Chapter 115: Sido (Attempt 1)

I had my face planted onto the floor with a small smile on my face when I saw how this girl was melting at my words. Yes, they were personal and true, but that didn't mean that I couldn't use my pain of ray own good. As an illegitimate half noble I always had to rely on manipulating others around me for even the smallest chance of attention, so what else could I do now? Yeon wasn't opening her mouth despite the threats that I hung over her head and I couldn't just keep her with me without Hwi coming to find her. Keeping her by my side would not only repair my relationship with Hwi, but I could and would torture Yeon how I pleased to get the truth of my life from her since she was so unwilling to tell me anything at all. Yeon spoke so eloquently and logically in front of the King, which was completely unlike her usual self. That meant that she was hiding a lot more from me than I had realised, and I knew I wouldn't get anything out of her in one evening. Despite everything she did for me, I was aware that I had broken her trust by not telling her the truth and she was punishing me for it by avoiding me so publicly. So I needed to work on that first before I could do anything else, and then...

Before she lost her memories she used to be quite forward with me in her excitement, and when she lost her memories...I couldn't deny that the roles were rather reversed only a few weeks ago in the last year. But when she came over and sat on my lap...it didn't feel unnatural at all. I never really had to worry about formalities with Yeon despite my constant reminders, and honestly it made me smile secretly every single time that she did that. She was cute back then and I couldn't help myself, but now despite my anger...it felt like myself and her were finally where we were both meant to be, with each other.

Stay focused Seon-Ho, she lied to you for a lot longer than you did to her. Stay focused and don't ;et her seduce you again like she did from the moment I brought her into my home...

"Seon-Ho?" "Yes?" "Are you not going to give me any answers then? About why you treated me the way you did in my first three years here? And...this year?" I wasn't one to talk about feelings so this was going to be hard, but I had to keep Yeon by my side at any cost, so even if I had to face something uncomfortable then it was worth it. These last few weeks had been empty without her and I wasn't going to face that again, not a chance in hell. "You reminded me of your brother so much and it gave me so much heartache. I...don't usually have emotions when I walk through the gates of this mansion, I usually reserve them for when I'm around you and your brother. It bothered me deep down in my soul and I felt so much guilt for you so I..." "I thought that was the case. And I suppose that your father made it worse by limiting our contact and with each other." "You didn't even have to ask me, you already knew the answer." "Ok, let us eat first before we talk some more." I was more than grateful to her, but when she tried to sit besides me, my body reacted before I could think and I suddenly wrapped my arm around her waist tightly. I hadn't realised how much I missed the sight of her blushing around me until this moment and I couldn't help but to lean into her and just place my head gently into her neck as she fed the both of us quietly. Her gentleness and tranquility gave me all the peace I needed; even if there was another girl that I was courting, knew for a fact that no-one else would give me peace like this. The rules between the two sexes were so rigid and a woman's only priority in the lifetime was to secure a beneficial marriage for their family. These strict rules really dumbed down a lot of personalities despite everyone's background and most women got overly-excited when a man gave them the slightest bit of attention. I got a taste of that myself when I suddenly had a flock of women all around me trying to get my attention ever since my promotion in the palace. But because of everything that I had been through, trust meant a lot more to me than a pretty face, and I could tell that it was the same for Hwi since he had his own fan club running in circles around him every time that he came back to the village. And it showed me just how shallow power really was; for a promotion and power, noble women around me were starting to act like prostitutes and do everything in their power to trap me into a marriage.

"What are you thinking about?" "What do you mean?" "I can hear your mind racing from a mile away." "They say that lovers can hear each other's thoughts." "What are you trying to say? That we are lovers?" "Well what else are we? I'm not your brother and you for damned sure are not my sister." "I...have no idea what we are." "Excuse me?" That really took me by surprise and it was getting me angry all over again. "Are you being serious right now?" "Why would I joke about this?" "Then what about everything that we did this year?" "It isn't unusual for the Young Master of the home to sleep around with his maids and servants. And you frequented the so-called brothel that you just pulled me out from, are you really telling me that another woman didn't catch your eye? Or you didn't do anything with any kisaeng in there after work?"

Here I was trying to get close to Yeon, keep her by my side and even get my revenge on her, but how did she come to doubt me so much? I wasn't a licentious man, no woman wanted me around them even if I was! Didn't she see for herself for years how everyone treated me publicly? I didn't even think about women as much as I thought about...Yeon was the only woman who ever let me near her. "Are you saying...did you think I was just messing around with you?" "You had a fiancé you weren't happy with and you had me at home to vent yourself upon." "How... can you say all of this so calmly? You love me, you always have and..." "But you've never loved me, not in the way that I've always loved you. If you did, you would have told me the truth, reunited me with my brother and even go as far as to offer your hand in marriage instead of just treating me how you pleased and even taking me now behind my brother's back and luring him here." With just a few words she had completely caught me out without batting an eyelid as she continued to feed herself. But what she said about what I did to Yeon, it was't true at all! I had never in my life given myself to any woman, I had never even touched Hui-Jee a day in my life! I had never even come close to her to know what her scent was, and...and... that was when I realised that I had never been curious about her enough, not like how I was with Yeon. With Yeon; I watched her for hours, I sent her gifts, I explained book passages to her that she couldn't understand because she had never been formally educated before, and I just always thought about her. Even if she did live a monotonous life in my home, I always wondered what she was doing as every minute in the palace passed. I even spoke to her about my work, which I would not even do with Hwi before since we were now technically enemies in the court. I sided with the King whilst Hwi practically had no choice but to attach himself to the third prince who refused to let him go.

"Do you really think that I would do that to you? That I would just mess around with you of all people?" "Didn't you do just that?" "Yeon!" "What do you expect me to think? You are still hovering around a brothel with a table full of women...and I think that you already have your eye on someone." "Is this a joke to you? Are you really going this far to torture me for hiding the truth from you?" "Do you know what I have been avoiding you?" "Because I hid the truth from you. Yeon, I am so sorry but I..." I was practically on my knees at this point and almost begging her to look at me because she refused to. If I thought that I knew pain when I betrayed her brother and then when she ignored me, it was nothing compared to this moment right now when she was practically describing one of those noble bums who bedded anything that walked.

"As soon as you gained your promotion, there have been rumours that you have been involved with someone else in Ihwaru for years, and that you even promised her marriage. And who am I to stand in the way of that? You are an upstanding noble that is expected to take on wives, concubines and mistresses. So why would I consider us being anything when you will always have the freedom to be with as many women as you choose? Well, I am not even considered to become a mistress, I am more like a palace maid with a sullied body. Both physically and emotionally I guess...but I do not hold any resentment towards you, we were both lost this last year and now my brother wants to marry me off as soon as I have completed my education. There are talks of him giving me to...." "To who? WHO!" "Why are you getting so angry? We will both go our separate ways now that have to move to another village for school, and my brother is late coming home because he is setting me up with a property that he just purchased for me. He then plans to introduce me to that person that works with the prince himself, and then I should be married by next year." "You said...you told me that you would never marry, not even to me! So how can you..." "I need to use this marriage to pacify my brother. He really isn't happy with me as it is, and he is so insistent on carrying out his final duty towards me. I don't know, may be someone said something to him about me to get me out of the way and..." "it's her, it has to be here. Hui-Jee is so obsessed with Hwi, so of course she would do anything that she could to keep him to herself now..."