Book 2: Part 1: Bandaedoeneun (Contrary)- Chapter 93: Gyeoljeong (Decisions)

Thanks to the Prince's favour towards my brother I was able to call in a few favours as rewards from the Emperor and had managed to have a of Nam-Jeon's privileges and wealth transferred to his son who had shown nothing but loyalty to the Emperor which he was well aware of. I had also managed to grant him immunity from any crime his father had committed and probably would in the future. The Emperor agreed to this and also wanted to promote him in front of his father, I had no idea what Seon-Ho had managed to achieve with the Emperor, but he seemed reluctant to let him go. I made my requests and settled myself for the next part of my plans, although my brother being away for almost the duration of my stay at the Nam's was not part of the plan. I was hoping to bring him around almost everyday not only to rub it into their faces but to have some sort of protection for me. Seon-Ho was still with the Emperor so I gladly spend the rest of the day with my brother whilst everybody else rested up at Ihwaru, just as Dal was now being called for his interrogation with the Emperor and Prince.

He took me around our usual places where we would like to go until we came to the fields and we both had tears streaming down our faces at this point. When we were finally alone I threw myself at him, knocking him down on the ground just like I used to, not knowing how much I missed him until I took in his scent, his rough blistered hands and his long wavy hair that always tickled my chin. He was keeping himself strong for my sake whilst I took out every emotion and action I had suffered from for all of these years and I wailed into his chest until I had completely exhausted myself. I woke up a few hours later on his lap as usual as we watched a wedding procession make its way throughout the village. "I wonder if I'll ever get the chance to fulfil that final duty towards you Yeonnie" he looked miserable and heart broken at the same time, and felt myself almost break down, but I couldn't do it as he was scheduled to leave soon. "No brother, you will not." He didn't even look surprised as he looked towards me "although my appearance had changed, my interests and my capabilities I still have that disorder flowing in my blood. I cannot, for the sake of my wanting a family just like every other woman, take the risk of infecting my husband's children with it." "Will you not let anyone court you then?" "what's the point of that I if I will not marry?" "Yeonnie..." "Like I told you brother, I have far too much to accomplish to care about trivial things like finding a mate" I was lying and he knew it, he had always known about my feelings for his friend as I didn't exactly hide it in the past, but now he was in love somebody else and it was a dead end for me either way. It was getting late and I told him I would make my way back to the Nam mansion but he didn't offer to drop me off for once. He told me that he was going to spend some time with his woman before he left soon but that he would place some of his new men to keep a close eye on me. I couldn't noticed how sad he looked, so I ran back to him and I promised him that I would most definitely come home to him after Nam-Jeon's sentencing.

I made my way back to the mansion in full spirits, trying to hide the dread I had felt underneath each step. I could handle Nam-Jeon any day of the week and I had enough tricks up my sleeve to help me out...Seon-Ho on the other hand I had no idea how to deal with. I already had a feeling what he would be like and I knew he wouldn't make it easy for me. There was also the matter of whatever it was that was beginning to fester between the two of us, but I just shook my head and trying to stand firm to the statement that I made to my brother. And as I made my way over I managed to make a few stops along the way to put my month long plan into action.

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I almost flew out of the place gates to find the Seo's in case they decided to escape together, leaving my father behind to walk home on foot as he had lost all of his privileges, even the tight to his own horse was taken away from him. I looked all over for them since Yeon had apparently regained her memories. Both my mind and my heart had flown into panic the more I searched for them...no...she couldn't leave me...maybe Hwi would but I knew he would come back but Yeon...she couldn't leave my side, I was not going to let it happen...only because she was the one who had brought this about so she had to see it to the end by my side...yes...that was the only reason why I was looking for her...I almost collapsed in relief when I found them in the fields together; she was sleeping on his lap just like she used to every night she came out with us. We had both long suspected that her medicine was putting her to sleep a lot so we just let her nap for a while before going our separate ways. I just watched them for a while before almost diving into some bushes when she had started waking up. I had heard their conversation and for reasons unknown to me it made me really angry to know that Yeon was basically going to isolate herself as soon as everything was over, as if she could carry on with her life as if she hadn't gone through god knows what because I was still frustratingly left in the dark. So that was it? She was just going to go on with her life as if she hadn't turned my life upside down in just a few hours? She did everything for me and then what? Just leave? Not a chance; even though I had betrayed them to keep them alive Yeon could have come to me at any time and I could have helped her...in fact she could have helped me...a lot sooner...and we both could have...At this point my resentment had surpassed all levels as I planned to get my own revenge...on the one person I had sworn to protect at all costs...and probably still would. But she had shown in the palace that she would put her guard up against even me...for some reason it felt like she couldn't trust me that much. Didn't she thank me recently for everything I had done for her? Fine then, I would make her regret that. And what was she saying earlier to her brother? About isolating herself to prevent marriage? Even though I knew she wanted a family to take care of deep down inside? That was also fine; if that was what she was going to avoid, then I'd make her have one... I was so lost in my own thoughts I hadn't realised that Yeon had already left on her own in the dark. I was about to follow her when I heard her brother calling out for me as if he knew I was hiding from them. I sighed in defeat as I came out of my hiding place, knowing full well that he wasn't going to let me off now.

I faced him for the first time a while; regret, guilt and remorse apparent on every line of my face. Although I was usually the hot headed one and he was the emotional one, we hadn't found ourselves in this kind of a situation before to where one had to apologise to the other, but he beat me to it before I could even open my mouth "Yeon explained everything already when she did what she did, so there's no reason to bring this up again" he still looked angry but I could tell that we were both very visibly relieved "but as you know I'll now be away for the entire duration of my sister's stay along with my men. Who can I count on to look after her and make sure that she doesn't get in over her head" "I haven't let anything happen to her so far so why would I let anything happen to her now?" "Really? Can you really look me in the eye and guarantee that nothing has happened to her? Because you know everything she has been put through? Like the constant bullying from you servants? Especially that Chun-Ae girl or whoever she is? And the life she has lived behind our backs outside of your precious world that you and your father have been trying to hold onto?" I couldn't look him in the face after that, he had every right to be angry at me and we both knew it. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you both never cross paths again after this. She will no longer be a burden to you. No matter what she says, I'll marry her off as soon as I come back. And by the way; you can keep Hui-Jee to yourself. That should keep you busy in our absence." And with that he left before we had a chance to properly talk. I sighed, it was ok if he was angry but not even he could separate me from his sister.

I made myself at home in Ihwaru for the first time in a long time and I drank to my heart's content without Hui-jee harassing me. Usually I was alone as people always ignored the bastards like me, unless they had a group of legitimate friends to hide behind, which I had avoided. But it looked like word had spread about my promotion that jumped a few ranks ahead of the usual process because now I had a flurry of women surrounding me, trying to seduce me. I could only snort in laughter; growing up in my fathers world, fraudulent behaviour wasn't lacking and it was the one of the many traits I could not stand. Did these kisaengs forget the disgusted look that came across their faces every time I used to walk in by myself? Did they all really have such short memories? Now they all couldn't stop touching me, all fighting to sit next to me and talk to me although I had nothing to say to them. But I couldn't help but to take the opportunity to observe them; some of them were tall, some of them were too short, some too skinny and some...well you get the idea. I was indeed one of the tallest men in the village and Yeon...she was short while growing up with her brother but when she was with me she had grown a few healthy inches. And with her wearing rags all of the time I never would have suspected that her figure...sometimes I used to get a little carried away when I used to watch her, so now I knew for damned sure she was a very slender girl...woman indeed. I couldn't watch as much as I wanted to at the time due to the respect that I had to give her but now she was still in my home...for me to observe to my hearts content...and acquire what was owed to me.