1 Behind The Scene

"The coldest soul have the deepest secrets and the warmest heart have the deepest pain"

I closed my book when i reached the end of my favorite story, it's my third time reading this book and yet i still can't get over to the phrases that the book has in the last part.

I can describe my life as a riddle, the more you're trying yourself to handle everything, the less you can solve it the way how should it seems.

"Millie, your dad is calling you" Our maid shouted in my room.

My anger lift up again, i can't remember the day i considered him as my dad, not before, not tomorrow, and not in a million days. Facing a demon everytime means you're already in hell, and living at this place made me feel that I'm no longer afraid in death because even the word hell won't shattered me.

"Where's Dale?" Mom asked me after i reached our dining room.

"Sella, let your eldest son go, if their father was able to abandoned them, maybe you have the right to do it too" The demon said while his stare is directed to me. "They're so useless to lived or even breath, now i know why their father didn't even made a glance to them before" He continue.

I laughed sarcastically at his face "So tell me, did breaking someone's family make you feel stronger?" My cold voice make our conversation more intense.

After those words he heard from me, i just taste some kind of liquid i never thought i would taste when i was a kid.

.....

"Mama, do you think papa will come home tonight?" I asked her delightful.

"Millie, can you please stop talking nonsense" She fired back.

My eyes went to her boyfriend, he's smiling at me. I pointed him "Maybe because of him, he should have left mama, we already have papa" I insisted.

"You know what Millie, if I was in his position I wouldn't come back just for worthless kids like you" He said pointing me. " I'm glad you're not my papa, because if i was in my mother's position, i would never choose you over him" I answered back.

His smile fade as his hand met my face "Leave this house or i will hit you again" He shouted.

"You're the one who suppose to leave this house, not me, and not papa!" I shouted back.

He grab my shirt and force me to walk, i tried to let go in his arm but he's too aggressive, he took me to our garage and push me hard on the wall.

"Get my baseball bat to teach your child a lesson" He said.

I glance at my mother, she's looking at my eyes full of disappointment.

Words accidentally came out from my mouth "If the time get changes and it's my turn to get the riddle on my side, there is no way for you to beat me" I said without hesitation.

After that i feel the hard bat hitting my skin, my bones endured every single hit and all i can hear is my loud scream full of hatred and pain. I close my eyes and i clenched my fist tight to stop my self from crying.

I looked up just to see my mom watching me from a far, I'm waiting for her to comfort me only to realize that maybe protecting me is the last thing she would do.

This is the last time i will show them my emotions, the way how hard it is , how mad i am or even how they words bring me pain , this is the last time i will glance to my mother just to look like a shit waiting to be rescued. This is the last time i will considered this place as home and this people as family.

I screamed in pain and cried silently until i feel numb and feels like no one can hurt me anymore.

....

That night, they shattered me into pieces, my comfort zone become my danger place, my fear to blood become my favorite violence and the women i treasured the most become the women i don't even care at all.