Humpbacks And These Narwhals

/Frank POV/

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It's almost time for the bullshit to finally begin within the New World, but goddamn, having to make an actual fucking company just for getting the cash necessary for all of this shit has me a little bit tired.

(Are we finally getting everything finished with?) I was given one hell of a question from Izuku as the man was more machine if anything.

(Not quite, we still gotta make sure that this company doesn't go under while we're in the New World, so I'm gonna need you guys handle the world here while I deal with the New World.)

(That just sounds like you're giving us the job again, while you go off to have fun again.)

(Bitch please, you already know how I run. Of course I wanna have a little fun while I'm there. I trust you guys more than enough to handle this place. Plus, you're going to fix it while I'm under, so thanks for all of this, Izuku.)

He just flipped me off while I laughed at him and the shit that he was going to have to go through.

I went back into the VR machine that was going to bring me to another world, within this reality. This was going to be fun.

I logged into my account once again, seeing the entrance to the Tomb and using a teleport scroll just to get inside of it.

We had far too much fun trying to make things impossible to try and get into the Tomb, that sometimes we can't even get inside it ourselves.

My character was originally a Rusted Metal Construct, which then became a Hateful Metal Construct, and then underwent a couple quests to finally turn into an Abhorred Lord of Steel. It's a summoner/warrior kind of skill.

The sort of backstory for it is kinda odd, but here it goes. Humanity had tried their hand at making their own constructs, akin to the dwarves, but failing from so many different issues. They abandoned the idea, which left thousands of the constructs in disuse and disrepair, waiting and yearning for the day that they'd be allowed to move once more, to walk and bring forth the end of those that created and abandoned them.

Overall, kinda boring, it's the sort of cut and dry story that the devs were more or less known for making. But the quests were actually fucking good. It included a lot of times where we needed to infiltrate Human-controlled territory just to continue it, and I cannot lie that there hasn't been a single cent spent on the game.

I'm not just a fucking whale, I'm the goddamned Leviathan that feeds all of the devs with the money that I put into their game. They even got scared at some of the sheer amount of currency that I throw into it just to be able to get even better gear.

I looked at my form, a metal man that had jagged, yet matte black parts, one eye neon red and the other neon blue, with my hands looking nice and sharp as well.

Beautiful, not gonna lie about that. The devs went absolutely out of their way to make this Class's art style really shine out. It's more like a crafter class, but the things that I could craft are more or less dictated by how good all of the mats are that've been placed into it.

One of the most fun that I've had was when the Grand Raid against the Tomb happened. Did you know that I kept a personal dungeon as well? Did you also know that I used it as a storage facility for most of the units that I've made?

I could almost remember the screams and confusion when they saw a giant flying fortress dropping thousands of Hateful Weaponized Constructs.

Those were some of the good times. Lots of fun, those days were. Sadly, they were going to be ending far too soon. But, that's the price of getting isekaid, I guess.

Albeit, the Guild was kinda mad that I kept an entire force in some different dungeon just because I felt like it.

Though then again, I did say that I didn't want any leaks about its whereabouts, just in case if any of the positive karma players ever had any funny ideas.

Yes, we still get raids from all of those guys, even after the Grand Raid. It made sense, cuz some of them had the idea that we were running low on resources.

Sadly for them, having a member that owned a company that held together the security sector of your country was going to make that idea very very wrong.

I walked through some of the nicer parts of the Tomb right before I opened one of the hidden teleportation spots that sent you to the throne room, and right there, in his loneliness, was Momonga, who'd later become Ainz Ooal Gown, taking on the name of the Guild.

(Ainz! Where the hell are the others?! This can't just be a two man party!)

His avatar stood up as he gave me the smiling emoji. Poor man, completely alone, up until one of his good friends finally shows up to meet up for the end of the Guild and the game in general.

(Oh, it's been a good amount of time since we've seen you, Mekhaine-san.)

I typed a little more to assuage some of his worries.

(Well, you know me. Owning a PMC isn't exactly as great as it's seem. There's a whole lot to have to deal with just to keep the company afloat.

Hey! I see that you've got the Pleiades with you, added with Sebas Tian and Albedo. One last defense to really make sure that the legacy that we've made stays up until the very end, eh, old friend?)

He seems to be a little coy with what he's doing at the end.

(Hey wait a minute Momonga, did you- oh my god, you changed some of Albedo's settings. Dude, Tabula is going to kill you.)

He seemed to panic a little bit at that as he tried to defend himself.

(J-just wait a minute. Tabula Smaragdina put some more weird stuff into her backstory, plus you know him, it's always going to be backstory that coincides with each other for no good reason. Just Nigredo alone was a nightmare to deal with, you don't even want to re- what are you doing?)

(This says that she's in love with you.)

(N-now listen to me first, Mekhaine-san.)

(Dude, she's a virgin succubus.)

(....Hah?)

The poor man was flabbergasted at the idea that he'd inadvertently changed the story of the "child" of one of his best friends into something more, well, understandable.

(She's a virgin succubus. Literally a fucking oxymoron made manifest. I gotta give it to Tabula, the man managed to make shit that even confused me, and I'm not the type of person to get flabbergasted easily. Momonga, what did the guy originally put into this part of her story?)

(T-that, she was umm-)

(For the love of God man, just give it to me straight-)

(That she was a slut.)

(....That sounds so fucking basic as shit man. Like, that's what all succubi are, they're sluts. Literally sucking is the main part of their name and race. That's so counterintuitively him that it's giving me a headache trying to understand this. Well done, Tabula Smaragdina, well done.)

Poor little Momonga was still a little confused as I looked through the other parts of her story. Though there were some interesting little concepts to it.

There was stuff here that made her a little more prone to going rogue and the fact that she had Ginnungagap in her inventory really made things all the worse.

(Dude, I don't even understand why Ginnungagap is in her inventory right now, but I guess we'll work that out after this.)

And at that moment, I realized my slip of tongue as Momonga seemed to be a little confused.

(After this? What do you mean by that?)

Not gonna lie, I had to play some high tier brain games just to give a decent answer for him to take.

(Dude, we're still gonna be in touch right? Plus I'll just keep her story in a note pad, so we can still figure out what sort of headache Tabula was going to do again.

You remember that time that he may or may not have flooded the Treasury with nothing but farmed salmon? Out of all of the items that existed within the game, why salmon?

It was an item that existed solely just for the Human or Humanoid players, and the damned things weren't even useful outside of the early game. And yet he still had the time to go out of his way to farm OVER A HUNDRED THOUSAND PIECES OF THEM.)

(I mean, they weren't terrible healing supplies-)

(And that was literally it. Just healing supplies, just fish for about more than half a year being used to heal from giant boss fights, to literal World Enemies.

I can still feel like I could smell the damned thing whenever I head into the fucking Treasury. Poor Pandora's Actor had to sift through hundreds of those pieces of fish whenever we called for him.)

Momonga seemed to laugh at that memory while I posted a fucking rolling eyes emoji.

(Hey, isn't it nearly time already?)

(Yeah, hey, can I ask one of the Pleiades to grab my gear really quickly? It feels a little more right to do that, plus we can pose behind you as you've wanted for so fucking long.

Dude, it was cool the first time at the Grand Raid, but any other time outside of really cool moments makes it feel lime we've got no other kinds of poses for events.)

He just laughed at that again while I shook my head.

(I don't think that the devs added any updates related to the way that the NPC's could move or take commands, but I'll try.)

I looked at the timer within the game, there was about 10 minutes left on the clock, and the NPC's weren't going to make it in time.

(Hey man, I'll just do it myself. I can rush it, don't worry.)

He nodded as I teleported over to the Treasury and grabbed my gear, making damn sure to greet Pandora's Actor and give him some regards.

I looked at the tech-like gear and the giant scythe with steampunk-esque design. I was happy when I first got these things out from the crafting station, and they've served me for so long as well.

I quickly used my gear's related teleport ability to return to the throne room, with less than two minutes on the clock. I ran over to right behind Momonga, and posed for the next great adventure to come for us.

[00:00:00:05]

[00:00:00:04]

[00:00:00:03]

[00:00:00:02]

[00:00:00:01]

{Let the show begin!}

I thought to myself as Momonga looked a little sad. And at that moment, the HUD disappeared, and I felt the dank air of the throne room.

(Momonga, something went wrong. The game's still undergoing.)

He gave me the the wide eye as the Pleiades, Sebas, and Albedo all kept silent while bowing.

[Hey dude, can you hear me?]

I used the [Message] function as he seemed surprised that he heard me.

[Y-yeah, I can hear you as well. What happened, and why can't we see the HUD or call the devs?]

[Don't panic, this is probably them fucking up the shutdown. Classic devs, fuck up so many times already that they end up failing to even do this. It's expected of these idiots at this point.]

(Is there anything wrong, Lord Momonga, Lord Mekhaine?)

Albedo spoke as I myself was already a little shocked at just how good she sounded. I opened my mouth as I spoke to her.

(Calm thyself, little one. Something inadvertent had occured. You, Sebas Tian-)

(Yes Lord Mekhaine?)

(Exit the Tomb for a moment, we require some knowledge in regards to something that concerns all of the inhabitants. We might not being Niflheim anymore. Things, have gotten quite interesting.)

Sebas took a good bow as he teleported out of there.

[Okay, we need to check something else.]

(Albedo, I require you to do something very quickly.)

She stood completely upright as she then said (The will of the Supreme Ones shall always be performed to their utmost!)

I nodded quickly as I pointed right at Momonga.

(Look and see if he has a penis.)

(Eh? Mekhaine-san?)

(But of course Lord Mekhaine, that would require the permission of Lord Momonga to be done.)

I looked at Suzuki seemed to be acting solemn, but in actuality, the man was constantly going ballistic in the [Message] spell.

[MEKHAINE!! WHY DID YOU ASK ALBEDO TO CHECK IF I HAD A PENIS?]

[The R-18 agreements that we had with the devs. We can't do anything of sexual nature or connotation with any of the NPC's or with other players. Peroroncino had the bright idea to catalog just how many times he's been able to actually do weird things.]

[But what does it have to do with me?]

[Honestly, I just wanted to see if the Anti-Sex protocols would actually work when it came to you. Plus, you're a skeleton, it's kinda sexual, compared to me who's literally a fucking humanoid slab of rusty metal.]

{That, and you should really put your words where your mouth is. My brother in Christ, you decided to slap in the part where a succubus is completely and utterly smitten with you, so you better take fucking responsibility and suffer accordingly.}

My thoughts were made manifest as he poked her breast as she seemed to like it.

(Very well, it appears that we have lost that limitation.)

Sebas came in at the perfect moment as he gave the information about how we were within plains, instead of the bogs of Niflheim.

He then apologized that he wasn't able to get any more information about what was going on outside in the world, as I calmed him down and asked him to continue serving with the grace and capability that he's shown today.

[Momon, you know what this means right? It's an isekai.]

[Mekhaine, I know you to be one of my best friends, but this can't just be an isekai. That means that-]

[-We've completely lost contact with our own world, our friends, family, and any such connections that we've cultivated and blossomed within our lifetime. Yep, sounds about right.]

[How are you not panicking right now from what we're going through?]

[Listen man, the existential crisis can come afterwards. We need to secure ourselves first and foremost.]

He took my words at face value as we then continued to have units scout out the area around the Tomb. I felt the metal servos, the oil that made my body still capable of moving, and the underlying feel of hatred for biological life.

That's fun, I wonder what sort of shit I'm gonna have to deal with once we finally get out there.