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THE LOVE I MUST HATE

My name is Lisa and I am only attracted to girls. I realized that since the day I began to feel my genitalia. But no one must know about it; not when I live in a religious girls' high school. It is considered unholy to love a fellow girl. It is against the school rules, and a rumor about it will result in the expulsion of the involved students. I wouldn't want to be expelled. I fear the humiliation it holds and the disappointment it might bring to my parents. My parents sent me to this religious school for a sort of cleansing from my abominable choice of sexuality. Although they failed to understand I didn't choose to like girls, I do not want to be expelled back to them or see them hurt more than they are hurting. So, I dwelled in secret; surviving the co-habitation of other girls until Uriel came along. I couldn't resist Uriel's sweet sculpted face, endowed body figure, and perfect curvy lips. I couldn't withstand her charm. So, I decided to risk everything and have that 'unholy' relationship with her. For Uriel, I could face the world and fight, but I didn't consider if Uriel would want the same. After I kissed her and confessed my feelings, I saw maybe, just maybe, I should have remained in the closet and had my secret buried with me. Uriel received me with disgust, exposed me to everyone, and had me expelled from school. My life turned left. I hated myself for years and ended up living in lies about liking men. Now she is back, apologizing and professing her undying love. Should I believe she reappeared to love me right? Should I embrace my unquenched feelings for her or take on the revenge I've always wanted?

RosyKosy · LGBT+
Not enough ratings
13 Chs

MY GIRL, MY WOMAN

LISA:

The deafening church bell sounded aggressively into my ears.

This is one of the routines I dislike about schools managed by Reverend Sisters; the early bells announcing the waking time for morning mass is one I can give anything to avoid. But there is no avoidance when you live within the convent. 

Even as seniors and prefects, we are not exempted from the masses. While we have the privileges of having our designated hostel and washrooms, we must be part of the school obligations like every other student.

"Lisa…"

"What now?" I groaned in my bed.

Gabby has her bed beside me, believe me, I live in regret.

"Are you awake?" She asked

Gabby has nothing useful to share only lamentations of how she wishes she could afford a hot bath or miss the mass.

I hear those wishes every morning, but I am not hearing them today.

"Lisa…"

I ignored her and climbed out of my bed.

"Have you imagined a school without those bells?" Gabby went ahead to ask despite my muteness. "I have. It is peaceful and annoyance-free."

I smiled. No, it is too early to welcome Gabby. I frowned.

"Can you picture how cold the shower would be now, Lisa?"

It is 5 AM and yes, the shower ought to be freezing. There is no boiling pot of water, Gabby; this is not home.

I could have said that to Gabby, but that would provide initiatives for more talk.

Gabby is a classmate. She enrolled in Louis Nobis the same year as me. She is also a prefect which has us living in the room meant for school prefects.

I may not have a best friend and or the best circle of friends, but I relate with everyone. I am a friend of all and close to none. But Gabby is an active friend. For some reason, I can't get rid of her.

"Lisa…" Then Pamela, the Head prefect called softly and I turned to her, surprising Gabby with my instant attentiveness.

Pamela isn't the talkie and friend-zoned type. Her function was awarded to her due to her academic excellence and not because she has the capacity to head anyone.

"Hi," I greeted her.

Having Pamela in my space is significant. She isn't Gabby to utilize every moment for leisure.

"Uriel," she said. "She is calling for you."

Uriel?

"Is she well?"

"I do not ask. But she sounded urgent."

"Thank you."

I do not need to ask Pamela how she got the information. As the Head Prefect, she must rise before the morning bell, and parade every hostel to ensure orderliness. And from there, she had returned with a message from Uriel which I couldn't place the reason for the early summon.

Still in my pajamas, I hurried down to Uriel's hostel. Advancing closer, I saw her pacing up and down the entrance.

How beautiful and fragile she looks in her white night now.

"Uriel?" 

"Senior Lisa."

She ran to me and stood restlessly, biting and wagging her fingers.

"Hey, are you alright?"

"Senior Lisa…What should I do?"

I took her hand off her mouth and held it. "What is going on?" 

"I…" She turned cold and sluggish. When I thought she didn't want to talk, she turned around and showed me the cause of her predicament.

"Oh dear!"

"I woke up to it," she went low. "My gown…and my bed. Everything is stained."

Uriel is fifteen and this is her becoming a woman. She confided in me barely two weeks ago that she hadn't seen it, and here it comes, sudden and huge.

"It is a good thing." I tried to ease her.

"It isn't. I have made a mess of myself," she lowered her face to the ground. "Help me, Senior Lisa. I don't know how to handle it."

"Look at me," she lifted her face to me. "You have done nothing to be scared of. And believe me, Uriel, this…your stain, is a good thing."

I said as truthfully as required and she nodded.

"I was happy to see it," she admitted before slipping low again. "But I wasn't prepared."

"No one knows when it comes," I caressed her silky long her. "You have waited so long to welcome it."

"I have. I am finally a woman." She smiled boldly.

Oh, Uriel! You have always been a woman to me.

We went into her hostel, to her bed space, rolled out the stained bed sheet, and replaced it with another.

"I will wash them later," I said, folding the dirty bedsheet.

"No, senior Lisa. I should wash them."

"Don't get heady," I warned her. "Remove your nightgown too. Hurry, we must meet up for the mass."

Uriel withdrew her insistence on washing her bed sheet, and without considering my presence, she loosened her nightgown and stood naked before me.

I stood in shock at her exposed body. Uriel seemed unaffected and gradually walked to her hanger for a towel while I couldn't contain the dashing smoothness of her body, her young but robust boobs, her fresh thighs, and dear lord! Her bushy region.

I swallowed the loops in my throat but each swallow breeds a bigger loop. My thirst remains unquenched despite my salivating. I came down with thousand and one imaginations watching Uriel tie her towel around her.

It is usual for students to unclad before each other. We are girls, right? I have seen a lot of naked; rooms and bathrooms are shared but why am I sweating on Uriel's body?

I am seeing Uriel for the first time. She enrolled when I became a senior. There hasn't been a time we shared a hostel or washroom. There hasn't been a chance to see her beauty.

"Senior, Lisa…" Uriel shook me lightly and out of my explicit wishes. "You zoned out."

"Did I?" I collected her nightwear and folded it into the bed sheet. 

"Did you sleep well?"

"Not much." I lied. "Go ahead, grab your things. Time to freshen up."

A few students have begun to return from the washroom. It is about 5:38 AM, and it is expected they return to prepare for the mass.

I returned to my hostel, grabbed a pack of sanitary pads, hurried back to Uriel, kept it for her easy discovery, and hastened back.