Dear Diary

Dear Diary, Does it count as a diary if I'm telling stories of the past? maybe one day it will be of the present, or am I writing a story, a story for myself.. maybe one day someone who needs a lift up will find this story.. this diary and it will help them. "ALICE GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"

My father yelled at the top of his lungs.. I knew I had done something wrong, I was wearing a long blue gown, my hair a straight long platinum blonde and I have blue eyes.. My eyes we're always my favorite part about me, the only thing I could fully say I liked about myself I always had a thing with the human body, In fact I take interest with many things.. anyways back to reality. I made my way down the stairs holding up my dress gripping it tightly.. My father's voice even when he's happy, it's cold.. cold twords me, terrifying, and dark. "WHY THE HELL IS THERE NO FOOD ON YOUR TABLE?!" He yelled with anger even though I'm standing right infront of him. I curtsied "Hello father, good morning to you too." He slapped me, I felt the sting against my face I held my hands behind my back to avoid touching it, when I'm around him I always feel insannificat I feel like I'm always wrong, like a mistake you may say. "YOU UNGREATFUL BITCH, I TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND YOU DONT EVEN COOK AS I TELL YOU TOO?" He paused and glared at me giving me a moment to suffer and feel bad.. it worked, it always does. I held in a brake down bound to happen. I always seemed to find the person that hurt me the most, was myself.. I am my biggest rival. My father only fed my negative thoughts twords myself. "YOU ALSO LEFT THE OVEN ON YOU IDIOT! YOU COULD HAVE BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?" he continued to lecture me, but that was all I heard. I was trying to control my thoughts.. "I hate my father.." I thought "No.. I hate myself, it's my fault.. I can't blame him for being angry. I'm such a retard." I thought many more negative thoughts were going threw my head.. I imagined him beating me then I woke up to reality to a "HURRY AND COOK ME SOME FOOD YOU BITCH!" he glared at me in silence as I stood still "WELL, YOU GOING TO STAND THERE LIKE AN IDIOT?" he started to calm down a bit.. "Sorry, I'm just "hungry"" He looked apologetic, he did that a lot had an outburst and blamed it on something. He's not finished he never is, that's one of the worst parts. "If you would just do what we told you to do everyday, we would not be here, AND WASH THE DAMN DISHES!" he walked off calmly and called a friend acting like nothing happened.. that bothered me too, but what else is there to do? complain to everyone? no. I began to cook I made eggs and biskets and put it on the table on three separate plates. My older brother purposely knocked his plate over and blamed it on me. "Bitch." Trever and my father said at the same time.

After they finished I began to clean the messes that we're made and we heard a loud speaker go off from outside. "Hello people of the Gramarham kingdom, As you know every 10 years the 12 kingdoms gather up for the Grand Ball. Where the princes choose there future queens, and the princesses dance with there father and one princesses from each kingdom give a speech for their kingdom, to impress other rules and hopefully win a princes favor, or even a proposal to the princesses." he took a pause. I knew what was happening and immediately got scared, for what was next.. "One female from each household ages thirteen threw eighteen will be required to attend this ball, as a showcase to the prince." he paused again. I panicked knowing I was the only female with those ages in the household, my father would make me go because if I was picked the whole family would live in riches. I'd haft to leave Spade though, and become a "proper" princess. I'm already a bad maid.. this can't happen, I won't get picked anyways. "The ball will be held Friday the 13th, So get ready leadies! The princes will be glad to meet y'all all, have a good afternoon." clinnnk' It stopped, my father was behind me without me noticing it made me startle and fall.. he looked down upon me. "If you don't get picked, Your going to the streets where a slut you are deserves to be." He walked away. ... I was speachless.

Well sorry that's all the time I have today, see you next time. Goodbye, my diary.