10. A Thousand Times Over

Wednesday, 11th. March. 2015

I had about twenty minutes to spare before I needed to leave for my morning class. Because I was ready to leave, I slumped down on the couch and relaxed while I wasted some time.

My thoughts travelled to yesterday, the guy I'd met at the coffee shop on my first day here. Namjoon. I feel tingles as I recall the way he whisper rapped, sharing some of the music from a mixtape he was currently working on.

He seemed so sexy, even last night as I climbed into bed I tossed and turned, struggling not to think about him. But.. I remembered part of our conversation that had slipped my mind.

He was an idol. I quickly pulled out my phone and searched for a picture of his idol group. I really don't know why I hadn't done it sooner. Then again, I wasn't overly concerned with how Artists looked, it was always about the music.

As soon as I found a picture of Bangtan Sonyandan I felt like I'd been instantly left dumbfounded.

What the hell.

I… Knew all of them! As I glanced over each member, I recognized faces I had seen recently.

Holy shit. Okay, is this weird?

My mind became blank as I tried to comprehend this information. The first thing that clicked was the situation concerning Jungkook. The reason he always had girls swooning was that he was an Idol.

And! Tae and Jimin were his band members… also idols.

My head spins.

They were just as much a girl trap as Jungkook was!

The piano guy was there too… Yoongi.

Hoseok…

The last one left me in awe. Jin.

Most of them were either classmates or went to our University so, it was still weird but rational.

But Jin, he was someone I'd met back in my hometown, long before any of this. I struggled to try and make any kind of connection, and, after it started to hurt my head I decided to just chalk it up as a coincidence. What else could I do?

Upon glancing at the time on the top corner of my phone screen I realised I needed to leave my place so I grabbed my bag and headed out.

My first class went by quickly, and I was just about to leave when I got a message. When I checked, I saw it was from Tae and Jimin. They were inviting me to have lunch with them. I wanted to go and meet them but felt wheezy at the thought of attracting any more attention from spiteful girls.

Damn it why did they have to be Idols ?! I felt conflicted, but, my gut was telling me it wasn't worth the trouble. As much as I liked them I just wanted to avoid putting myself in the line of fire. High school was bad enough and I didn't want a repeat of that.

I replied and told them I couldn't and that I was busy, making sure to apologise and thank them for the offer. I felt my heart sink as I walked alone down the hallway, choosing to have lunch off campus to avoid being seen by the boys or anyone else.

But, just before I'd made it to the door to exit the building I felt myself being pulled back with force and shoved into an empty classroom. It all happened so fast and before I knew it I was cornered, I felt my stomach drop. Two of the girls I noticed as being the ones to confront me last week, but, the other two I didn't.

"I'm pretty sure we told you to stay away from our Jungkookie. What do you think you're doing?" The one with black hair was the same one who'd confronted me initially, she appeared to be the one with the sharpest tongue.

"Last time I checked sitting next to him isn't staying away from him? Are you fucking dumb?" The Brunette from beside her shouted aggressively.

"He was the one that sat next to me?" I knew reasoning with them was hopeless but what other choice did I have? They'd cornered me in a classroom and the space between us was shrinking. Tension growing. I wasn't exactly a fighter..

"Whatever, as if he would, he could have anyone he wanted. So, why the fuck would he bother with you? Make it make sense." They all laughed, I was left without anything to say. After another moment of their daunting stares one of them gave an irritable sigh.

"Look, seriously, don't fucking talk to him again. We aren't going to be as nice next time." She warned. I could tell she meant it.

I held my tongue and gave a short nod. Immediately after the door closed behind them, I breathed deeply. But, I wasn't ok. After waiting a moment to make sure they were long gone I ducked out of the room, down the hall and up the stairs. The door leading to the outside fire stairwell caught my eye halfway up. So, I retreated to the balcony, where it was quiet.

I closed the door behind me, instantly met with a view outlooking the campus and city buildings over the solid concrete balustrade. My body felt weak, I dropped down onto the step, still shaken up from the confrontation. The feeling of tears overwhelmed me. I clung to my knees and lowered my face into my lap before they spilt.

A small moment passed before a voice caught me off guard.

"So much for some peace and quiet."

I raised my head, not expecting anyone else to be here but, the Piano guy stood up from behind the wall on the lower platform of the stairs. Why had he been sitting there? What was his name again? Yoongi?

His eyes widened, biting at his lower lip as he saw the state of me. Even so, my tears didn't stop. I was still so shaken. I buried my head back into my lap, hoping he'd just go away.

Another moment passed, the only sound filling the silence was my ugly sobbing. Then, a presence sat beside me. Quietly, carefully. It was gentle, almost unbelievably so. He softly placed his hand on top of my head and guided my face into his lap. The way he slowly patted my hair was so soothing. I cried harder, not knowing what to do, giving in to this awkward moment and stayed there with my face huddled against the black fabric of his ripped jeans. Letting him silently soothe me.

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Memories - Yoongi's Piece:

Present day

After crying her eyes out, Jia left me sitting by myself out here. She was quick to apologise and thank me for letting her cry all over my jeans. The second she'd gathered herself she rushed off looking awkward a hell. I didn't blame her.

But, the place she'd been only moments ago, the ghost of her in my arms remains. It's taunting me. I thought I'd made up my mind. Let her go.. yet, in the moment she tuned to leave, I'd nearly called out for her to stay.

It took everything I had to stop myself. To not fucking grab her and hold her close. Kiss her tears away like I used to.

At that moment it hit me.

Even if I did that, the 'her' of our past was gone.

It served as a reminder. The reason I'd let go the first time.

I can't bring myself to let her go a second time.

Not again.

I won't make the same mistakes this time around.

Even if I have to start from nothing.

I'll do it all again a thousand times over.

Notes:

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