01 Drifting in the Void:

As my eyes close to the world, I suddenly found myself in world of darkness I could not see anything, ¨ Wasn't there supposed to be a tunnel of light I know wasn't a saint, but I couldn't have fallen in hell, right? ¨ I thought to myself. 'Are you satisfied with what you accomplish in life' a voice said 'Huh is anyone there' I ask surprise by the sudden stranger that address me 'fufu indeed I'm here' the voice answer me 'Who are you?' I asked 'Who am I indeed well there is little time so let me ask you again are you satisfied with how it all ended' I thought about my life what I achieved, what I didn't and ultimately about how I died as I remember my past I felt emotions of regret, hate, I felt useless the more I remember my life. I accomplish nothing If I think about it probably for the best I died I would not have survive in the world I would have suffer a lot at least like this someone will remember perhaps as their hero for little while and yet there was only one answer I could give 'I'm not however I think this was for the best as I am useless person I am trash who failed at every aspect of life I was destined to world of pain and misery if I'd continued living. When I think of that this way is best' I said 'Oh what cold and logical way of viewing it but I ask you do you blame your circumstances for your failure in life or perhaps you parents weren't good enough?' he ask me curiosity implied in his voice 'Hardly I would be foolish to say my circumstances were at fault I was certainly not rich but I never lacked anything my parents did their best within their possibilities the only one who failed was me by the time I realize did It was to late I wasn't strong enough to climb out of that hole I let myself fall in.' I replied 'Hahaha what complete and utter imbecile I was just useless trash and My life was inconsequential but at least in my death I was able to save someone even if that person was also a fool and annoying at that' I said exasperated at the memory of a woman that was chasing me without even looking before crossing 'Honestly what a fool!... Hehehe' I laughed for some reason I myself didn't know 'I see you are really hard on yourself even in death… You really are special but in bad way you died saving someone else that in itself is a very noble thing to do and yet you still describe yourself as trash and as useless…' the voice said for the first time felt it speak with disappointment or was it sadness 'Well I don't see any merit to my life at all that single action doesn't change a thing about my life but I already accepted it…. It's finally over I feel relief in a way although I'm bit sad for my parents who will experience burying their useless son… Who couldn't even die properly after they where gone…' I felt a great pain and sadness at thought of my parents having to bury me ' I'm sorry mother… father… forgive your useless son I have repay all your years you spent in raising me with only disappointment and pain…' I said to myself I felt my surroundings get changing it was hard to describe it was this darkness was devouring all my emotions and growing 'all this darkness around us is because of you… this is the darkness you harbored all your life and it really is terrifying and surprising you held all these negative emotions within you and didn't go mad or committed suicide' the replied 'you even when and died for someone else… so I have proposal for you… the truth is you won't be able to move on all this darkness that was in you is very terrifying indeed it has latch on to your soul it will not allow you rest you will remain trap within this dark world filled with nothingness what's worse the girl you saved will be affected it seems the thing you carry within you has already latched itself to the girl and well it took your soul with it..' the voice said tiredly I felt at was it thinking how to confide his next words '' The truth is the girl will die eventually no one would be able to hold this within themselves she will go crazy or killed herself really she not particularly strong willed to endured this I don't want to say this but your demons will kill her' it said in a cold voice 'My demons…. Huh what do you mean I don't understand' I replied confuse ' Mmmm its hard to explain but all this negativity you kept locked within you has adopted parts of you its also alive in its own way it even went as far as trapping your soul because it perhaps feels identified with you so your sense of self was not lost when you died in reality this is really troubling because I can not predict what it will do now it not longer locked within your body I don't particularly feel strong hater in it but I feel this cold and endless hunger it to be frank it's a little scary' it said to me in cold voice ' So since you cant move on in this world how about you take it with you. when I send you to another world, to a new life and a new chance to live the life you wanted in a world that more suited to your way of thinking and your fantasies… What do you say?' It ask hurriedly 'Huh what did you just say…. Your joking right I am dreaming this is .... Ridiculous another world you're talking about isekaing me hahaha that's well unbelievable that its actually a thing' I couldn't hide my doubt and amazement at what I'd heard 'Well it is possible and yeah pretty much I am reincarnating you into another world... are you excited? Well at any rate please make your mind I know I said I don't feel any particular hostility in this thing that has your soul trap but it's appears I doesn't want me interact with you and it trying to devour me and it really quite disturbing' he said alarmed 'another life….' I said a I was thinking to myself if retain this self who has learn a lot of lessons, I would definitely not fail the next time and I don't even have a choice he said that girl was going to die if I didn't accept right?... what a bother even I died saving her it will be meaningless if she goes and dies because of this… as I was thinking the voice spoke again 'So what it going to be I am sorry to say this but I am my limit here So decided now a new beginning or will you stay resting in this…well void' ' But I have many questions regarding this before I can decide' I said alarm ' Look I have at best 2 minutes before I have to leave you so let me give you a general overview you will retain all your memories and sense of self in this new world because otherwise this thing will not follow you to this other world as for your abilities I will give you a lot of my spiritual energy most of it in fact although this new world is not overseen by us with this much energy you will surely be quite gifted in this new world… Hero material with all the perks that entails so I spoken quite a bit time is almost up what say you!' he yelled I was really not sure a hero, I will never be that even he told me but I had nothing to think about hearing him one more chance to achieve happiness… 'I accept but fuck the hero business I will live for my sake and not for sake of saving strangers' I declare ' Hahaha you're really interesting I have few words for that declarations but unfortunately what I don't have is more time so… Goodbye I wish you happiness and luck in your new life' he replied in warm voice and the last thing I remember is I felt was this feeling this energy filling me I could feel something changing with me as I descended into this darkness being pull far away so I could only think one thing 'Goodbye Adrian rest well within the new me that will be born and know I will not let it end like this again all your pain and disappointment will give this new me the strength to reach the life we want so sleep now and thank you for your hard work' I said to myself I could almost see an image of me in front of me looking back at me as I lost consciousness I thought this is probably the nicest I have been to myself in how long how ironic I had to die for me to show a little love for myself…. What a shame..