Heart over Head

"I actually hate you!" I spit, pointing my finger and gazing angrily at my victim.

"I understand you do, but you have to understand! –"A voice replies loudly.

"Understand what?! Understand the reasoning why you just left me, why you just said all these lies to my face with such spite?!" I hiss, tears warbling in my chocolate eyes.

The room goes silent for a second and the light brown-haired man sighs, his face drops and any emotion besides sadness disappears. I take a deep breath and drop my hands to my side before plopping down on his caramel sofa.

"You never hear me out," He starts, his tone coated in sadness and I know he relived that day on repeat in his mind.

"I guess I wasn't ready to understand or relive that scene ever again when you confronted me. I completely drowned myself from that and I guess I never was the same," I say honestly, my shoulders lightened from the loads that slowly fell off my back and into the air.

"I'm so sorry I ever put you through that… I want to tell you why but I just can't E," He huffs, he glances up, looking into my eyes. Soft ringlets of gold swirled in his eyes and they held a softness.

I nod and bit the inside of my cheek, "Okay.."

I hated that he wouldn't tell me, that was the least I deserved right? Right? I just wanted to know what his reason was to do what he did, to end what we had like that, with no answers, no nothing.

"Don't be upset by that," He says, attempting to comfort me by placing his hands on my face, "It's something I have no power over, otherwise I swear I'd tell you!" He reassures, speaking as quickly as my mind was racing.

I know I shouldn't have felt the way I had, but my heart was racing inside my body, the sheer touch of his fingertips arose a thrilling sensation, one where I wanted him to hold me and kiss me like he used to, I wanted to feel like I had when he touched me years ago.

I closed my eyes and nestled my face into his hands, "Is there anything you can tell me?"

I felt him remove his hands and sigh deeply, "My mum," He whispers into my ear.

I gulp, I had never met his mum, "did she hate me?" I question.

"She hates everyone around me," He spits, looking down on the floor and hitting his foot against it.

"Why don't you just make it clear to her then?" I state, it made absolutely no sense.

"It's not that simple, Ev… I can explain it with time," He says softly, looking up at me with those puppy-dog eyes.

I smile, I had missed him so much, it hurt being away from him. "What?" He asks, shocked.

I look at him curiously, "what?"

"You just said something?" He says, putting my curiosity to rest.

Shit, I just admitted to him something that I hadn't wanted to admit to myself. I guess my body betrayed me and felt the comfort and ease of his presence and shed light on my deepest secrets.

"Crap, sorry I wasn't supposed to say that,"

He chuckles, that velvety noise was music to my ears, I hadn't heard something remotely that beautiful for a while. "God how I have missed you, Ev. You have no idea!" He blurts out, before placing his eyes on my lips. I felt my cheeks heating up.

"I have missed your touch, your passion, and love," He starts

"Your lips and kisses," He continues, his voice raspy and his eyes barely removed off mine.

"You, I've missed you," He ends and pulls himself out of his trance, pushing his body away from mine.

"Why did you move?" I cry out.

"I can't control myself around you and that is not how I want our reconciliation to go," He mumbles, looking away from me, his cheeks flaming red and his hands tense.

"What if I don't want you to?" I felt the need to shut my mouth, my heart began talking against my mind, I'm supposed to be mad at him!

He looks up, his eyes darkened and his lips pursed. "D-don't," he breathes out.

"Do," I whisper.

Before I knew he walked towards me picked me up, I wrapped my legs around his muscular torso and waited, no yearned for him to do something. Before I knew he propped me on a bench and started placing butterfly kisses on my neck, trailing all the way down to my breasts. My body was aflame and his kisses did nothing but fuel the fire. His fingers started tracing my hips, my body, before landing on my lips.

He looked down at them with a hunger I hadn't seen in so long before closing his eyes, "Are you sure?" he questions.

"I have never been so sure in my life," I reply hastily, and with that he placed his lips on mine. The passion alit in me, I felt a swirl of emotions rising in my chest and all it made me do was pull him closer. His tongue seeked entrance into my mouth, I parted my lips and our tongues tangoed. He had this insatiable taste, this sweet, powerful taste that I couldn't get enough of. Then it disappeared, his tongue slipped away and I couldn't taste him anymore.

I opened my eyes and looked at my surroundings, my eyes searching for him. He stood in front of me, eyes closed and breathing deep. "We c-can't," he murmurs.

"Why not?" I hiss

"Because it's not right, not unless I fix things with us," He finalises, cutting the air with his hand motion.

I bite my lip, "I-I got carried away," I say shyly, brushing my hand against my arm and looking away at the white walls of my apartment.

"So did I, I'm sorry," He apologises, turning my head towards him, "let me fix his first,"

I gulp and nod, "Okay Alex,"

With that he placed a soft kiss on my forehead and walked off, down the corridor where I heard a door shut, loudly.

I sigh, attempting to get my head in order, "I need a drink," I mumble to myself, opening up my pantry and reaching up on my tippy-toes to get my red wine bottle, one I had saved for a special occasion, I guess tonight called for it instead.