Chapter 13: The Cycle of Grief

Suzuki finally arrived at the convenience store he usually shops. After grabbing a snack and returning to his route, he started reminiscing about the lady who had died before him.

She was as soft as the cream bun Suzuki was eating as he remembered. Happy like the rainbow and as young as he is currently.

Kind and caring, she often smiled at Suzuki, but he would consistently hide from her due to his shyness. She treated him with respect and love, but he was too young to understand what it was.

Now he is too dense to comprehend it. Well, time went on, and people changed, but he always remained kind, gentle, and shy for most of his life. So cut off from the others. He was always watching on from afar, and she was always watching him from afar.

So kind to him, she died beside his feet. He stared at her face as she passed. It sent him into a deep state of shock, his body froze, and he watched her lips move to say something to him. He watched as she took her last breath, his ears ringing—his face sweating. Tears flowed from his face. He stood there, scared.

After her death, Suzuki went into a deep state of depression. Suicidal thoughts at the age of five and a suicidal attempt at six.

After therapy and mental assistance, Suzuki rebounded, but the foster life added more scares for the rest of his life. For the words he couldn't comprehend, he hated himself for them till this day.

"I wonder what she said to me that day." He held his bangs. "I bet she hated me at that moment. I bet she thought I didn't care to help her." A tear drizzled down his face. So he sowed it into his hoodie and kept walking while tears fell from his face.

Ring!

"Welcome in." Screamed the Kana behind the desk.

"Oh, Suzuki-san. Welcome back." She said with a smile, noticing that it was Suzuki.

His heart fluttered, and he replied slowly. "Hmm, thanks."

With excitement in her voice, she told him. "Come here, quick."

He rushed over and watched her pull out his computer. "So, it's all good to go, and I also got you a discount." She leaned her smiley face towards him. "I'm amazing, aren't I?" She asked him.

He grabbed his computer, held it close to his chest, and uttered. "Hmm, you are." She noticed and sympathized with him as a tear dripped down his face.

"Oh, hm." She expressed under her breath.

"Thank you, come again, Suzuki-San." She screamed as he walked out the door.

"Hmm." He replied under his breath as the door closed slowly.

"Okay, I can go home." He put his laptop into the bag. Then, he started walking back home with his red face buried in the hoodie.

At home, he creaked his door open slowly and announced. "I'm home." He took off his shoes, positioned and walked into a quiet apartment.

"Hmm, I wish there was someone to welcome me back." Suzuki wished as he sat down and checked the stocks app. "Oh, it's gone down?" He examined the chart. After analyzing the chart, he decided to invest a small portion in the tech company. "Maybe it'll do good." He said as he confirmed the buy.

He closed the tap and started studying for his upcoming project.

After some time, he stretched, and his spine cracked in relaxation. "Hmm, that felt good." He expressed as he got up from the ground. "I need food!" He shouted inside of his head.

He faked a smile when he returned from the kitchen with a cup of ramen. "Was Kana just nice to me, or does she care for me?" He said as he held his cup of ramen tightly.

"She treated me in the same way Karin did." A tear drizzled down his face. "I'm so sorry I couldn't help you." He said as tears started dripping into his ramen broth. "I'm sorry that I just stood there." He said as his face went red. Then, heat radiated from his body. Suzuki kneeled and grieved her death for the first time in his life, releasing the years of crying he held.