He Didn't Change

Without realizing it, he was already in front of me, touching my face gently which I had missed for quite a while. However, that longing suddenly became a knife that sliced ​​my feelings slowly, which I could feel all over my body. 

I froze at the moment. I didn't even notice that his warm lips had touched mine by giving a gentle kiss and then getting wilder.

The alcoholic scent of his breath was so strong. It got even sharper as his tongue penetrated my mouth through the rows of my teeth, then explored my oral cavity by licking my tongue; biting my lower lip; then returning to crush it wildly and full of lust.

He acted so sudden. Without preparing myself, it made me surprised. I immediately pushed his body to calm myself down who was a little dazed because of his kisses.

However, he was completely reluctant to give a long pause and pulled my face back and kissed me even more wildly, even his hand started entering my thin pajamas roughly.

The treatment didn't make me feel good, so I pushed him back hard so that I could move away from him a bit.

He frowned instantly, looking at me with a different cold gaze from the beginning. It made me worry about his demeanor by showing repressed anger. He asked in a low voice that sounded cold, "Are you still mad at me?"

I didn't answer him and just kept staring at him with disbelief in my eyes.

In the silence of the two of us, suddenly my cell phone rang in the bedroom and immediately dissolved the cold tense atmosphere between us. Donghwa shifted his gaze to our bedroom where my cell phone was, then turned his eyes back to me with a frown. Nervously, I went into our bedroom to pick up the phone.

However, after seeing Daehyun's name on that incoming call, something terrible flashed through my mind like Mars that was ready to hit the earth. Then, I asked him hesitatingly, "What's wrong?"

But, without answering, he instead replied by asking me back, "Chunghee, I thought that you were asleep. Why aren't you sleeping yet?"

"Oh, um, I ..."

I couldn't continue my sentence. This nervousness felt like griding my bones when I saw Donghwa standing next to me and observing my conversation with Daehyun on the phone right now.

This was bad. Daehyun was calling at the wrong time.

"Chunghee, are you okay?"

"Ah, um ... yes, I'm okay."

Daehyun heard sighing softly, then said, "Hey, I'm sorry because I couldn't keep you company while you were in the hospital. I was really busy. Next time, I'll come to your place to see how you are."

Hearing his words, I replied immediately, "Ah, no, no. It's fine."

I thought that Donghwa would just stay behind my back. But, all of a sudden his hand slipped back into my pajamas and caused an uncomfortable amusement.

While continuing to hold back my voice, I said to Daehyun slightly stammered, "Dae ... Daehyun, it's almost late at night. I ... I have to take a rest ...."

Hearing this, Daehyun agreed and then hung up the phone.

But, mentioning his name might be a mistake.

After talking to Daehyun for a moment, Donghwa suddenly turned my body towards him roughly, then pressed my cheeks quite hard. It shocked me and grimaced in pain.

Donghwa shouted right on my face, "Daehyun?!"

I tried to let go of his hand on my cheeks, but it was in vain. His strength was too strong and he was suppressing them with great force even more.

"Who the fuck is that bastard?! That name sounds familiar!" with a pause, he continued, "Answer me! You have a mouth to explain this shit, right?!" while saying, he threw my face away violently.

My face ached so badly, but I tried to endure it. By touching my sore face, I answered softly, "He's a president in the company where I work now ...."

I stared at his red face with anger which was showing a mounting emotion and made me even more scared.

"Oh, so he's ... the rich man — a boss who calls you at the time like this ... ridiculous!"

I was speechless. He didn't change at all and he was even getting worse. However, as usual, I was the one who had to blame myself and gave in for the sake of our relationship.

Fortunately, he might be exhausted, so he didn't argue about this any longer and turned around, and then he walked away while taking off his suit. He went into the bathroom to take a shower.

Trembling, I laid back down, curling up in the blanket. No matter how hard I held back from crying, my tears had lost their pride and rolled out on my face without any embarrassment.

However, so that Donghwa didn't see my sadness, I tried to hold back my tears and wiped them off by using the blanket.

Not long after, Donghwa came out of the bathroom and immediately put on the black pajamas that he usually wore, then laid down beside me.

His hands hugged my body from behind. I could also feel his breath on the nape of my neck. He said softly, "Chunghee, I miss you so much. You don't even want to answer my call. Did I really make you mad at that time? I'm sorry, okay?"

It was quite a relief when he no longer thought about Daehyun. But, the other thing that was still bothering me and causing even more disappointment was, Donghwa had never asked about how I was right now. It made me think that he didn't care about me anymore.

I didn't want to hear his words about whether he missed me or not, neither did the word 'sorry' he said. If he thought that I was angry then yes, I was angry, but I couldn't show it to him. I just wanted to hear him saying, 'How are you doing now?' it would make me delighted.

"Chunghee, I miss you so much." while saying, he started kissing my neck, gently but also prickling my heart.

Without turning around, I said calmly, "Donghwa, I don't feel like doing it right now."

"Why? Don't you miss me? Are you still mad at me?"

I sighed silently, then turned around to touch his face with genuine compassion, "I'm not mad at you. But I just want you to understand that I just got out of the hospital today. I can't do it."

Hearing this, he sighed in disappointment, "All right, then take a rest. Good night."

He was showing a smile, but I could see that it wasn't sincere before he kissed my forehead. He then got close to me with his hands were still hugging my body.

I could only grip the blanket tightly, holding back the tears in my eyes and swallowing the screams in my throat.

I knew that I still loved him from the bottom of my heart, but this relationship was already on the brink of chaos. If he didn't change and kept lying on me, I couldn't stay on top of this unbearable thing any longer. It was like walking through flames where if you didn't burn to death, you would die from inhaling poison. But, if you even made it through, it would still leave scars on your body.

All of this just needed time to die or get hurt.