28 The Second (First) Battle of the Holy Grail War

At the insistence of the others in the Chat Group, Satsuki left her live stream on for them to watch as they went sightseeing around Fuyuki City. Satsuki had asked why not have Huang Luan of Theresa stream, but the response left a sour taste in their mouths as Kazuma went death seeking again when he said that Satsuki has the best vantage point. Although they didn't say anything, both Huang Luan and Theresa made a mental note to repay this grievance later.

Only a few of the group members were able to stay and watch the live stream the whole day, Kazuma, the Emperor of Man, and Nurarihyon. The rest still showed up every so often, but they all either needed to be at school or deal with other work. Satsuki was originally opposed to going out during the day, as a Dead Apostle, sunlight will hasten the degeneration of her body. But Huang Luan threw her an umbrella and told her to deal with it. As the evening approached, more of the group members came online while Huang Luan, Satsuki, and Theresa came across an unusual coffee shop, Ahnenerbe.

"Battles for the war usually take place at night, so lets stop here for a break before we look for some Servants," Huang Luan says.

But as the three of them cross the threshold, they are greeted by some strange employees, or at least they think their employees. They're small, only several tens of centimetres tall. They have cat ears and a cat tail, along with exaggerated chibi faces. Greeting them at the door is one that bears a strong resemblance to a certain True Ancestor.

"Huh, Neco-Arc? Is that you?" Satsuki asks.

"Oh, it's the girl with a minor role nya. But make no mistake nya. I'm not that ancient relic from the last decade known as Neco-Arc. Through the power of "Re:make" I've been reborn nya. You can address me as Lumi-Arc, the Shining Cat nya."

"We should go somewhere else," Satsuki says, urging Huang Luan and Theresa out of the shop.

"Why? I think this is a funny place. Employing small cat-like creatures seems interesting," Huang Luan says.

Due to Huang Luan finding the whole place amusing and Theresa thinking the Neco-Arcs cute, Satsuki was reluctantly forced to stay and endure the various remarks that Lumi-Arc threw at her for 30 seconds before they sat down at a table in the back. But for a moment a dark thought swept through Satsuki's head, to use a command seal and have Huang Luan pick a fight with Lumi-Arc, but this thought disappeared just as quickly as it appeared.

Putting down her menu, Huang Luan asks, "So what are these creatures?"

"Uh… I don't actually know. But that one caller herself Lumi-Arc always say things like how I don't have any major roles or how I'm just a minor character whenever I see her," Satsuki says.

Konakona: "Isn't it sad, Sacchin."

Mr Fool: "Those who have access to the almighty internet, can you search up just what those cat creatures are?"

Advocate of Gender Equality: "Neco-Arcs are Neco-Arcs, just accept it."

Konakona: "I could give you another answer, but nothing answers this question better than that. Neco-Arcs are Neco-Arcs, just accept it."

After a couple of minutes, Theresa calls for a waiter. Not long after a Neco-Arc who looks similar to Lumi-Arc comes to the table.

"I'll have a Blue Mountain," Theresa says.

"Un-Un-Un!!" the Neco-Arc says as she nods rapidly.

"Um, is it possible for me to have blood?" Satsuki asks.

"Un-Un-Un!!"

"A regular black coffee for me and the blueberry pie for the table," Huang Luan says.

"Un-Un-Un!!"

"Is that all you say? "Huang Luan asks.

"Un-Un-Un!!" the Neco-Arc says, still nodding rapidly.

"Weird, but ok. That'll be all," Huang Luan says.

After around an hour and thirty minutes, the three of them had long finished their drinks and the pie, having been distracted by both the Chat and the Neco-Arcs. Finally remembering they originally only came here for a quick break, they pay for their meal and leave Ahnenerbe. But as soon as they leave, they sense a battle taking place between Servants, the fluctuations for the battle coming from the wharf.

"This little shop is stranger than I first thought. It even blocked out perceptions of what was happening beyond its walls," Huang Luan says.

"If you're going over there, can I go back to the hotel? I don't really want to get involved in a fight," Satsuki says.

"What are you talking about? As my nominal Master, you should be accompanying me," Huang Luan says.

"Then where were you when you left us alone last night?" Satsuki asks.

"That was that, and this is this," Huang Luan shrugs nonchalantly.

Without giving her any time to argue, Huang Luan throws Satsuki over her right should and then picks up Theresa with her left for good measure, carrying them both with her as she runs towards the battlefield.

Within moments Huang Luan arrives on top of one of the shipping containers, distorting the light around her to make herself, Satsuki, and Theresa invisible to the eye. The area has been beaten badly over the course of the fight between the two Servants, a blonde-haired woman gripping what seems to be an invisible weapon and a man dual-wielding a yellow short spear and red long spear. Based on the information that Konata and Kazuma gave previously, this should be Artoria and Diarmuid, Saber and Lancer respectively. Some several metres behind Saber is Irisviel von Einzbern. Looking around, Kiritsugu Emiya and his assistant Maiya can also be found lurking in the background in tall vantage points, along with one of Assassin's bodies crouching on top of a crane. And Lancer's Master Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald is standing atop a building behind lancer, staying hidden from most people's point of view.

"I should have realised it sooner. A red spear that destroys magic, a cursed yellow spear, and beneath the right eye, a mole that enchants women. First of the Knights of Fianna, Diarmuid of the Love Spot. Never did I think I'd have the honour of facing you," Saber says.

"Such is the pleasure of the Holy Grail War. But it is I who have the honour here. No hero summoned by the Holy Grail could ever mistake that golden blade. To face the legendary King of Knights and land even a single blow, I must be pretty damned good. Now then, since we both know the other's name, we can duel honourably, as knights should. Or does this displease you, occurring only after you've lost the use of an arm, Saber?" Lancer asks.

"You jest," Saber says, equipping her armour, "It's humiliating that you would show me concern over such a scratch."

As the two of them move into fighting positions, Lancer says, "Prepare yourself, Saber. Next time, you're mine."

"Only if I fail to strike first, Lancer."

But before either of them can make a move, bolts of lightning crash into the ground around them as a chariot carried by two bulls fly through the sky and lands between Lance and Saber. As the dust settles, a tall muscular man over two metres in height with burning red hair and beard, wearing bronze armour and a thick red mantle with a fluffy white collar. Next to him is a comparatively smaller Englishman with neck length black hair. According to Kazuma, this is Iskandar also known as Alexander the Great, and his Master Waver Velvet.

The giant spreads his arms wide, slightly alerting both Saber and Lancer, "Both of you, sheathe your blades. You are in the presence of the King! I am Iskandar, King of Conquerors! In this Grail War, I am of the Rider class."

Panicking, Waver shouts, " Wh-What are you thinking, you idiot?" Only to fall down by receiving a flick to his forehead from Rider.

"Fate has brought us together to do battle for the Grail. But first, I wish to make a proposition. What think you of yielding the Grail to me, and joining my army? You would be treated as honoured allies. And together, we shall share in the joy of world conquest!" Rider shouts enthusiastically.

Lancer shakes his head, "I am afraid I must decline. I may give the Grail to but one man: my new avowed lord. Not to you, Rider!"

"Did you interfere with our battle merely to proffer that ridiculous plan?" Saber asks.

"I'd be willing to discuss compensation," Rider says.

"Shut up!" Both Saber and Lancer yell simultaneously.

"And further, I am the rightful King of Britain. I could never lower myself to a mere retainer, even in service to a mighty King."

"King of Britain, you say! What a surprise! I'd hardly have expect3ed the King of Knights to be a little girl," Rider says.

"Then would you like to taste this little girl's blade, King of Conquerors" Saber takes a fighting stance once more.

Rider sighs, "I suppose negotiations have failed. Such a waste. What a shame…"

"Rider!" Waver yells as he lightly knocks on Rider's side, "What is wrong with you?"

A voice echoes throughout the area, "So you were the one, eh?" causing Waver's face to contort in a panic. "I'd wondered what madness had compelled you to steal my relic. I never imagined that you yourself planned to enter the Holy Grail War, Waver Velvet." Stepping out from behind his hiding spot Kayneth slightly reveals himself but still remains hidden from the perspective of most, "How would you like me to offer you a private lesson? How mages really kill one another. I'll teach you all about the pain and fear involved. You should feel honoured."

Kayneth's words send Waver panicking as he crouches down and clutches his head. But his mind clears as Rider pats his back.

"Mage! So you were to be my Master, rather than this boy. Absurd… only one brave enough to ride the battlefield at my side could ever be my Master. A coward who lacks sufficient courage to show himself is nowhere close to being worthy! Hahahahaha! And there are others as well! Out there, skulking in the darkness!"

"What do you speak of, Rider?" Saber asks.

Giving her and Lancer a thumbs up, Rider continues, "Saber. And Lancer. Your duel was magnificent. Surely, the sound of your blades called other Heroic Spirits than myself here. Heroic Spirits, born again through the Holy Grail, gather here and now! Those too craven to show themselves will draw the scorn of Iskandar, King of Conquerors!"

Within a few seconds, golden sparkles appear above a lamppost, revealing the golden Archer class Servant that "killed" Assassin, Gilgamesh.

"So, two lesser beings dare to name themselves Kings, even in my presence."

"I fail to see where the problem lies," Rider says as he scratches his face, "I am Iskandar, the legendary King of Conquerors."

"What nonsense. I am the one true King. All others are mere pretenders," Gilgamesh says.

"If you're that insistent, then why not name yourself? No true king should be troubled by giving his name," Rider asks.

"So you would question me, pretender? Me, the king" Gilgamesh says as he stomps on the flickering lamppost, breaking the light beneath his feet, "If, even in the presence of my glory, you cannot discern my identity, your blindness will seal your doom!" he shouts as two golden portals appear behind him, each revealing a different bladed weapon.

"I see, so that's how he killed Assassin," Rider says.

Saber hurries to Irisviel's side to protect her, meanwhile, Gilgamesh points the weapons toward Rider. In the immediate standoff, before anyone can launch an attack, a black cloud appears and as it disperses, a black suit of armour covered in a dark air is revealed.

"Agrrgargh!"

"Berserker?" Saber says.

"Hey, King of Conquerors. Were you planning to ask him too?" Lancer asks.

"He doesn't seem terribly interested in negotiations, does he?" Rider says.

At this moment Huang Luan finally reveals herself. Removing her distortion on the light, she appears right behind Berserker in her jade hanfu, with Theresa beside her and Satsuki behind her. Instantly she kicks Berserker into the air and into the ocean.

"You call yourselves Kings, but Kings are merely subjects of the Emperor," Huang Luan says with confidence. "But the King of Conquerors has a point, a monarch should have no trouble revealing their true name. I am the Caster class Servant, the Jade Emperor!"

Huang Luan's words have caused Theresa and Satsuki to look at her strangely, who does the girl think she's fooling. Even the other Masters are having strange thoughts after looking at her status. What kind of Caster kicks a Berserker through the air like he's nothing with pure physical strength while also having a rank of E- in Magical Power. Although some of the people present are paying more attention to her claimed identity.

"Impossible, the Grail isn't supposed to summon heroes from East Asia, let alone summon a God," Irisviel says.

"Look back 60 years and say that again. To my knowledge the Einzberns broke the summoning rules in the previous war," Huang Luan says under the direction of Kazuma and Konata.

On this note, Irisviel has no response. Her family did indeed break the summoning rules in the previous war. Although the end result wasn't satisfying in the slightest.

"First the King of Knights and the Jade Emperor. How many more Kings are actually little girls despite being remembered as male?" Rider asks.

"I already have a distaste for Gods, but you dare to put yourself above me you Mongrel!" Gilgamesh says, opening more golden portals and aiming them at Huang Luan.

"A mere Demigod King dares to point their weapon at the Emperor, you're courting death. You don't the immensity between heaven and earth," Huang Luan says.

Advocate of Gender Equality: "She said it! She said the famous Chinese lines!"

Mr Fool: "..."

Blackstar: "..."

As nearly a dozen weapons fly out from the golden portals, Huang Luan says, "By the will of the Emperor, projectiles avoid people."

As Gilgamesh's weapons get close to Huang Luan, they all suddenly swerve in other directions, avoiding Huang Luan. Thick clouds of dust obscure Huang Luan's body as all the weapons crash into the ground around her.

"By the will of the Emperor, the elements follow my will. The wind shall carry away the dust and lightning will bring the golden king down to the earth," Huang Luan says as a gust of wind comes and blows the dust away, followed by a sudden bolt of lightning that destroys the lamppost Gilgamesh is standing on.

"You Mongrel!"

But before Gilgamesh can do anything more, Huang Luan instantly closes the gap between them and throws him into the ocean. Taking the opportunity, Gilgamesh's Master Tohsaka Tokiomi uses a command spell to quell his anger and return, but because of Gilgamesh's own initial refusal out of anger, Tokiomi is forced to use two command spells. At the same time, Berserker also jumps out of the water.

"Arghrh!" Berserker roars as he stares at Huang Luan.

It's not just Berserker, but all the other Masters and Servants are warily looking towards Huang Luan. The only exceptions are Kiritsugu and Maiya, who have their snipers aimed at Theresa and Satsuki. In Kiritsugu's eyes, Huang Luan is definitely the strongest Servant in this Grail War, far outclassing the others. But all Servants share a weakness, their Master who allows the Servants to maintain their presence in the world. A quick look at the hands of Theresa and Satsuki tells him everything he needs to know, the Master is the girl in a high school uniform.

"I'm ready to take action on your mark," Maiya says.

"Wait, take a closer look at the Master. Red eyes and exaggerated incisors, she's a Dead Apostle. But why is she with a member of the Church, nevermind this isn't important."

While this conversation is taking place, Huang Luan instantly reappears next to Theresa and Satsuki. Looking up toward where Kiritsugu is hiding, she sports a provocative expression.

"Maiya, we won't be able to deal with Caster's Master tonight. We aren't equipped to deal with a Dead Apostle right now and we'll likely die in the retaliation from Caster," Kiritsugu says, lowering his gun.

Watching Kiritsugu's actions, Huang Luan nods in satisfaction the turns her attention to the others watching her, "What are those looks for. Don't worry, I won't be taking any more action tonight. I only needed to show the golden King his place. It is beneath the Emperor to take action personally against the unworthy. Be grateful for the magnanimity of the Emperor. For if any aggressive action is taken against us, then it shall be my retainers that deal with you," she points to Theresa and Satsuki.

Most of the others, specifically the Masters, don't believe her. But the Servants don't believe she's lying. After all, someone in her position has no need to lie.

It doesn't take long before Berserker's attention shifts from Huang Luan to Saber. Grabbing a nearby lamppost, it turns black with many red lines across it, he quickly rushes at Saber. After the two exchange a few blows, Saber is pushed back, but right before Bersker can land a fatal blow, he's intercepted by Lancer.

"That's enough messing around, Berserker. Saber has a prior engagement with me. If you insist on interfering, you'll have to face me," Lancer says.

"Lancer…" Saber says.

"What are you doing, Lancer? This is your chance to defeat Saber," Kayneth says.

"I, Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, will defeat Saber. I swear on my honour! If you insist I kill her here, then I will first defeat that mad dog. Please, my Master!"

"With my command spell. I order you…"

"My Lord!"

"Help Berserker kill Saber."

Although he initially tries to resist, Lancer's body is forced to strike at Saber.

"Saber, I'm sorry," Lancer says, clenching his teeth.

Saber quickly glances toward Irisviel as she takes a fighting stance, "Irisviel, I shall hold them here. While I do, you must run. As far away as you can get," but with no movement from her she continues, "Irisviel, please!"

"It'll be fine, Saber. Believe in your Master!" Irisviel says.

As Lancer and Berserker run at Saber, thunder can be heard as lightning streaks through the air as Rider's chariot charges at the two of them. Lancer dodges, but Berserker is directly hit and sent tumbling a few metres away.

"Ah. This is a tough one," Rider says, as he watches Berserker struggle to get up only to disappear from view seconds later. "As you can see, our black friend will be retiring for the evening. Master of Lancer. I know not from whence you're watching, but do not sully a battle between knights with your petty tricks. Have Lancer withdraw. If you insist on humiliating him further, then I shall join Saber. Together, the two of us will annihilate your Servant. What will it be?"

With a slightly irritable tone, Kayneth says, "Withdraw Lancer. That's enough for tonight."

"My thanks, King of Conquerors," Lancer says.

"It was nothing. I enjoy watching the flowers of a battlefield in bloom.

Saber and Lancer nod toward each other before the latter leaves in spiritual form.

"When you first arrived, what was your intent, King of Conquerors?"

"I try not to think too hard about such things. Saber, first, settle matters with Lancer. And the, I shall face the victor, be it you or Lancer. And then the next victor will go on to fight the Emperor of Heaven," Rider says.

He turns his attention to the trio of Huang Luan, Theresa, and Satsuki, who are all seated on the ground eating popcorn from who knows where.

"Ahahahah, have you been enjoying the entertainment?" Rider asks.

"It's passable," Huang Luan nods as she stands up, "I'll look forward to the next battle, I'll be watching."

Distorting the light around herself and the two beside her, Huang Luan and company return to the hotel.

A/N: read the thing below for some context on Huang Luan in combat.