Soon enough I was squeaky clean, sitting back at the counter waiting for Tae to serve the eggs and bacon he'd cooked.

"It smells delicious" I hummed as he took a seat beside me, placing both plates on the bench.

"Not as delicious as you," He replied. I stayed in place as he gently picked up a strand of my hair and smelt it. "The cherry blossom scent you use is so delectable."

I gave a small, awkward chuckle and thanked him for the meal, not sure how to respond. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but, something felt amiss with him today. Unable to discern what the source of his odd behaviour was, I opted to forget it for the time being and dig into breakfast together. I'd become used to the way he placed portions on my plate and occasionally popped them into my mouth, too. But I just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

"Tae, is everything okay?"

"Hmm, yeah. I'm just tired. Rehearsals have been tough. Could use a good night's sleep. It's hard when I'm cramped up with the other members in the dorms all the time." He sighed. Despite the memory being fuzzy, I recalled what Jin had told me last night in confidence.

"Oh, right.. it must be difficult, always having them around. And it is such a small space" It wasn't the most worrying part of what we'd discussed. But I'd made a promise not to mention anything we'd spoken of, so I wasn't about to bring it up.

"Yeah." The dejected pout that lingered pulled at my heart. Surely there was something more I could do.

"If you… ever wanted to get away for a night…" I hesitated, what was I saying?

"Hm? What was that?" Tae perked up, so I continued on with my offer.

"Ah, I mean, my couch is pretty comfy. If you wanted some time to relax…" I fidgeted as I struggled to bring myself to spit out my words and invite him to stay at my apartment to get some well-needed relaxation in.

"Are you inviting me over? That's sweet of you." The warmth his smile radiated swept away any doubt I had in his demeanour moments ago and put me at ease.

"I just… Getting a good night's sleep is important" No matter how much time I spent with him, the steady way he looked at me never failed to make me feel weak in the knees. It was effortless.

"Mm. Well, if you're offering, how about I come and stay tonight? It would be nice to get a good rest before the weekend."

"You mean for the show you have this weekend, right?" I questioned. It must have been. There was no way it meant anything else, right?

"Yeah. For the concert." Tae leisurely popped another mouthful in and chewed, going along with my suggestion.

Despite saying it was for the concert along with my inability to deduce his intentions, I still had a feeling it wasn't only for that reason. Either way, Tae planned to meet me at my place later tonight after he finished rehearsals and dropped me off at school.

During class, I overheard a few people talking about a topic that caught my attention. Niah had gone missing, and no one had seen her in a while. The police had issued a missing person report, and some speculated she'd met with foul play. I listened for a while as they discussed among themselves, theories of a serial killer being on the loose in Seoul. Or suspicions that she was involved in some shady idol escort club business and they'd kidnapped her. One even suggested that maybe she'd killed herself…

I wouldn't usually be eavesdropping on such gossip, but the stuff they were saying was crazy, so I couldn't help but feel intrigued by it. Even if it was disturbing.

Of course, I didn't believe a word of it. She probably just left Seoul or something, right? Probably not bothering to tell anyone, and the whole thing was just a misunderstanding. That was a much more rational explanation for her disappearance than being killed or abducted by an underground human trafficking ring. That's just ludicrous.

Lunch break flew by. The whole day did. Before I knew it, I was walking back home, the sun setting on the horizon reflecting another day passing by. The thought of seeing Tae tonight sparked a glimmer of excitement in me. It gave me an inexplicable thrill whenever I was around him. The note on which we left things this morning sparked my curiosity about the possibilities of where it could lead. We'd been close from the get go and he'd always left his affections to me open ended. If I were to push it, would he actually go there?

But, when I got home, the hours passed with no word from Tae. I sent him a few texts and even tried to call him, but no answer. I worried that something had happened to him. Or perhaps I'd been wrong in my assumptions and read it all wrong? What if he didn't see me as more than a friend and bailed on me? Was inviting him to stay the night too bold of me?

It was just as I was about to call for the second time when I heard a knock on the door. I put my doubt filled thoughts away, stood up, and went straight over to see if it was him.

My heart instantly relaxed at the sight of him standing there under the night sky with a bag slung over his shoulder. He hadn't bailed on me after all. But, as he pushed me aside with a short "hey" and barely made any eye contact, I felt like something was off again.

"Tae, are you alright? I tried to call you but you didn't answer" I closed the door behind him and followed over to where he had dropped his bag by my bed. He pushed both his hands through his hair as he spared a glance my way.

"Yeh. I'm fine. I'm taking a shower." He was short with me. I could hear it in his voice and it was unsettling. Something was wrong again, but before I could think of what to say, he strode past and straight for the bathroom, locking himself in.

I went over to the couch and lay down. The pattering of water running and the fan from the bathroom echoed in the silence's background. After a little while, I heard a bang and him yell Fuck. I sat up, unsure of what to do. I was worried about why he was acting so strangely. But it intimidates me at the thought of asking him. I'd never seen him like this before and didn't know what to expect. So, instead, I pushed it aside. After a short while, I heard nothing out of the ordinary, so I relaxed and just waited for him to finish showering.

I must've dozed off for a little while because when I came to, Tae was right there. I could smell his freshly showered scent as he carefully propped me up and slid behind me so that I was resting in his lap. My eyelids were heavy and my head drowsy, but I peered up at him through half-open eyes. He was gently running his fingers through my hair. As he stared blankly out the window, something distracted his gaze. Should I ask or not…

"How are your headaches?" He didn't waver from the window as he spoke.

"I don't get them as often… but lately," I hesitated. Why was he suddenly asking about those?

"Tell me" he said as he looked down at me, his gaze attentively shifting focus on me.

"Lately I've been getting dreams… Strange ones. They scare me," I admitted. A shiver ran over my skin at the thought of the girl in the crimson dress, how palpable her pain was. Tae's expression didn't budge, unreadable, but his hands slipped from atop my head and over my shoulders, massaging the accumulated tenseness out of my muscles.

"When did the dreams start? What are they about?" The way he asked was bordering on demanding. He was stern, but I closed my eyes, trying to let the soothing way he kneaded my upper arms calm me as I recalled the dreams for him.

"A girl wearing a beautiful red velvet gown. But her heart was bleeding. She was on the floor, crying…. Crying from the hurt she was carrying. Something awful happened to her. Something painful and traumatic enough to shatter her soul. Those... feelings… when I dream, I can feel them too." I swallow thickly, anticipation filling me as remnants of her pain trickle over me.

"Was this before or after Namjoon Hyung tried to fuck you?" His harsh tone ripped through me. My breath caught in my throat, but I kept my eyes closed, swallowing thickly again. His grip on my shoulders tightened.

"Tae... What's going on with you? This isn't like you.." I murmured, torn between not wanting to stir him up anymore and struggling not to be pushed any further by him. Was he triggered by Namjoon? Was he stressed out about the concert and rehearsals like he'd said earlier?

"Forget it. Let go of all your worries and give yourself to me, Jia." The words and conviction he spoke with left me dumbfounded. First, he comes late, behaving strangely and asking me personal questions. And now, he's demanding I forget it all and… I didn't understand what was going on.

"Forget it? Why are you saying all of this? You're not making any sense right now…" I couldn't hold back anymore. Tae broke into a bittersweet laugh. It only confused me further.

"Why?" He echoed my question, almost mockingly. "You really don't know how special you are to me, do you?" I sat up, out of his grip and stared into those swirling brown eyes of his. Tae tipped his head aside, waiting. Gaze studying me heavily. I couldn't stand it anymore. All the confusion, not knowing what he was thinking. What any of them were truly thinking?

"Special how? If there's more to it, then tell me. You can't hide it from me forever. I know there are things you're all keeping from me. Just tell me already!" Emotions welled up inside, but any anger I had just dissipated under his intensity, leaving me feeling weak and broken.

"It's for your own sake that you don't know. It's all to protect you. Don't you see that?" Tae clicked his tongue, as though speaking to a stubborn child.

"No, I don't. So you're admitting you knew me before now? Is it the same for all of you? What's going on here?" My voice trembled, emotions running high. He still wouldn't give me any solid answers…

"Just shut up and kiss me."

Tae slipped his hands over the side of my neck and pulled, slipping his tongue into my mouth. The domineering way it swirled over mine, devouring me whole. Heated tears carrying the remnants of frustration and helplessness mingled, spilling down my cheeks as I submit to his assault on my heart. He was the one to part, leaving only the tiniest space as his gaze connected tenaciously with mine.

"Give yourself to me. I'm not asking." His thumbs gently brushed over my cheeks, wiping away my tears. I'm paralysed, unable to pull away from his cupped hold of my face. The pressure coming from him was overbearing.

"Tae.." A raspy breath escaped my throat, his eyes still connected with my own. Noting my uncertainty, he took advantage of it, kissing me more fiercely than before, as though desperate to prove his want for me. The turmoil swirling in my heart became numb, replaced with a conflicting desire. If I do as he says, will it all go away? Will it lay my pain and confusion to rest?

His touch trailed down my collarbone, further down, grazing my breasts on the way to grasp around my mid. My body collided firmly with his, forced to straddle his lap as he pulled me closer. My skin ripples with tingles as his hardness rolled through our clothes. Muffled moans between messy, needy kisses. It's all happening so quickly. Resisting the tide becomes impossible, like walking out into the ocean against the waves. Instead, I turn around and let them push me to shore.

Tae pulls back only for the fabric of my shirt to be lifted off. The air hits my exposed skin, causing goosebumps to prickle over my chest, the glint in his gaze as he directs it over my bare skin. I fumble as I reach for the hem of his shirt to take it off, too. He easily slips it off, licking at the side of his lip as we're left sitting shirtless together.

"Jia, you know you're mine, right?" The eagerness in his eyes makes me weak. My heart is pounding so fast in my chest.

"I am..?" I faltered.

""Mm. Always have been, and always will be" Tae broke into a smirk. The sheer tenacity radiating from him was overbearing. If it was a surrender that he wanted from me, then he'd won. As his hands trailed down to my shorts, I followed his lead and raised my hips so he could slip them down. I leaned back, letting him take them off completely. Was this okay? Should I be doing this?

"Tae.. What're we.. I don't.." I was so caught up in the rush I lost my words. Seeing him before me, slipping down his sweats and underwear, too. His hard cock popping out heavy against the honey kissed skin of his toned abdomen. It was huge, thick, just sitting in front of me. Pre-cum was leaking from the tip, asking to be tasted.

"Come here baby, it's okay. There's no escaping my love for you" Tae slips his fingers between mine, intertwining them. Pulling me up on my knees so I'm straddling him again. He gently steadied me, taking care as he guided me, the other hand lining himself up, teasingly pushing the tip of his length in me.

The stretch of him as I pushed down, taking him in, only made me want him more. My heart raced impossibly quicker, his gaze not leaving me, even for a moment as he lowered me further down onto him, sighs of satisfaction leaving his sweet parted lips.

"Does it hurt? Are you okay?" Tae asked tenderly, the change weakening me further. He held back a moan that threatened to escape him. As I slowly, carefully, took more of him in, it just felt so perfect. Like his cock belonged inside me, completed me. Why had I even hesitated before? He was right… I was his.

"You're so big, Tae, it feels so good" I gave a small squeeze to his hands, which he returned before letting go and grabbing the curve of my sides level with my belly button. Seeing how his hands held so much of me just from their sheer size was such a turn on.

"Nearly there, good girl, taking my cock so well," Tae breathed. The sultry depth of his voice was making me weaker. He handled it exceptionally well. The deeper it went, the more I wanted to ride him. It was tantalising, having to be so careful.

"Ahh. Tae, it's so deep…" I nibbled at my lip before looking down to see most of his dick wasn't even in me. The sight of how thick he was and how tight I looked around him was a sight to behold.

"Stay still, okay, baby? I'll be gentle with your precious little pussy, promise." Tae's gaze shifted down to between my legs, at where he was near half sheathed in me. He let out a breathy moan as he dragged out a bit. We both watched in awe at the rhythm of him methodically stretching me out and the way my walls clung to him. Little by little, he pulled out and pushed me down by the hips again.

Moans and breathy gasps mingled as we rolled our hips, picking up the pace and worked it deeper, as I rode the tip of him where I felt safe.

As soon as I could take most of him, I laced our fingers together again. Tae watched, mesmerised by the way I'm coming undone on top of him. Eyes blown out, lower lip caught sexily between his teeth. That assertive, domineering aura switches to a hungry craving, as though he'd been starving for me for such a long time.

"Lay down baby, just relax. You're always such a good girl for me. Let me fuck you nice and slow." Tae noticed I was getting tired and lay me down on his chest. My legs spread to either side of him, making it easy for him to reach deeper. With one hand, he cupped my ass, opening me up perfectly for his cock. The other hand possessively clutched my head to his bare chest.

I clung to him as he leisurely fucked into me at his own pace. Being so utterly full of him, clit rubbing against his lower abdomen at every thrust, was forcibly building my climax.

"Tae, m' coming," I weakly mumbled, feeling my body quiver and clench around him.

"Yeah? You know this tight little pussy is all mine, right?" His deep voice hummed in my ear as he slowly pushed his entire cock into me.

"Gonna fill you up after you cum for me" He went on, leaving it there, waiting for my body to go lax before picking up the pace again. I lay there, as he made good on him promise, working my body to reach his own climax. Deep, slow, and thoroughly. He let out the sweetest, raspy moan and filled me with his twitching cock to the brim with his warm, sticky cum. Exhaustion overtook me.

He softened, but barely. Deciding to keep it in me, nice and snug, semi-hard and unmoving, we lay there together in each other's arms. He reached for one of the blankets and pulled it over us and softly kissed my forehead.

"I love you… Tae," I mumbled, words tumbling out all sleepy and in a fucked out daze. Feebly I tried to look up, but too weak to move. He tilted my head and peered down at me, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear and kissing my lips.

"I love you too, baby. More than you'll ever know. Want me to sing you a lullaby?" I gave a nod before relaxing and snuggling into him, falling into the deep swells of him.

As the enticing melody floated, visions crossed my mind. Lucidly, I was taken back to a familiar scene. One of a hospital courtyard. For such a long time, the person beside me had a blurred face, but the picture become more clear. And for the first time, I saw him.

It was Tae Hyung.