1 My life

Now looking at the title, don't think I am Adolf Hitler, reincarnated, and going to write about my life.

No, I ain't crazy! Neither very dictator-kind young lady, who stands in a very awkward, sexy or elegant way at roadside or at showrooms, showing of my nice curves and wearing different dresses, different shoes, having different accessories everyday, every minute or EVERY SECOND OF MY LIFE!!!

Cool down, cool down. Let's take deep breaths. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

Ok, I am cool.

So, as I was saying… now, what was I saying? ~~~~~~ Ah! Yes! I am not crazy. Well, not as crazy as those puny humans who are very, very, Very petty. For everything.

Like, yesterday, I saw this peculiar woman who clearly wore the dress for a long time, maybe even posted a pic of herself on Instagram writing 'Hashtag Fashionista, hashtag Channel, hashtag this, hashtag that' so on and so forth, AND, she asked for a refund because she no longer could wear it. Like, what the hell is wrong with you? If you want to live a life like mine, then next time when you go to lord Hades, do tell your dream life. You may even get life career counselling by the furies. And that, is what humans call, once in a lifetime opportunity.

Then, the employees of the showrooms are seriously diverse.

Some are those who are like 'I have good looks, good flattering skills and my job is super secure. Just flatter the management, and your lovely bonus is on the way!'

Some are like 'I do not have the adequate amount of money so let's work and be quite and forget every bad and illegal activities going on and all the favouritism. No point in poking on others good business. No good comes out of it.'

And this type is my least favourite, the snobbish ones. They leach around the first type of employees, condemn the second type of employees and always backstabbing the both parties.

Seeing this 'annoying kids' make ruckus everyday, at times I wish I were in India.

Reason so? There are three actually.

One, India is a vast country and people are diverse. I will never be bored. I would travel every nook and corner of the country and try different cuisines, different cultures and learn different languages. Interesting right?!

Two, India has peace. Yes, peace. Inner peace. But no beef steak.

And third and the most important reason is, I don't know, how many people will call it a joke, or how many will hand me over FBI, but hoping no one will put me to jail…I'll tell.

My friend, who also was a mannequin like me, told me once that in India, kids can be punished to a certain extent that the Americans or even the Europeans may say, 'Inhuman'. But the ones who won't take it seriously, will love it.

Every Indian child is a pret in disguise. Breaking glass tumblers, glass windows while playing at home, loosing notebooks and textbooks just before exam, stealing chewing gums from super markets, having a water-mud fight, racing when cycling and also, falling down by hitting the wall or pillar. Name it, and those kids have done it. A unique sense of happiness and accomplishment they feel.

Now, parents, I know, I know. Kids like them are a pain in ass. Which parent would like to replace the windows every now and then, buy new glasses, look for textbooks and notebooks for your kids who don't even sit to study and buy new cycles for them. Not everyone is Adani and Ambani. Are they?

So, as I already said before, Indian parents have the ability to punish their children to a certain extend, under Women and Children protection act.

At first, normally, they scream, they shout and make them do sit-ups while twisting their ears, but you see, once children get the taste of success, they get addicted. Success is the natural drug, a lassi with bhang…from the streets of Kashi.

No matter what you do, they will break, loose, tear, shred something or the other. Then, you know what parents do then?

Ok, hold your breaths. Drumrolls....

Have you seen Neeraj Chopra, the ace javelin thrower. You know why his tip is so good? Because he, like Indian parents, used to practice throwing every day. Now, you might say, "Neeraj is a javelin thrower so, he used to throw javelin. What about the parents?"

Well, they practice with slippers. On a live target. The naughty prets.

Funny right? And to be honest, children actually don't do anything bad for the next whole week. All of them, turn into German kids, very obedient.

Alright, here they come, the employees. I must stop chitchatting or they might say I am possessed.

Bye - Bye….