18 17. Taboo

Wednesday, 18th. March. 2015.

Woke up early today, hoping to get a run in before any of the boys arrived like yesterday. But, just as I was about to leave the house, I bumped into Hoseok, who was about to ring my doorbell.

"Hey, morning," I greeted him. Only for him to give me a confused look.

"Morning. Where were you off to?" He asked, glancing down to see I was in a pair of black leggings and a hoodie. Not exactly appropriate clothing to be heading to class.

"I was about to go for a run. Um, you can wait here if you want. I won't be long…" I offered, but as his brows furrowed, I changed my mind. "Or you could come with me."

"Yeah, alright. It's been a while since I did a morning run," Hoseok replied, as though coming out of contemplation. The two of us headed down to the nearest park. The sign read 'Jang-Jae' as we walked past the low fence and towards the stretching area.

"So, how'd you get stuck with babysitting duty this morning?" I joked. The two of us began to stretch out our calves by holding one foot from behind.

"I had free time today, but it wasn't just that. After I heard what happened, I got worried." He said plainly.

"I wish Yoongi would stop going around telling everyone…" I averted my gaze before changing my position to a side stretch, arms raising in the air and leaning sideways.

"Pfft" Hoseok raised a brow, still mirroring my stretches, "What's the alternative? You silently shoulder all the bullshit all by yourself? C'mon, let's be real here."

"I know. You're right. But I just hate feeling like a burden to others." I switched sides, leaning the other way as I carried on. "I'm sure you guys have enough going on as it is. Don't need the extra drama."

"I'm going to take offence to that. Do you think we can't handle a bit of trouble? Please, this is nothing compared to half the things we've been through as a group. Stress less and trust us." I couldn't help but feel at ease by his confidence. Maybe I did just need to lean into it and not worry as much.

As soon as the two of us were warmed up, we set off at a steady pace around the park. Hoseok had a certain air about him when he ran. I'd gotten distracted and upon catching me looking, he asked what was wrong. I tried to laugh it off, but he started teasing me. In my fluster I'd playfully pushed him, which soon turned into both of us jokingly trying to avoid being pushed by the other as we ran.

Seeing as our run had somehow turned into a play date we took the shorter path which had us returning to the starting line within twenty minutes.

After that, we calmed down and stretched again before heading back to my place. Hoseok hadn't even broken a sweat at the run, which had led me to believe he was fitter than I'd originally thought. Then again, I hadn't noticed until this morning, anyway. Not until I'd seen the sexy way he smirked at me while chasing after me through the park. He was trying to get me back for making him nearly fall over in a bush.

After I got out of the shower, fully dressed and ready, I couldn't help but to curiously take a peek at Hoseok as he was lying on the couch, busy playing on his phone while waiting for me. I noticed part of the hem of his shirt had risen up exposing some skin. On closer perving I saw he in fact had abs, and they were solid. There must've been something he did to keep in such lean shape. I quickly looked away as he glanced up from his phone.

"Jia? Are you ready yet?" He called out.

"Yeah! I'm ready, let's go," I called back. Phew, lucky he didn't notice. I don't know what has gotten into me lately. Maybe just constantly being surrounded by boys was really testing my promiscuous side. It was dangerous indeed.

On the walk to class, Hoseok and I talked about some of our favourite songs at the moment. We both had really similar tastes in music, so we excitedly exchanged recommendations. He told me he'd come back and get me again after I finished and left me at my class.

It was a double block, so it lasted an hour and a half. During which I stayed focused until the last thirty minutes. Lately, there'd been so much happening that it was impossible not to have my thoughts wander elsewhere.

What was the possibility of Hoseok being my past boyfriend…? At this point, he seemed to treat me more like a little sister, but it still wasn't enough to cross him off the list just yet.

Today was the first chance we had to spend time together, just the two of us… He was so easygoing, I felt so comfortable around him. That and, knowing myself... if he'd made a move on me, I absolutely would've gone with it. I could see myself having fallen for him easily…

The bell rang, snapping me from my thoughts, so I gathered my things and went to find Hoseok. I spotted him waiting a little way down the hall. A few people from my class glanced at me as I walked toward him, but I ignored it.

"Are you ready to head off?" He asked, sliding his side bag around behind him so that he could walk beside me.

"Yep, I'm ready," I replied, relaxing as he slung an arm around my shoulder.

"Oh, wait!" He exclaimed. "Is it okay if we stop by the agency first? I need to pick up a few things before I go back to the dorms."

"Sure, I don't have anywhere to be." It sounded like it could be fun, so I agreed.

"Cool, it won't take long. Let's go" Hoseok and I headed off to the agency together. It wasn't far, so we arrived in no time.

When we entered the building, he led me down to a large room in the basement. From the glass mirrors lining the walls and the polished boards on the floor, I knew it was a dance practice studio.

"Wow, so this is where you guys do your dance practices?"

"Yeah. Why? Does dance interest you?" Hoseok hummed, eyes lighting up with intrigue.

"Yeah, I wonder what it's like, all of you together, dancing. I haven't seen your performances yet so I'm curious"

"Oh really? I can show you one," Hoseok replied, sporting a cheeky grin on his face.

"Please, Yess" I smiled.

"Okay, hold on. First, we need music" Hoseok walked over and turned on the sound system then pulled out his phone. I squatted down and hugged my knees as I waited from the sidelines of the dance space.

"Alright," Hoseok said, stretching a little before pressing play and putting his phone on the table. I could feel his energy turn on strong like a switch as I cheered for him and the music started playing.

Popping, locking, the movements of his body were so fluid. Smoothly, he danced to the rhythm, leaving me awestruck. I sat in a cross-legged position on the floor as I watched Hoseok, the cheeky smirks he'd sent me as he went. It felt like a special show just for me. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, absolutely entranced by his energy and swag.

As the song ended, he ran his hand through his brown hair to push it out of his face, lightly breathing but not seeming to have broken a sweat at all.

"Omg! You're such a talented dancer! Hoseok!" I clapped, calling out to him excitedly from where I sat. He poked his tongue out playfully and walked over to me. The next song had come on. It was slow RnB vibes.

"C'mon, your turn baby" He teased, cheekily reaching down and grabbing my hand to pull me to my feet.

"Ahhh, really?! I don't dance, you know," I laughed, knowing I was a worse dancer than him and wanting to save myself from embarrassment.

"It's alright, I'm here. I'll guide you," Hoseok smiled, pulling me over to the middle of the dance floor with him. I let him sway me from side to side by the hand, letting him take the lead, letting him pull me closer and spin me around. He smiled as I giggled, moving to hold me by the side. I gasped as he caught me in a dip. I felt his arm around me firmly. Time slowed down. I held my breath, expecting him to pull me back up but, his gaze lingered tenderly with mine. As though caught in the moment like I was. He bit at his lip. A raspy breath escaped me.

Was he about to kiss me?

A sharp pain shot through my head, causing me to wince. Hoseok instantly pulled me upright again.

"Jia, are you okay?" He asked, his hands resting on my shoulders. I could see him peering at me with worry as I clutched my head. The pain still throbs badly.

"Ah. "It really hurts, I don't know." I said through deep breaths. I scrunched my eyes shut, hoping it would help. Holding my head with pressure to cancel out the pain.

"Just breathe." I felt Hoseok pull me closer and hold me against him with one arm. I felt him walk me over slowly, then he stopped.

"Joon, are you in your studio right now?" Hoseok paused. I did as he said and tried to focus on breathing, but the pain wasn't going away.

"Yeah, I'm down in the practice room with Jia. She's having a severe headache right now. Can you come down?" The rasp in Hoseok's voice made him sound so worried. I felt the throbbing ease up, enough to release the pressure of my grip.

"Okay, see you soon" Hoseok moved again, slipping his phone in his pocket, then another arm wrapped around me.

"It's not as bad now," I told him between breaths.

"It's alright, just try to relax," I felt his hand cup the back of my head gently. Eyes still closed, I let myself fall into the comfort of him, the ache getting less and less as the seconds ticked by. From across the room, heavy footsteps pounded before Joon's voice echoed as he called out to us.

"Hey, what happened?" Urgency laced in his naturally deep tone. I stayed quiet.

"We were dancing and then she suddenly got another one of those headaches you guys warned me about," Hoseok told him.

"I'm okay…" I mumbled, voice muffled against Hoseok's shirt.

"We should probably get her home so she can rest," Hoseok said.

"Yeah, right. I'll call Sejin. See if he can drop us off there," Joon said before making a phone call. The throbbing had finally subsided, so I let go of my head, allowing my hands to fall to my side. A wave of exhaustion hit me.

"Alright, he's getting the car and meeting us out the front," Joon said. I opened my eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the bright lights of the room. I then slowly turned. Hoseok noticed and loosened his grip slightly on me as to let me turn.

"Jia, does it still hurt?" Joon asked, taking a step closer to me and crouching down to my level to get a better look at me.

"Mm, only a little. It's mostly gone… I just feel weak is all," I told him. I rubbed at my eyes, still trying to reorientate myself.

"Here, put your arms around my shoulders. I'll carry you to the car" Hoseok stepped around in front of me and leaned down a bit.

"Really? Are you sure?" I hesitated, but Hoseok raised a stern brow as though to say, I'm not taking any chances. Therefore, be a good girl and do as I say.

So, the moment I clung to his shoulders, he picked me up with ease, one arm under my legs, the other around my mid. I buried my head into his shoulder as we left. It was quiet between the three of us as we made our way outside and into the car.

Even though I hadn't wanted to be treated like a baby, the truth was that my body felt incredibly weak and I was grateful they'd been there when they were. As I sat there in Hoseok's lap in the car, I felt a pull in my chest at the thought of it. That pain was so much worse than any I've ever experienced before, it scared me.

Soon enough, we arrived. Hoseok carried me out of the car with him. Joon had grabbed something out of the car boot before catching up with us.

"Home sweet home" As I peered up, I saw Hoseok finally break into a small smile. I gave a little eager nod, also glad to be home.

"I think I'm alright to walk now. You can put me down… I'm probably heavy, no?" I said. Hoseok gave a small giggle.

"Yeah, I guess I could put you down after we get up the stairs." He hitched me further up, readjusting his grip on me before climbing up the stairs.

"Hoba, I had a spare bag with some clothes. Jia, if it's okay, I'd feel better if you let us stay. Just to make sure you're alright," Joon said, bag slung over his shoulder as he caught up with us as we reached the top of the stairs.

"Umm, yeah, I guess so. Honestly, I'd feel better if you stayed…" I admitted. Joon's gaze softened. The three of us made our way into my apartment together, Hoseok finally letting me down as we got inside.

I slipped my shoes off and went over and collapsed right in the middle of the couch. Luckily it was already folded out.

"Your place is nice," Hoseok complimented as he looked around.

"Yeah, it's like a little slice of peace," Joon added, dropping the bag on the floor and joining me on the couch down beside my legs.

"You need a roommate?" Hoseok joked as he came and slid over to sit just above where my head lay.

"I dono," I giggled, rolling over onto my back, "it's only one bedroom, though." There was a calm that blanketed itself over the three of us as we'd settled together.

"This couch is basically a spare bed" Hoseok hummed, slipping his hand under my head and lifting it to rest in his lap. A small silence passed as I relaxed into the soothing way he was playing with my hair.

"Can I tell you guys something?" I looked up at Joon, who'd been staring out the window at the setting sun. He glanced back at me, nodding.

"I got into a bad accident in September 2014. And, because of it I lost a year's worth of memories. That year I studied here in Seoul, the same major I'm doing now. But apart from that, I can't remember anything else."

Joon had repositioned himself more comfortably, lifting my legs across his thighs, gently massaging at my calves while he listened.

"I don't know the exact reason I'm getting these headaches, but I have a feeling it might have something to do with my injury or my memory loss…. Which I still find strange seeing as I never had a problem with them the entire year I spent recovering…" At this point I was just thinking out loud, but, after everything that'd happened today…

I knew they had my best interests at heart. Whatever the reason, it didn't matter at this point. My heart was telling me they were people I could put my trust in. From the beginning, those feelings have been there, but as time goes on, those feelings are only consolidating more and more.

"That must have been really hard…" Joon hesitated, probably caught between wanting to say something but not wanting it to sound insincere.

"I won't lie, it was. But, that's when I found your music. It helped me a lot… So… Thank you for doing what you do." I closed my eyes, laid my head back on Hoseok's lap, and smiled. Hoseok gave a small laugh.

"You're really just gonna say something so sentimental and leave it like that?" Hoseok asked softly, but bemused. I gave a small nod, still smiling.

"I think my heart just exploded," Joon sighed. I felt his grip on my calf shake as though he was shaking his head. I imagined the small smile on his face. Was he smiling right now?

The three of us spent the night quietly together, not long after I'd fallen asleep, exhaustion from my headache making it hard to stay awake.