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THE LOVE I MUST HATE

My name is Lisa and I am only attracted to girls. I realized that since the day I began to feel my genitalia. But no one must know about it; not when I live in a religious girls' high school. It is considered unholy to love a fellow girl. It is against the school rules, and a rumor about it will result in the expulsion of the involved students. I wouldn't want to be expelled. I fear the humiliation it holds and the disappointment it might bring to my parents. My parents sent me to this religious school for a sort of cleansing from my abominable choice of sexuality. Although they failed to understand I didn't choose to like girls, I do not want to be expelled back to them or see them hurt more than they are hurting. So, I dwelled in secret; surviving the co-habitation of other girls until Uriel came along. I couldn't resist Uriel's sweet sculpted face, endowed body figure, and perfect curvy lips. I couldn't withstand her charm. So, I decided to risk everything and have that 'unholy' relationship with her. For Uriel, I could face the world and fight, but I didn't consider if Uriel would want the same. After I kissed her and confessed my feelings, I saw maybe, just maybe, I should have remained in the closet and had my secret buried with me. Uriel received me with disgust, exposed me to everyone, and had me expelled from school. My life turned left. I hated myself for years and ended up living in lies about liking men. Now she is back, apologizing and professing her undying love. Should I believe she reappeared to love me right? Should I embrace my unquenched feelings for her or take on the revenge I've always wanted?

RosyKosy · LGBT+
Not enough ratings
13 Chs

SHE NEEDS NO ONE ELSE

LISA:

"Uriel!"

Students turned to my voice, parted an entrance for me and I went into the crowd and before Uriel.

Her face was lifted backward. She was nose-bleeding, I supposed, and that seemed like a lot of blood judging from her stained sports uniform.

"Uriel?" I touched her face and she opened her eyes to see me. "Hey…" I whispered.

"Senior Lisa," she exhaled happily.

I could see the revival in her eyes. She must have waited too long for me and I confirmed it when she gripped my hand and began to shed tears. All the emotions she was subduing overflowed at my presence.

"Who did this to you?" I cupped her head but her sobbing state couldn't help her stay still.

"Who was the player?" I turned to the shaking students. "Who kicked the ball?!" I yelled and they all pointed to the bad player.

"I am sorry, senior Lisa," Miriam shook in fear. "I didn't mean to break her nose."

"What? Her nose is broken?" I lowered over to examine Uriel's nose in shock.

She flinched as I touched her nose but thankfully, it wasn't broken. I sighed in relief and turned to Miriam with the most dense 'you-are-a-lucky-being' glare.

"Is it broken?" Rebecca, a classmate, and the sports prefect asked.

"No. A little soar. She will be fine." I confirmed and everyone's stiffened shoulders relaxed.

I may be tagged the most caring and loving by Reverend Sisters in the convent except the students especially the juniors, know I have my moods and uncrossed boundaries. And a situation like this causes no reason to be loving and caring.

"I am sorry," Miriam apologized non-stop.

I looked at her and huffed. I do not have to blame her further, she was only playing for wins, I should spare her.

"You better win," I smiled at her and she nodded. "Go on, take back your positions," I ordered everyone and they gladly ran into the field to resume the match.

"I will see you," Rebecca said to Uriel before blowing her whistle to alert the students of the continuation.

At Louis Nobis, Prefects are active and functioning. While Reverends deal with their rosaries and scapulars, most activities are handled by us.

However, we study harder than you may think. The Reverend sisters endeavor to mark our academic standards accordingly and regulate our morals as the top priority.

Other activities such as sports, labor, and social gatherings rarely interest them, so, they shoulder those sections on the Prefects.

"How do you feel?" I asked Uriel who hadn't stopped squeezing my hand.

She is hurt. The ball must've kicked her hard. She couldn't say that to avoid me going harsher on the bad player, instead, she silently shed more tears.

"Can you walk?"

She nodded but on a thought, I went against her walking.

"I will carry you," I said and squatted before her.

She slid onto my back and I lifted us and walked out of the field.

"Senior," she called after a few walks. "I am still bleeding.

"Keep your head up, okay."

She didn't say a word but I felt her nodding and lifted head on my back.

The students are not surprised at my carrying Uriel; I have lifted as many students as possible to the clinic. To them, it is my normal responsibility as the infirmary prefect. Instead of reading ulterior meaning into it, they abandoned Uriel to my care and focused on the game.

Carrying Uriel isn't my normal responsibility, it is beyond that. I worried about the most important person in my life; the girl I am reserved for and hoping she would see me, not just as a senior and her mentor, but as someone to develop a feeling for.

I lay her down on the clinic bed, extracted the handkerchief her bleeding was clotted with, and cleaned her blood-stained nose with distilled water and cotton wool.

I adjusted the pillow to keep her head lifted and comfortable; brought out a bottle of Silver Nitrate and inserted the applicator stick into her nostrils.

"Still hurting?"

"No, not anymore." She replied warmly. "Thank you."

"I should have been there."

"It is not your fault."

It is. It was my fault she bled too much. I was supposed to be at the field; not necessarily because of Uriel, but because my call as the infirmarian requires I stay within reach during extra-physical activities.

"Senior, Lisa," she called after a brief silence. "Do you serve water here?"

"I will fetch you some. Stay still."