348 Heartbreak
"You must be very excited," the lawyer's voice echoed through the receiver. Anna realized her daze only then, standing motionless. She quickly forced a smile, "No, I mean, I'm excited ..." Yet the desolation and confusion in her eyes couldn't be concealed. In the brief pause, her gaze began to lose focus. Hearing the lawyer's voice again, she snapped back, perked up, and thanked them for their hard work, her words disjointed, her expression complex. "I just did not expect this to really happen."
Bitterness and complexity lingered in her voice, indelible.
Hanging up the phone, Simon had a surprise prepared. He covered Anna's eyes, leading her carefully into the living room, where he unveiled the surprise. He had replaced the old wooden chair with a brand-new, soft leather armchair.
Anna was at a loss, gazing at the chair, then at Simon. She couldn't muster any words, just exclaimed in awe, but her voice lacked even a hint of excitement.
William looked at Anna on the big screen, standing there dumbfounded, perplexed as she looked at the leather armchair. She didn't know whether to feel happy or sad, joyful or regretful. The loss in her expression conveyed her past. She wore the repaired bracelet on her wrist, wanting to do something but not knowing what, what she could do. After much hesitation, she turned and left.
Leaving behind the leather armchair, silently resting before the desk.
William finally closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Yet, the bitter taste on his tongue remained, caught like a lump in his chest, suppressing his urge to scream, his emotions jammed in his throat, making even breathing sour.
Anna held a small celebration party; her parents came to London to celebrate her promotion.
Upon learning that Simon strictly controlled Anna's alcohol intake, to the point that there was no whiskey, her father's favorite, even a bridge between her parents and Jacob; upon learning that Simon urged Anna to wake up at 6 AM every day for a jog, breaking Anna's habit of sleeping in; upon learning that Simon even changed Anna's diet, making all her food health-conscious...
They were all somewhat shocked, somewhat astonished, not knowing whether to be happy or angry, or perhaps worried. Her father pitied the changes in his daughter, but her mother silenced him with a look, politely echoing Simon's philosophy of life. Yet, her eyes were concerned for her daughter, her lips tugging into a slight smile, watching Anna's faint smile.
Simon proposed, right in front of them. The room suddenly fell into silence.
Mother didn't speak, father didn't speak, Anna didn't speak. Only Simon was talking nonstop, expressing his enthusiasm and sincerity.
Anna's expression seemed distant, as if her eyes had lost the trace of her soul. Even the light couldn't help but slip away from her, the world gradually dimming.
Hope knew she shouldn't continue crying, but the tears just wouldn't stop.
She was no longer certain, nor did she persist. She didn't know whether Anna should choose Jacob or Simon; she also didn't know whether Jacob should choose Samantha or Anna. Anna and Simon, Jacob and Samantha, all of them were happy, weren't they?
But Anna and Jacob, they were Anna and Jacob, the unique them, just like they had gone mad.
Hope didn't know what to do either.
In the end, Anna chose Jacob. She broke up with Simon, resigned from her job, terminated her lease, and headed to Los Angeles. Jacob broke up with Samantha, she moved out of the studio, he tidied up his room, and he went to the airport to pick up Anna.
Yet, Anna began to feel estranged. This city, the city that had left countless footprints, now felt utterly unfamiliar. Stepping onto this land again felt like crossing into another world.
Jacob still prepared a bouquet of flowers, along with their favorite whiskey... But when alcohol touched Anna's lips, she no longer enjoyed it. It seemed she had grown accustomed to days without alcohol.
For Anna, everything had to start from scratch. First and foremost, she needed a job. But it wasn't so simple.
After browsing job listings to the point of exhaustion, Anna decided to take a shower. Jacob reassured her that she would find a job soon and went along with her.
Beneath the showerhead, they embraced tightly, but the surges of emotion/desire were no longer present.
Anna leaned her head on Jacob's shoulder, absentmindedly gazing into the corner. The confusion and loss between her brows rippled beneath the splashing water. A mouthful of bitterness and lamentation remained unspoken. The focal point of her gaze slowly dissipated, as she tried to find a trace of warmth in this embrace, failing.
Beautiful moments from memory flashed through her mind: Jacob's smiling face, his gaze, his dance. Anna's lips unconsciously curved upward, only to be quickly tugged down heavily, almost unbearable.
Jacob embraced Anna tightly, rubbing his cheek against her neck, trying to find that familiar warmth through their skin. Yet, his gaze lost focus in the shimmering droplets of water. His movements started to become meaningless, a weighty sorrow and bewildered loss swirled between his brows. His actions froze in place.
Fragments of happiness in her mind, Anna's eyes, her laughter, her little gestures, tumbled in her vision. The sweeter the memory, the more bitter reality seemed. A gentle exhale, her chin slowly resting on Anna's shoulder, yet quickly lifting again. Almost imperceptibly, creating a slight distance.
There was no happiness as imagined, no anticipated romance and beauty, not even the excitement of their reunion. Everything was so plain, so plain it made one's nose prickle. Tentative probing, polite formality, lost bewilderment—slowly they spread between the two.
Anna finished her shower, picked up a towel, and left the bathroom. Jacob raised his hand, attempting to grasp Anna's arm, but he was half a beat slow, missing it. His hand fell weakly, then he lifted his gaze, watching Anna's retreating figure. A forlornness and sorrow without a place to rest emerged beneath the water droplets of the showerhead. He remained there, frozen, motionless.
In the depths of those deep brown pupils, a wooden stillness took over, replacing the once starry eyes that had held the entire night sky, leaving behind only a dimness.
The movie had ended.
The entire theater plunged into darkness, the silence hanging in the air like a heavy blanket. The boundless darkness gradually enveloped each person, much like a tide. A weathered and hoarse voice emerged, like a canoe skimming across the surface of a pitch-black ocean, "You may call it in this evening, but you've only lost the night"
That mesmerizing voice was like algae, binding her ankles. Slowly, it tugged her downward, submerging her into an underwater world of absolute silence and darkness. Only the lonely soul screamed out:
[
And I'm climbing over something
And I'm running through these walls
I don't even know if I believe
I don't even know if I believe
I don't even know if I believe
Everything you're trying to say to me
]
Hope felt like she was suffocating. She couldn't catch her breath. She pounded her chest harshly, yet still felt starved of oxygen. The burning and bitter emotions filled her with panic.
She should be happy, shouldn't she? After all, Anna had ultimately chosen Jacob. She should celebrate, right? Jacob and Anna had finally come together. She should applaud, shouldn't she? They had surmounted countless obstacles to be with each other.
But why couldn't she smile? The bitterness and powerlessness concealed behind the happiness were so overwhelming. They completely shattered all her defenses, rendering her speechless. Even her tears felt shallow. The floodgates of her tears had burst open, yet not a single sound escaped, even though she wanted to cry and scream, even though she wanted to howl. The scalding tears burned her cheeks and chest, refusing to stop.
[
So open up my eyes
Tell me I'm alive
This is never gonna go our way
If I'm gonna have to guess what's on your mind
Say something, say something
Something like you love me
Lest you want to move away
From the noise of this place
]
Again and again, that desperate and painful cry echoed, clear and piercing, tearing at her heart. Tessa clutched her knees tightly, curling up, biting her lower lip forcefully. Her sobbing was stifled in her throat, and her whole body started trembling uncontrollably.
Why? Why was it like this?
It was supposed to be a happily-ever-after ending. So why was it so bitter she couldn't find words? They had finally overcome their difficulties to be together, so why was it so sorrowful that she couldn't contain herself? They loved each other so deeply, so why did they hurt each other so badly... Why?
The ending was so blissful yet so cruel.
Ever since Simon gave Anna that leather chair, Tessa's tears couldn't be contained. They flowed incessantly. She could feel their sadness, their pain, their helplessness, their bitterness, all searing her heart, making it ache speechlessly. Seeing Anna's helplessness, seeing Jacob's confusion, her heart felt as if it were torn into countless pieces. They had come together at last, but they had also bid each other farewell.
"Ugh." Tessa exerted her utmost effort, yet the sound of her sobbing couldn't be controlled as it leaked through her lips. Then, the lights in the theater slowly brightened, warm rays piercing the dense darkness, stinging her eyes. She buried her head in her arms, her tears wetting her knees.
They could never have each other again.
