Chapter 63: Nagjin (The Fall Out)
I could see and hear what was going on in the distance, but there was nothing I could do about it at the moment, so I was honestly sort of glad that Hwi was still close by to defend his little sister. But as usual, there was no-one to defend and protect me when I was facing a situation like this with my enraged father, to the point where he would throw anything and everything at me just to hurt me even more. At least that was what I had expected, until Yeon once again came running into the room without putting a single thought towards herself and her own well-being with her arms stretched out in front of me so that my father could not hurt me without hurting her. "My Lord! Your son has done nothing wrong and you still need him for work at the palace! So please, spare him from this concubine's mess when it was Dal's plan in the first place." Never in my entire life has anyone defended me without hesitation as Yeon was right now. Not even my mother had the capability to defend me in my childhood from him or his precious first born. Hwi himself was still only a few feet away from me and he still wouldn't step foot into the main home of this residence to speak up for me. I understood his circumstances, but it still hurt.
"Your lowly orphan...how dare you get in the way of disciplining my own...." "Your own who? Your own son? Are you finally going to address him as such? After all of these years?" It still stung a little bit when she said that, especially when that last sentence that she uttered finally pulled my father back into his senses and understood that he had lost the right to 'discipline' me a long time ago. But Yeon...now what do I do about her? Yes, she was intelligent and book smart and yet she was helping me in my plans...but what she was doing for me was going beyond what I was doing for her. Was I now in debt to her as I was with her brother? And I couldn't read what was on her mind either, especially as she was walked out after my father without saying a word to me. She looked distracted, and it was most likely due to her brother that she could not remember. But I had no words of solace for her, and it was killing me that I could not repay what I owed to this woman who had helped and supported me far more than anyone else has in my entire life. But I knew who I could take out my frustration up upon before I faced her again.
"My Lord? You have finally come to see me. Let my servant serve you some tea...what is this? Divorce papers? Have you lost your mind? I have almost suffered a miscarriage for our child and you..." "I know that I am the one who handed you the dream of becoming my concubine. But if you recall all of your actions ever since you have been under my father's roof, all you have done is embarrass us all, you have acted like an incompetent maid who cannot even win over your own people and now you are trying to blackmail me into owning a child that is not mine. So get the hell out of this home and do not even look back at me once, or I will put you down just like i have with your previous master...and the real father of your child." "You are willing to kick me out all over your disabled cousin who is clearly obsessed with you?" "There are seven reasons why a man can let go of his concubine under Confucius laws; lewdness, jealousy, wordiness to in-laws, childless, disease and theft. You have offended more than 3 in a row, so fall in line with the law and get out of here as soon as you recover." "But this is a union that was granted by your father!" "Do you really not understand yet? Are you that clueless? Myself and my father both used you to take down the family that you were previously acquainted with. And you used me by covering for your illegitimate child. But I do not need you anymore." "But you liked me, that was why you promised me a concubine title instead of being head maid. I am your woman and I will not leave you, no matter what you do or say! Over my dead body will I leave before your unmarried and disabled cousin does!"
"Calm down, will you! Do not loose your baby over stress..." "and what do you are about my baby? You are not the father, remember?" "He is illegitimate like me, I am not completely heartless. And do no resort to thinking about death so easily..." "Why can't I? Is I because we are in your mother's quarters? Where she killed herself? Isn't suicide also a big sin against Confucius laws? But she was just a slave and i am a mistress who can take away anyone's lives with a single word. Not one of my predecessors take others lives into account, so why should I be afraid? And you, my husband, has just been promoted in your office with a bigger pay rise, and you have been bestowed more rights from the emperor himself. So why should I leave you just as you are rising the ranks in the palace? Family image is everything in the palace, so let us see how you can keep that up without me. Or will you be accused of being incompetent of governing your own household and kicking out your own unborn son." "Why should I be worried about your previous master's unborn child? Or is it Dal's? In fact, I do no wish to know, so just pack up and leave as soon as you can walk again."
"Even if myself and my family dies, I am still your woman!" "I have never laid my hands on a woman and I never shall. So I will ask the servants to escort you out." "Why are you so desperate to kick me out? Is it because of what I said about your mother? Or is it the child that scares you? You know what, despite your horrific mixed birth right and your damaging past, people cannot deny your intelligence and resourcefulness. You are a shrewd man with unlimited potential and possibilities, but how can you possibly live up to all of those expectations when you do not know exactly who impregnated your woman when you refused me every single night? What is the matter with you? Who gave you the right to deny me after you sold me a dream whilst knowing everything that I have been through with your previous maid, Chun-Ae. So of course, you left me no choice but to let another man hold me whilst you stalk that cousin of yours." "Now what are you talking about? Yeon is just me cousin and I do no stalk her...". "She is Seo Yeon of the Seo family along with her brother Hwi, the man who was your best and only friend for many years now, isn't she? You are now chasing the girl who used to chase you around, the girl that you do not share a single drop of blood with, aren't you?" "I have no idea what you are talking about, just leave with everything that you came with and that is it."
"So no matter how lenient and uninterested a man is, he still refuses to make allowances for his wife to grow herself a red apricot tree branch over her wall (to have an affair)? But it is too bad that you cannot kill me, because this baby has your blood whether or not you have done the deed with me or not." "Just what drugs have you been given? Do you understand what you are saying or not?" "Do you understand that you have been controlled by your own brother? The man who is the bridge between yourself and your father? The only lowly servant your father acknowledges? Whom he dresses up just like you? And the same thing goes with your previous maid who lost her life in the hands of the epileptic girl?"
It wasn't true...it simply wasn't. The concubine had lost her mind and had no idea what she was saying...yes, that was it...how can she possibly think that...that my servant was my brother? And Chun-Ae, who had always been in love with me...that she was...my sister? My blood sister? Did she have any idea what she was implying?
"What are you doing? Do not come near me! Do not touch me!" "I just want to touch you! I want to hold you like other couples do? Why are you so scared for me to touch you? If it was Yeon or your kisaeng girl, then you would let them touch you, right?" "Hui-Jee has never touched me! And I have never..." "And Yeon? You have let her touch you plenty of times..." "Yeon is different; I've known her my whole life and she brings me peace. I can trust her, even with my life."
"You know, I really wasn't sure about you at first when I saw you with the Seo's years ago. I even despised you just like everyone else, because you only saw the Seo's and nobody else. You did do a lot...well, you all helped each other quite a lot I suppose. But now you have made no progress with your kisaeng girl and Yeon doesn't remember who you are you it is an impossibly with you. So you only have me, don't you? If you cannot touch me, then why not use my baby to sire an heir and gain your father's trust and respect once and for all?" "I will not use my slave's baby for that! Take dal with you when you leave...stop! Get your hands off of me! I told you not to touch me! Do you have no shame, woman!"
"I do not want you to leave me! Please, stop leaving me every time you talk to me! Do not find solace in anyone else and leave me on my own! I can learn! I can educate myself for you! I can help you in you work! I can be a concubine that this family is proud of! I miss you all the time, even when you are at work! I know that you do not like me now, but you have never even tried to get to know me! To be with me!"
"That was because I had no intention to take you seriously from the start." "Wh...what did you just say?" "I..only kept you to test her abilities...and...to make her..." "To make her jealous. You kept me and made me go through so many things...just to make your cousin jealous of me?" "It isn't Yeon! Why does everyone keep pairing me with her! I already told you that i...oh, forget it." "Please don't leave! Let us reconcile, please give me this chance to use my mistake to hurt you! I wont' go near your brother again! I will cut off contact with everyone that I know just for you! I will not throw anymore tantrums, I will even stay away from your cousin and get her off punishment. I will even look after your father for you and manage the household properly! Please!"
"This world will not go on my your word; you have made far too many mistakes and frankly, you have been passed around so many people that I do not want to touch you at all. When you are irate, you make everyone else suffer with you. And when you repent, you just expect everyone to forgive you? You have been a maid for all of your life, yet you have not matured, not even after all of this time." "Young Master! Young Master...no...I will make you forgive me! I swear it! And Seo Yeon...it is time for one of us to leave this manor, and it will not be me."