Chapter 84: Sunyeowon (The Nunnery)

"Yeon, I need to ask you something and please answer me honestly; what is going on with yourself and the Young Master?" "Why are you asking me? Has something happened?" "Yes! He is in love and happy with the kisaeng from the brothel! He has been in love with her for a long time now and even you know this! So why did you kiss him that night! Why did you seduce him? Is it because he is rich? A nobleman? Who can give you a better life? Do you want to ruin his chance of happiness?" "I...i didn't mean to..." "Yes you did!" "Excuse me?" "You have made him crazy about you from the moment you went out of your way to take care of him!" "I only wanted to thank him for saving my life! You know how he is treated in that home! Here in the palace! And everywhere else! I just..." "you do not understand! Did you know that he has been watching you since your first year with us? Because you gave him the smallest amount of attention, he has been poking holes in your windows and he watches you all night long on his days off! Yeon? Yeon!" "What...what do you mean he...is watching me?" "Can't you tell! He's practically obsessed with you! He watches you every single time your back is turned, he keeps asking to be served your favourite food, drinks and desserts, and he's even started buying you the clothes you wear out of his own pocket! Haven't you realised that the clothes you wear have been becoming more...fitting?" "I...I...why would he do that? Why..." "I think...think that he's in love with you. Or he's obsessed. Or both even." "Please...tell me everything that he asks you about me." "Everything; from the tone in your voice to the outfits you wear...he wants to know everything about you." "Could he...suspect me? No, this cannot happen right now..." "He doesn't suspect you of anything! I am telling you that he is downright in love with you." "No, you're wrong...he doesn't love me, he can't. Why would he..." "Yeon...if he was in love with you, then what would you do? Would you still leave with me? Or would you stay here with him? Yeon?"

"I...I do not believe you. I am sorry, but the Young Master is a very busy man and there is no way he suddenly has so much time on his hands to just watch me." "Yeon...." "Please do not let him know where I am. Goodbye."

I almost sprinted inside the empty temple, only to collapse again as my legs refused to support me after what I had just heard. I had that conversation with Dal almost a week ago when i found the time to sneak into the dungeons, only for Seon-Ho to be transferred somewhere where i couldn't find him. No, it couldn't be true, Dal was the only servant that Seon-Ho trusted, so this must be him messing around with me again. I still didn't know why he repeatedly crossed the line with me, but now was not the time to focus on that. I should have asked Dal where the Nam's offices were before I ran away from him like that. Now what do I do? I didn't know anyone here and with my lowly status, I was pretty sure that no-one was willing to help me either.

I was eventually greeted by the servants an hour later and was informed of the events that had happened with disaster relief plan. Nam-Jeon and Seon-Ho were throughly questioned about the plan, and Seon-Ho backed up my thoughts that i had shared with the Emperor himself. Nam-Jeon, on the other hand, completely staked himself into the original under-developed plan in a panic just like i thought he would, and things couldn't have gotten worse for him. It looked like somebody who understood my concerns had riled up the army and the civilians that they were supposed to quietly surprise in this plan, which just led to full on revolts from almost everyone in the entire kingdom. And as for the Emperor himself, it looked like he had used this plan to weed out the corrupted officials who must have drained him entirely. And he used the lives of the people who could have avoided being injured or worse just to make Nam-Jeon himself pay for this, exactly like he said he would. All he cared about was his fame and his wealth, and now he was blaming me for his servnat/son of stealing it? Apparently, he had done everything that he could do in his power to see me and make me help him, but that particular issue was dealt with by my brother's new men. They came to see me when they could in the absence of my brother and we had definitely bonded a lot, but there was still one person who was missing in my heart and in my mind and i had no idea what to do about him. If i enquired anyone about Seon-Ho, then the third prince and my brother would have been tipped off immediately and i would have been in trouble. And my brother did send me letters whenever he could so i could regain my memories, but the other memories of what Seon-Ho did to me the night that...it was burned into my heart and it was starting to keep me up at night. I had gotten a taste of something that I shouldn't have, something that i never thought I would get to have...and it was intoxicating. I couldn't stop thinking about what could have happened if we didn't stop there...

Going back to Nam-Jeon, i was getting updates weekly in between my endless payer sessions since i had nothing else better to do here. He had tried to meet up with anyone that he could in the palace, but to no avail. One of he most feared persons in the palace was now being avoided in the same manner that he made his son accustomed to and he wasn't handling it well by what i was hearing. He wasn't used to such criticism, especially after being stripped of all of his wealth and titles, which would go straight to Seon-Ho if he was found innocent of the charges that were laid against him. He even wanted to contest me about the plan, but I had already made myself more than clear that the Young Master was the one who said up late at night in his study at home to come up with this plan and the servants that he had hired had personally been summoned to the palace to give their testimony about this. Seon-Ho was extremely lucky that the servant that I took care of for him helped him, otherwise who knew what would happen to him at this point? The Emperor was far too preoccupied with the fact that his officials had exploited his people with his own name and good will, even after my objections at this plan going ahead. I myself was called in about this issue once again for the final time and i did everything in my power to get him sentenced to death in the presence of my poor brother who had been hiding himself in Hui-Jee's brothel right under her nose from the beginning.

"Seo Yeon, i have not forgotten your objections ever since i have met you. And now in the face of the crises, I wish to correct the official justice system. i wonder what you have to say to perfect this plan on behalf of the Young Master Nam, who is still indisposed due to his mental health becoming somewhat...unstable."

My heart plummeted into the ground when I heard that and I had a hard time hiding my tears, but now was not the time to display such emotions, even when my heart was positively chewing self out inside of my chest.

"Your Highness, we should first establish the personal evaluation system and list the disaster relief results, including the annual promotion of recruiting officers in all regions, not just the north. This will force them to apply more care for the disaster victim and they should be well adjusted once punishments for corrupted officials are set into place with Nam-Jeon himself taking on the punishment as an official warning. Repots of offences should be drawn up no matter who does so, and they corrupt officers should also be punished in the exact same way. Anyone who intercepts these reports should be written up as accomplices, no matter how profits more or less than others. For example; those who embezzles over a certain amount should be killed, starting with Nam-Jeon himself. We should also impose new sanctions to regularly recruit more talent regularly to appoint new officials and putting the corrupt ones in their place for good." And with that, myself and my brother were restored to our rightful statuses as the noble children of a man who had dedicated his service to the country despite his crime, which was quite rare indeed, whilst Nam-Jeon himself was locked up in the dungeons with his sons. There was still no news of Seon-Ho and i could't ask anyone until the investigation of my kidnapping had reached its verdict. The Emperor even charged Nam-Jeon of carrying out the plan unauthorised, so he was now only a step away from being hanged or even worse for upsetting the army as well in his own name. And since he was now known for plagiarism, he was ordered to make multiple copies of my perfected plan 100 times until he was called in for his final verdict.

It looked like the only time I was allowed any sort of freedom was during my sessions in the temple, so I had no choice but to wait until then. But now I was left alone with my thoughts and the shocking conversation that I had with Seon-Ho's servant. There was absolutely no way that there was any truth to what he said; he now had noble women throwing themselves at their feet, and he was enjoying his new romance with the top beauty in our entire village. There wasn't any possibility that he would pay any attention to a freak like me with my disability, inferior background and my unusual interests in books and school. I wasn't as feminine or as beautiful as Hui-Jee was, even if she was only partially literate. I wasn't as street smart as she was since I had been locked up in either my own home or the Nam mansion due to my condition. I didn't know how to seduce a man and I wasn't even in the least bit interested since I understood many years ago that having s husband and children was not going to be an option for me. That was why I never put any effort into endlessly grooming myself or buying makeup before I lost my memories, there was just not any point at all. Was that what it was? Was my new appearance the cause of such disturbing behaviour from a man I had addressed as 'brother' since the day I met him? Did I help him too much? Did I really pay excessive attention to him that he wasn't used to? Now what on earth was I do to about the situation when I returned to the Nam residence? Was I supposed to ignore him? Would he even let me do that? Would he keep his distance from me? What on earth was I supposed to do now?

These thoughts even began to haunt my dreams as I began to see Seon-Ho as the child who helped my brother and the entire timeline of our friendship right until the first moment we had in the kitchen in my first year with him. I felt like he was watching me a little too intensely even back then, and I had no idea why I just kept shrugging it off. I remembered when I found the holes in my window and I was still angry about how he kept me awake all night long. Just what on earth was he trying to achieve?

My dream then shifted into the night he picked me up his his arms and stuck his tongue down my throat with no warning at all. He had one arm around my waist and he pulled me in so closely to him that I could feel his hot breath on my entire skin. The other hand touched me everywhere he possibly could and it even went up my skirt at one point. I didn't like to wear my trousers under my skirt and I remembered that he started moaning silently when he started touching my bare thigh. But in my dream, it didn't stop there; he threw me over his shoulder and took me to his bedroom and he wouldn't let me leave. He started to undress me furiously and I simply got caught up in the moment. And it was at this point for the very first time in my entire life that I felt such pleasure from a smile dream; pleasure that I didn't know existed in this world. Virgin girls had absolutely no knowledge of what sex meant and the experienced/ married ones would never tell us. We simply knew it to be an act that ruined a girl's life if it took place before marriage or with someone other than ones husband. And yet I could not wake up from this dream where the man I had always loved too deeply to walk away from holding my body hostage and doing such pleasurable things to it that never wanted to leave his side, no matter what happened between us.