Patient A-12's Simulation

The white light was a piercing beacon that simultaneously with the neon blue light prohibited anyone from pondering or contemplating any thought. I am lying in an austere room, with a matte uniform worn by the other inmates. Inmates provide a context of prison, however, this place is a mental institution. Everything's insight was silver, grey, white, and blue. A lack of anything visually appealing causes one to lose interest in life.

I was waiting, but at the same time always running.

Suddenly a nurse came into the room. She was different from the other nurses I saw. She was mediocre in appearance. Her skin was white with a tint of peach, her hair was blond with a white streak white as snow, and her eyes were blue as a lifeless shower. Her skin tone and hair looked very repugnant. Her mannerisms were also.

"You can't read that," she said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you don't have the Lexile range to read it!" she snapped.

"I don't see an issue with a challenge."

"The doctors and I do. You will be placed on a newly pioneered simulation."

"Any treatment that is newly pioneered seems skeptical. I have the right to say no and leave."

"How unfortunate for you. It will be shortly"

She proceeded to prepare for injecting a needle into me. I never felt anything for a while but then for the first time I felt fear. I squirmed, and squirmed, and squirmed, and squirmed, and squirmed, and squirmed. The whole time I didn't squirm, and squirmed, and squirmed, and squirmed, and squirmed, and squirmed. I can't move, my body is under a form of paralysis.

Suddenly I couldn't see the fluorescent lights, I could see darkness, I tried to stay conscious, but everything became nothing.

A blue was flickering. I woke up in a different room with more lighting. I was tied to a leveled surface and I couldn't move my head. I saw a bright white fluorescent light that was the whole ceiling. I groaned. I screamed and screamed but no noticeable noise came out of my head. My head was in agony due to the light. I heard the nurse's voice.

"Hello I am Dr. Else Shit and I will be managing this simulation patient A-12," said Dr. Shit.

"Ha ha ha!" I laughed uncontrollably.

Suddenly the light became bright as the dark fires of hell. It was agony to unbearable to explain

"That is not true humor A-12. To be a member of the new order you must be logical," said Dr. Shit.

"Please stop," I asked.

"I may not be able to do so A-12. You will learn to be logical, homogenous, and average. You will be efficient, not sufficient. You will undergo any metamorphosis."

Suddenly the lights became so bright my head felt a buzz. I became lightheaded and then everything turned blacker than my heart.

I woke up in a room so peculiar that only my deep subconscious can create. I woke up on a narrow long matt on the ground. The floor was a jade-colored tile. The walls looked like a dojo. Blue and Black paper lamps lined the ceiling. I stood up with sea legs. I walked right off my bedding and down some steps. My face suddenly lightened when I saw a small pond-like pool with rose petals. Besides, it was a pair of clothing and rudimentary toiletries. Before I entered the pool I saw my reflection. Somehow I didn't notice the fact that I was naked. I shrugged at the sight of my body shaped like a decaying skeleton.

The bath felt somehow like a renewing experience. It could be compared to the feeling of a priest splashing holy water onto his parishioners. I dried myself and wore the clothes provided. It was a red kimono with a pair of blue hakama. Sadly I had difficulty tying the obi. I left through the front entrance not knowing what lies before me.

The doors open to a different world of a room. In the center of it was a woman frozen as the north pole. Her skin was fair as snow, her eyes were cold as ice, and her lips were grey as a storm. Her raven hair was parted in the middle and was done into two coiled high buns, her neck was adorned with austere silver hoops (which made her appear taller), she wore pearl chinoiserie earrings, a nose ring, and she wore a pearl necklace. Her dress was iridescent silver with a black collar, dark grey lining visible from the stiff upright neckline, and had polar bears embroidered motif on the upper torso and the hem. Looking at her makes me feel eternal winter so cold and harsh. I was too frozen with fear to speak.

"I suppose I have to teach you how to appropriately dress," she said in a monotone voice with no feeling of judgment, disappointment, or even joy perhaps.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I don't know my identity. I lost it and I am trying to discover it. My name is Adaline Yuki, and I am here as compensation for my transgressions to be at your service. My services entail protection, advice, domestic service, and entertainment," Adaline replied.

"Adaline, I don't understand what the entertainment entails, at the same time I wouldn't like to know."

"I prefer it if it stays that way, Jacques."

"I never got addressed as my name for ages."

"How conflicting must it be not to be called by your name."

"Where am I?"

"You are in the provided chamber of your apartment."

"I mean what location, what planet!"

"I understand if you are conflicted. "I" wants to take you as a disciple, to be a part of a utopia. You are in the world of Surealand. To be part of a good citizen you must understand the rules that you must abide by."

"I?"

"He is the supreme god, "I" is what provided you home, and a mediocre place in society."

This woman seems to be the type to be curt and to the point. Therefore I automatically assume that she would be a bit run on logic. She seems so sane but at the same time seems like a crackhead preaching on the side of the road. I remembered years ago when my father took a crucifix out of his pocket in Beckon Hill, Boston, and the person he was talking to was screaming to give me the power. She seems relatively sane compared to him.

The apartment consisted of five parts and was a basic living space in district 7 of Surealand. It consisted of the entertaining space (meant for leisure and dining), the personal chamber, the shrine for "I", and the Kitchen. The entertaining space was very open and consisted of architecture similar to the Alhambra. It had a small pond in the center with a dome above and a low platform table to dine with on the left side near the kitchen. The personal chamber was the bedroom, bathroom, and independent study. The shrine was a green room with black candles and a black box raised on a vibrant orange altar. The kitchen was fairly similar to a contemporary American kitchen.

The living accommodations were far much of an improvement than the hospital. The only issue I have is having to share it with Adaline. I don't want to spend the majority of my time with someone so broken she can't even have the ability to express her emotions understandably. All I know is that she committed some serious crime, that is none of my business. The only way I can find solace in this person is to understand who they are.

Adaline and I walked out of a long free-floating bridge that went to other apartments. The center building was the entrance which had a staircase that went down to ground level. The entrance building had a grand foyer with a clock that was not comprehensible. Apparently, after receiving instructions from Adaline on how to appear normal in society, I still catch the attention of citizens of Surealand. I felt in a sense like a provocative and foreign creature without sex appeal. There were three pairs of golden french doors which lead to the outside. The moment I walked outside, I saw something that changed my perception of everything.

"Sorry I didn't know it was raining," said Adaline.

"Orange rain?" I nervously asked.

"Rainwater has always been orange. Why ask about it now?"

The rain was orange as amber, and when it touched the ground it became blue as a sapphire. The clouds were green as peridot, and the sky was a hue of a pink ruby. It filled my mind with endless possibilities, yet also the unknown possibilities horrified me. Why did I have to picture the sky being blue and the clouds being grey? Everything has variations of colors, not just a solid color. The Earth sky is variations of blues, whites, greys, silver, cream, and even hidden yellows. Somehow I missed everything, I wanted to be and feel like a child. A child who didn't have to worry about debt, starvation, poverty, politics, college, or a career. A child who just needed happiness to feel content. Adulthood is so overwhelming and overrated. I wish I could go back to my childhood and tell myself to live every moment as my last, stay curious, educate myself to be a better person, and most imperative create a social life so I don't become isolated. I never knew until now how colors broaden one's curiosity and how colors stimulate intellectual thoughts. Oh how missed developing as a child. I deplore being an adult.