It's a bot! But also human! (4)

Before being literally propelled butt first into this world, I remember reading long description of ships' interiors and grandiose features those could get installed from components brought in official shops.

I just decided to stick with the modified Star Commuter 2000 I was given to. I called it Cannon Fodder in honor of future kamikaze attacks with this little transport-bullet.

Yet no matter how precise and bored I wanted to be in that moment, I was far too focused on a more important question that was butchering the remaining bits of my sanity.

Blue: I think the ship is more important-

Yellow: Nonsense! We are debating over a big issue over there!

I was procrastinating really badly as I continued to stare blankly at the toilet and you would be right to bash my head and ask me what would possibly cause this kind of distress.

Green: WE CAN'T POOP!

Blue: So you mean to tell me, that the crux of our existence as of now is... the bathroom.

Green: Yes and no, Bluey. The 'crux' is that we have been deprived of a safe space and a common excuse to avoid discussions or events.

Blue: ...What?

Yellow: If shit comes to hit the fan, may it be literally or not, we need to have a little haven from BS bigger than us.

Blue: But why the bathroom?

Green: Because if I go in a closed bathroom I can have, theoretically speaking, some privacy from people. It's rare for people to barge inside occupied toilet stalls.

Yellow: Thank God we are not in some Anime...

Blue: For some reason I cannot decipher, I feel like you have jinxed us.

-Date: 7955 C.R.C.

-ETA Kamino: 8h, 12m, 34s

Green: At least nobody is raiding near our path...

Yellow: Maybe we should check the package Fishy left us.

I froze for a moment as I remembered that Wat had placed a curious box in the small cargo bay and I had yet to check what it was.

Jumping off my bed I walked towards the room that had been fitted to house supplies and equipment.

The variety was minimal as there were only E-5s, some thermal grenades and a lonely rocket launcher with three-four rockets by its side.

The box had a small panel that required a pass code and I 'frowned' at it for a moment.

Blue: Try with our name.

I nodded and inputted '4-2-8' in the keypad.

-Access Granted

A quick but soft sound effectively showed that the box was now ready to be open.

Yellow: ..What is that?

It was a blaster rifle.. but not one that should have been available in this period in particular.

I brought the gun closer to my 'eyes' and.. I was excited!

Blue: This has to be a prototype, there is no way in hell that this is already available in the market.

Green: The A280 blaster rifle was something that would be used quite commonly by the Rebel Alliance in the Sequels. Sure, Wat had surely some shares and assets in BlasTech Industries but- Oh!

Blue: With Wat Tambor not allying with the CIS, there is no reason for the foreman to be removed from BlasTech's committee. That means we got the weapons from both canon CIS's AND Republican arsenals.

Yellow: So it's like Battlefront II weapon-wise?

Kind of.. yes.

Yellow: Yay! ~We going to paint this 'verse in red~

Blue: ...Are you going to let him go mad because of this?

Green: Of course not! I will just direct partial moments of insanity and try to-

Blue: Avoid war crimes?

Green: Maybe some might be... required?

Blue: Sorry, but I fail to see how war crimes can be useful and morally correct to apply in any possible situations.

Yellow: Well, didn't we broke some Geneva Convention's stuff by going ham at the droids and you didn't mind there.

Blue: Droids aren't alive!

Yellow: SHAME ON YOU, I STAND WITH THE ANDROIDS!

Green: He is right! I love that little thing Connor, him and his inner struggles..

Blue: You are both beyond redemption... Anyway, what we will do after Kamino.

I placed the gun back in the box and thought about it.

Blue: Attacking Coruscant?

Green: Too many people between me and Sheev.

Blue: Naboo?

Yellow: We are not going to take a sloppy second kind of invasion!

Blue: Argh! What about Tatooine?

Green: I- Actually that could be a possible new step.

Yellow: I don't know, man, I... I don't like sand.

Green: I fucking despise you and your Prequel loving.

Yellow: Those weren't that bad-

Green: You are going to be silent for the next four hours for those disgusting words you just uttered.

Yellow: B-But-

Green: NOPE! You went too far and now you are going to the silence corner.

Yellow: ...I hate you too, dad.

Blue: I... As we were saying, Tatooine is our next stop but.. what should we do?

Green: I mean dealing with that overgrown worm might be too much annoying-

Blue: But he is a criminal warlord!-

Yellow: And was killed by Leia with her own chain!-

Green: I thought I had you confined away from the discussion, Yellow, try again to challenge me and it will be ten hours!

...

Green: Anyway yeah, Jabba is kind of a jerk but... eradicating such a massive empire? Maybe later when we got our massive army behind us.

Blue: That is... acceptable. Then we try to.. save Anakin's mother?

Green: I mean is that actually the right thing to do? Changing so much for the 'Greater Good' and BS like that?

Blue: Let's.. put this in a way you can see and approve. If Shmi Skywalker lives, the Tusken would live without getting obliterated by Anakin.

Green: ...Yeah and so?

Blue: If they live then they would be able to... preserve themselves better?

Green: I don't think- Actually, I think I got an idea about Tusken and Jabba now.. hehehe~

Blue: What are you-

Green: Secret!~ It will be a funny thing to pull if possible.

Blue: ...Do I need to be scared?

Green: Don't worry, Bluey. I don't plan to spark some small-scale war... at least not directly.

I paused just a moment as I felt something buzzing near where I was now sitting and I noticed it was the communicator Dooku once owned.

Blue: And we had stolen.

I ignored the baseless accusation as I decided to check who it was.

The hologram appeared and I stared right in the barely visible mug of one Sheev Palpatine.

Yellow: He looks better than he does in the Sequels.

Blue: Are you serious? You mean you.. don't know?

Yellow: Know what?

Green: The whole 'lightning redirected back to his face' thing.

Yellow: Oh that? Yeah- Wait, that caused his face to become like a fugly prune?

Green: Yes.

Yellow: Damn that sucks..

"Hello there, Siddy , you look positively murderable there."

The cloaked sith blinked at the greeting but his lips twisted in a disdainful expression.

"Who are you, where is Dooku?"

"Dooku is not there... anymore." I put my hands together in a praying gesture. "He joined the Force because he was a noob."

"Impossible. You have surely captured him-"

"Nah, killed. I mean, I got his fancy blade and the device so... dead and depredated."

Two orange eyes were now visible in the shadow created by the cloak. "You useless piece of junk I-"

"Will whine a little, send some assassins and then return to plot the creation of the Galactic Empire and the destruction of the Jedi Order."

...

"How-"

"You could try to use the Force but... Midichlorians are a helluva nerf to deal with."

I chuckled at how the very change everyone hated mostly in the Prequels was what was helping me to this very moment and will be quite useful in the near future.

"Blame the reformers at Lucasfilm, Siddy."

"WHO ARE YOU?"

If I had a human face, I would be smirking smugly at the furious bastard.

"My name is Sheev Palpatine, current chancellor of the Galactic Republic, murderer of former political opponents and grand manipulator."

The 'great' sith kept silent as I continued to mock around his 'hidden' identity.

"I wish you some sweet dreams, Sheev, as I might come to visit you sooner than you think."

The last bit was a bit fake as I couldn't literally approach the man without getting the entire Republican Guards, Jedi and politicians against me.

He seemed now ready to answer again, but I decided to aim my newest blaster at the device and incinerate it quickly.

As much as I would have liked to irk the chancellor, I didn't want to bust my current advantage of being undetectable.

ETA Kamino: 4h, 10m, 45s

Blue: Four hours already?

Green: Time pass quickly when you have fun... I wonder what kind of reaction Sidious will have when he will notice I am literally impossible to find.. hehehehehe~

Blue: I swear, one day we are going to get murdered by being this much cocky..

Yellow: Bah! Party pooper!

-----------------d-d-d-d------------------------d-d-dd----------------------------d-d-dd--d

FYI The C.R.C. Calendar or Hosnian Reckoning is one of the most common calendars in the Galaxy.

I bet some expected me to go Zerk, but I remind ya all that the 'soul' is still 'human' in nature. Stretching it too much would shatter it and... we don't need to have another 'Voldemort' case on our hands. Plus yes, I did jinx about something up above but it is going to be gud!