The Divorce
In fairy tales, when prince charming and the princess tied the knot that means they will live happily ever after but I bet to disagree.
Marriage ain't the ending... It is most likely the beginning of a new chapter.
Why?
Well, because if fairy tales are true, why am I here?...
Why my husband for 5 years is asking me for divorce? He ain't being forced into this marriage! This is a mutual agreement.
He's the one who asks me.
I know I am not the first girl in his heart but he did love me at some point, right?
The whole time we were together we didn't fight or argue about anything. We go out on a date every week like normal couples. Having sex once or twice a week except during my monthly period.
We don't have kids yet but that is because we agreed not to have one yet since we are both busy with our careers.
I know he's contented with what we have and I can never be more happy.
My train of thought stopped when I heard my husband's calm voice.
"Alice" he called and I lift my head to meet his gaze.
Gabriel, my husband.
The man who makes my heart tremble when I first laid my eyes on him. His manly voice suits very well with his manly features.
His soul-gazing brown eyes are under his hazelnut shape eyelids.
His pointy nose bumps into mine every time he kisses me.
His broad shoulder makes any shirt and jacket he wears flow elegantly in his well-chiseled body. His huge arms make any woman melt in his embrace. His warm hands make you feel secure with every touch.
And his thin pinkish lips give me warmth every time he said that he loves me.
"You don't have to decide today. You can take your time." Gab said still in a casual tone
But that was all in the past because now all I can see is the cold gaze in his eyes, hurtful words on his lips and his huge back every night before I close my eyes.
I grab the papers in front of me and stare at them as if I am reading them when in fact I can't focus on a single word that is written on it.
"Believe me, it wasn't my intention. I didn't plan any of this but...it just happen..." he sigh and lightly scratch the back of his right ear. This shows that he's not having a good time with our conversation right now.
He pauses and places his hand on the table. Contemplating. Organizing his thoughts, maybe.
I also kept my silence while waiting.
For a reason.
For an excuse.
Or maybe I am waiting for him to take back his words and say that he is just pranking me though I know he is not the type of guy that finds pranking someone like this amusing or even funny.
He cleared his throat, "She's back." he said breaking the deafening silence, "Alison is back."
It feels like a bomb just exploded between us and hit my whole being with flying shrapnel leaving me drenched in my blood, helpless and very much dead.
"Believe me I tried to resist--"
He wasn't able to finish what he was about to say when I grab the pen on the table and sign the papers.
I didn't need him to finish whatever he was going to say, there were just excuses and there is no point in hearing them!
I don't need them!!!
I exactly know who is Alison and I know how important her in his life.
I know how she owns the biggest chunk in my husband's heart since she is the first love and nothing can ever beat the first. Nothing can ever beat the original.
I don't want to compete. Besides, there will be no competition because I know that I'll be defeated with just one swift attack.
She's perfect in every way. From her soft wavy brunette lux to her naturally long lashes, almond shape eyes, brown iris, kissable red lips and don't get me started with her goddess-like figure. She's not thin or fat. She got the right curves as if sculpted by a well-skilled sculptor. Long legs, arms. The only thing I may be ahead of her is my skin tone if you prefer a lighter shade but even with her skin tone, you can still see how soft they were.
"How long the process will take after this?" I bluntly asked with the most casual voice that I could muster though my insides are all trembling involuntarily.
"Almost a year. Three months at the least" he said
"Ah," I nodded and carefully place the pen beside the document. "can you at least stay here till the divorce is granted by the court or at least after my exhibit? I don't want the guests being interested in my failed marriage than my paintings." I said and smile vaguely
"S-sure" Gab agreed
"thanks. So, just tell me the schedule for the settlement oh, and if the counselor asks us the reason for the divorce we could just simply say that the feeling is mut-tual", I almost choked up saying that word because I know deep inside of me that it is a light year away from the truth.
I gather the remaining strength that I could muster and finished what I was about to say, "that we couldn't work out our marriage and we are so preoccupied with our careers." I get up from my seat to head back to my studio.
We owned a simple two-story house in a decent subdivision with 3 bedrooms. We decided to acquire this house at the beginning of our marriage since we are only planning to have a small family consisting of me, him, and two kids. Preferably 1 boy and 1 girl but since we are not planning to have kids sooner or later I decided to make one of the rooms to be my work area. My little studio.
I passed by Gab's side while making my way to my studio.
"Wait" he grabbed my wrist, "Are you mad?"
What a stupid question! What?! Are you expecting me to be jumping for joy!?
But of course that remains inside, instead I just give him a comforting smile and lightly shook my head, "No. I am not mad. Not even the slightest" I lied, "I know how you tried to be faithful with our marriage but I can't let you stay if your heart is with someone else."
I am broken, shuttered even but deep inside I know these words are the right thing to say because that is the truth.
Gabriel is a very thoughtful and loving man. He never lay his hands on me. He never forces me on anything that I am not comfortable doing even if it restrains him on something he really wants sometimes. Maybe that's the real reason why I cannot really get mad at him right now.
I may not be enough for him. Maybe he is really too good for someone like me.
I lean down to him and give him a peck on his right cheek and I felt him flinch as soon my lips touched his skin.
I cannot deny that this small gesture tore me up inside.
It hurts a lot!!!
It hurts that he finds my presence revolting even after being married to me for 5 long years.
He loosen his grip and I took that opportunity to snatch my hand back.
"I better get going. I have a lot to finish." I just said.
He didn't respond so I stride away from him because I know that I already reach my limit. My walls are going to crumble if I stayed a bit longer.
I head straight to my workroom and shut the door behind me. I really tried so hard not to slam the door. I don't want him to get an idea of what I am really feeling right now.
Why?
I already lost in my fight for love and I can't lose my pride as well.
And as soon as the door shut, my waterworks broke filling my eyes with overflowing tears.
I want to stop because I know my tears are falling in vain. He's not going to change his mind because he doesn't love me anymore.
He doesn't.
He never did.
I stayed in that position until my legs lose their remaining strength. Until my heart exhaust my body.
There I remained sobbing quietly on the floor inside the cold dark room until I hear Gab's car drive off.