Chapter 186: Last Gift (2)
Clasping both hands together, her eyes shone sanctified, something that made Toru feel a dazzling blinding light prickling his eyes.
'What a strange girl...'
The donkey talking about ears. Toru took Sakura in his arms, causing her to feel confused.
What he had seen before was the tallest building that entered their field of vision. If they could get to that place, they'd have a good view of the city. He thought that would interest Sakura, so, without warning her, he gave a mighty leap that lifted them into the air.
"Ahhhhhh!"
Sakura was obviously scared out of her wits, but after seeing Toru's expressionless face, she relaxed and just watched silently. It was surprising to her the fact that, at this moment, Toru is jumping over the air.
There is no platform for Toru to lean on, he was simply creating them using his perfect mastery over ninjutsu.
'You are very warm, Onii-san'.
She felt the wind pass by her face at the same time she felt the warmth of Toru's body.
He was no longer cold like he was at first. It was a strange feeling for her, but this....
'I really like this...'
***
After that, they suddenly stopped on the solid roof of the tallest building Toru could find. Sakura felt them slam on the brakes and opened her eyes.
"Uh...? I think I dozed off a bit..."
Toru sighed after hearing her say that. He carefully lowered her down until the girl's feet touched the ground.
"So we're here for this, huh..."
Sakura looked at the city and smiled.
On his side, Toru walked over to the edge of the building and sat there. Without looking at the girl, a strange question popped into his mind.
"What colour is the soul?"
...
"The soul?"
...
Sakura thought carefully.
"Well, if I had to put a colour to souls, I'd say white."
"I see..."
Toru looked up at the sky.
"I think souls are red. Like roses, wine, or blood..."
This was quite confusing. From the ordinary person's point of view, the soul would be one colour, mostly white or sky blue, or in strange occasions green, but Toru looked at red souls.
He thought this because of the experiences of his two lives.
For Toru, that red colour represents impurity, dirt, because in his two lives he lived covered in his own blood and the blood of other people.
"Souls are red because they are contaminated with the sins committed in life. Souls are red because, but for those sins, no one could see them, no one would be worthy to see such purity."
'My soul is also red...'
For her part, Sakura took this as a teaching from her mentor. She nodded her head after what Toru said and tried to give more depth to those words.
'If souls are red... Then we all, no matter how different we are, will always have something in common.'
The soul is red, Toru had just made that up, yes, but thought about it from an objective point, it was an undeniable truth. The blood waiting inside Toru, accompanied by the bloody souls of all the people whose lives were extinguished at his hands, were proof of that. Or maybe that only happened with Toru?
It was strange, but somehow he was always linked to the concept of 'soul'. Even in his life as Alek he could manipulate a certain element that came out of human bodies after death.
At that time, Alek didn't know that what he had in his hands were human souls, but nowadays, if Toru himself were to think about it, he would realise that it is true.
He could even see and hear the souls of his Akatsuki friends. That was no mere coincidence. His eyes, his very existence, something strange had been going on with him since the beginning of it all. Then there was the hazy memory of that sunny day on the roof of the mansion. The moment he fell into the void... Was there something in the sky?
"Only we can decide whether to let our souls turn red and gloomy, or remain hidden as something non-existent. A perfect soul..."
Sakura said, sitting down next to Toru.
"I don't think there is such a thing, but... if it's possible... I don't think it's a good path to choose. Okaa-sama often says that humans, whether they are Magus or ordinary people, we all have flaws, we are all different. Onii-san is reserved and mysterious. Onee-san is brave, energetic and outgoing, but she doesn't like to lose. I... I am very shy with people other than Onii-san, Onee-san and Okaa-sama. It's hard for me to talk to other people, I get nervous easily and words don't come out of my mouth, but... I know I can improve. I believe that, in the end, a red soul is not a bad thing because if we have red souls, then that would be the irrefutable proof that we were alive."
Toru, upon hearing that last remark, immediately looked Sakura in the eye.
He was sure he said something very similar to Aoi a few months ago.
And to think that such a young girl would think something so grim. Still, he...
"I see..."
He smiled slightly as he looked out over the city.
'What's on your mind, Onii-san? I'd like to know what's on your mind. You're always so mysterious, so serious... though it's part of you that I like the most. You're very nice, but it's embarrassing to say it out loud...'
There is a feeling that most human beings discover over time. Be it in their childhood, adolescence or adulthood. At this moment, Sakura was getting to know that feeling the more time she spent together with Toru. It could be said that that is the typical thing that a girl feels for an older boy, because they have attitudes that the boys of their age don't have.
That's right, Sakura likes Toru. What she felt was the typical innocent love that girls of her age feel for people closer to her. With time that love will change or even disappear.
Thinking about the feelings that were slowly boiling in her heart, Sakura stood up and looked down over the edge of the ground. The place was very high, but she wasn't afraid of heights. Instead, she smiled and said into Toru's ear.
"Onii-san..."
Toru opened his eyes at the sound of Sakura's voice and immediately saw her fall off the edge of the building. In a millisecond, he reacted, using the wall of the building to propel himself down. Because of this, the wall was damaged, but none of that mattered when Sakura had just jumped down.
It was an immediate action, as Toru embraced Sakura and braked in midair using Fūton to create a draft to slow down the speed of the fall.
"Why did you do that!"
Sakura, snuggling into Toru's chest, opened her eyes and smiled.
"Because I knew you were going to catch me. Onii-san is very kind even though her hands are full of other people's blood. 'Assassin, that's what I am' That's what you said the day we met... I don't think you're bad, but you haven't done good things either. Your soul is red and so is mine."
He didn't know how to respond to what Sakura said anymore. This girl sometimes said quite strange and gloomy things. Sometimes this became a bit uncomfortable for Toru. Plus she would say those things with that innocent smile on her face.
In the end that was a bit disturbing.
"Haa... let's go back to the mansion."
"Not yet. I still want to stay together with Onii-san a little longer."
"I'll have to deny your request. It's almost time for Kirei-sama's training."
"Hm... alright..."
-Later, in a different place-
"And that's all you're looking for, isn't it?"
With his calm expression, worthy of a self-confident Magus, Tokiomi sketched a relaxed smile looking directly at the old man across the room. The old man wore a traditional yukata of a strange green, gold-like colour, and a black robe over it.
The old man was the very epitome of what it is to be a 'decrepit old man', for he had a deep look on a pale, skeletal face.
"Huh. You'll know by now that the last generation of my family has been a bit... disappointing. In a Magus family you need a pillar to hold up the magic of the family. That's why I called you here with a proposal. It is up to you to make the final decision. To sustain the ties between our families and preserve our magic..."
Tokiomi gave this some thought. A golden opportunity presented itself for him, one might say.
He already had his heir, Rin, so Sakura was extra in the family. If this old man adopts Sakura and instructs her in magic, it would be beneficial to both parties. Tokiomi strengthens his connections to this family, leaving a part of himself in this (Sakura).
"Zōken..."
Closing his eyes relaxed at Tokiomi's strange gesture, which looked him in the eyes while maintaining that emotionless smile, the old man responded to his name with a grim look and a gloomy smile.
"I find it hard to believe that you have made such an important decision in just a few seconds."
Tokiomi was that kind of man. His hand did not tremble when he had to make decisions that would benefit him and his family.
"You underestimate me, of course. If anything, you can adopt Sakura. Teach her your magic and raise her as someone who can inherit the secrets of the Matō family. I don't think anything else matters after that."
Zōken shook his head while chuckling. At the same time, a strange bug, more specifically, a strange worm that wriggled disgustingly on the ground, crawled under this old man's robe.
Tokiomi didn't seem to mind this, so he simply walked in the direction of the exit after coming to an agreement with the head of the Matō family.
"I'll bring Sakura back in two days."
"Hehehe... you can still regret it, Tokiomi."
Stopping dead in his tracks, Tokiomi turned around and looked at Zōken with vacant eyes.
"Why should I regret it?"
Zōken fell silent after hearing that.
For ordinary people, it would be unthinkable to literally give away your daughter to another family, but Tokiomi thought of the benefits of this, but not the process it would involve.
After that, Tokiomi just turned around again and walked out of the gloomy and gloomy mansion of this Magus family.
-Tōsaka Family Mansion-
Lately, meditating had become something Toru did frequently. He would sit on the roof of this mansion and try to keep his mind blank, pushing away all the negative thoughts that bothered him every day, but....
'It's very difficult'
No matter if Toru tried to make his mind blank, again the past was projected on that white void like an old movie.
He no longer knew what to do to appease that throbbing pain that constantly reminded him of who he really is. Still, even though his heart is too fragile, he continued to endure it. It will all end when he takes the Holy Grail in his hands and makes his final wish.
'Only then will I find peace...'
But what will happen when his wish is granted? No world is going to change if he just disappears, right? He wondered ....
'What will happen to them?'
Aoi, Sakura and Rin seemed more animated than usual when he was there.
Is it okay to make this wish when other people are happy? Won't disappearing ruin that happiness? Those were the thoughts that popped into his head like boiling water.
He is the one who sacrifices himself for the happiness of others, no matter how much harm it causes him, if others are happy, then he will be happy too.
'That day...'
On his new birthday, they all seemed to enjoy Toru's existence. Is this okay? Does he deserve this?
'I... do I deserve another chance?'
A very different thought from a few months ago. Toru, who is subject to the changes around him, thought this would not be possible. He had adapted to this new life and that's why it was so strange to ask as a wish to disappear from existence. And that's why he thought again....
'I... What should I do?'
A new dilemma has arisen in his mind.
However, interrupting Toru's meditation, a woman's trembling voice was heard. He approached the window of the room where the voice was coming from and listened secretly.
-Inside the mansion-
Tokiomi was telling Aoi about the decision he made.
At first she was shocked, but then, hiding her feelings deep in her heart, she nodded her head and accepted it easily.
"When will Sakura go to the Matō?"
"The day after tomorrow. I'm already preparing the whole legal method. I'll also tell her early tomorrow morning. Then she can pack her bags and leave."
With a coldness that was not normal for a human being, Tokiomi smiled and looked the confused Aoi in the eyes.
"In our family, Sakura won't be able to emerge as a Magus, however, if she joins the Matō family, who don't have a worthy heir, that would change. If we look at it objectively, it benefits us as a family."
Walking beside Aoi, opening the door with a certain sickly elegance, he walked out without even listening to this woman's opinion.
***
Left alone, Aoi fell to her knees on the floor and, on the other side of the window, Toru saw her crying silently.
At this moment, Toru just sighed tiredly and leaned his back against the wall.
Aoi's sobs, like a gentle rain, after a long five minutes, slowly faded away.
...
In the end, Toru thought:
'A happiness that was ruined...'
-The next day-
Tokiomi looked for Sakura and talked to her about something.
Toru looked from the window of the house and knew immediately what that man said to Sakura, because the girl made the same expression as Aoi. She didn't refuse. This may be because Sakura was overwhelmed by the sudden interaction with her father, or maybe because she somehow thought it would help her get Tokiomi's attention.
She did not refuse, and even if she wanted to refuse, she could not. The decisions of the head of the family were absolute and the rest of the family had to accept them. That was the reality of the Magus.
After that, as he used to do with Rin, Tokiomi put his hand on Sakura's head and smiled at her.
She felt confused, for this was something her father had never done for her.
"Onii-san will be left alone..."
On the other side of the window, Toru frowned.
'Why are you thinking about me right now, silly?'
He didn't understand how this girl felt so much affection towards him.
The people closest to him simply develop feelings of affection towards him, though he had no way of knowing.
'So... Sakura will go to another family...'
A feeling of emptiness spread inside Toru, who looked up at the sky letting out a long, lonely sigh.
***
That same day in the afternoon, Sakura kept looking for Toru. She couldn't find him and that was too strange.
'You're always on the roof. Where did you go?'
Well, from Sakura's point of view you couldn't see Toru, but he was up there, lying on the roof, letting the sun cook him like a skewer.
"Onii-san!"
She said, and Toru opened his eyes. He sat up and looked around. After that, she felt Sakura's presence and immediately appeared in front of her.
"What?"
He said, and in response, Sakura....
"Hehehehe."
Seeing him appear with that poker face so typical of him, somehow her heart was filled with happiness. Sakura laughed without realizing it, causing Toru to tilt his head in confusion.
To her, Toru was a very cute and kind boy, very different from the elementary school boys who usually teased her for being too shy. To her, Toru had become indispensable in her life. Maybe... he was the one who pulled her out of the darkness she was getting into....
"Is something wrong?"
"It's nothing. It's just that I'm glad to see you..."
"We see each other every day. Why should you be so happy?"
"Because Onii-san is Onii-san."
"¿...?"
"And Onii-san won't forget about me..."
A pained expression, but with a gentle smile that hid the feelings rising in this girl's heart very well.
Toru lowered his gaze, for at that moment he saw something that really bothered him.
Sakura had the same expression as that child who became the messiah of a corrupt world. That expression, hiding everything that lies inside. It bothered Toru that this child looked so much like her past self. Still, even though it bothered him, he looked back into Sakura's eyes with his usual expressionless face.
"What gives you the assurance that I won't forget you?"
She replied by reiterating something she had already said.
"Onii-san is Onii-san."
"Haa... those words lack logic."
"Even if it has no logic to you, it has a very clear meaning to me. Onii-san is Onii-san, and nothing will change that. Besides, you should know that by now..."
Toru knew what Sakura was referring to so he nodded his head.
"Ojou-sama will be adopted by another Magus family."
"...Why are you using such respectful honorifics again? Call me Sakura."
"Sakura..."
"Yes. Well done. Good boy."
She said as she stroked Toru's hair.
Feeling Sakura's small hand on his head, Toru remembered when Aoi did the same thing on his birthday. From there, the idea of giving this girl a present popped into his mind. Even though it's no longer winter to wear the woolen gloves Sakura gave him, he still kept that gift as something precious. It's true...
'Sakura's birthday has passed...'
She deserved a present, or at least that was what Toru thought deep in his heart.
That's why he brought his hands to the side of his head and removed his earring from his ear. After doing this, he walked up to Sakura and looked into her eyes.
"Uh? Your earring...?"
"Sakura gave me something for my birthday. I couldn't give you anything on your birthday so accept this as an apology."
Helping her put on the earring, Toru tilted his head to the side as he observed this girl's appearance.
"Hm... it looks good on you."
"Really? Thank you..."
Toru nodded her head at this.
"This earring was one of the few birthday gifts I received from Okaa-sama. Actually, it was two earrings at first. Okaa-sama bought them with the intention that they would be a surprise for me. So, on my birthday, she jumped behind me to scare me and the box with the earrings fell off in the process. The earrings went flying across the room. When we tried to look for them, we could only find one, the one I just gave you."
Toru smiled slightly, as if that memory gave him a slight nostalgic feeling. In response to this boy's little anecdote, Sakura felt a little bad for having received this gift.
"Something so important to you... I don't think it's right for me to receive something like that."
Shaking his head, Toru stood up.
"Don't worry. It's a gift. Okaa-sama would be happy to see me gifting something to someone."
Sakura's eyes sparkled with stars.
"Your mum sounds like a very lively person."
"She was. Too much for my taste, but she was my mother..."
She turned around and looked up at the sky.
"And I failed to appreciate that..."
A regret throbbed deep in the back of his troubled mind. Twisted, painful memories, throbbing through time...
Sakura looked at the lonely boy who hid what he felt, just as she did. She felt the earring in her ear and closed her eyes.
"Thank you, Onii-san. I will cherish your gift until the end of time."
And it was these words that broke the depressing atmosphere that had formed.
Lowering his gaze, Toru nodded with a soft, gentle smile on his face. That red soul overflowing with blood could perhaps have one last chance. Despite the torments he has been through, there was still a trace of hope in that heart that has been broken into a thousand pieces.
"Well, it's still early. Do you want to go for a walk for a while, Toru-oniisan?"
The boy sighed.
"Yeah..."
After that, these two spent the whole day exploring the city and making a few last memories before the day ends.
-Later in the evening-
Sakura lay sleeping inside her room. And at the same time, like a shadow in the eternal darkness, with bright rainbow eyes looking directly at death, on the other side of the window, that boy watched silently.
The air was extremely cold, but Toru did not flinch. He looked at himself in the metal of the dagger in his hand, looked at his own eyes in silence.
An inheritance from a person from this world. Bright and dangerous, capable of causing harm to anything that comes near. Brightly coloured and extraordinary. Mystical, in every sense of the word.
"What am I supposed to do?"
An answer that shows you the right path. Something to help you understand these painful emotions you are feeling right now. A redemption for all the evil that stains his hands with the colour of blood. Something... someone...
Someone...
Please...
Help me...
The pain of someone who can't understand himself.
-The next day-
That's how this first year ended. Toru was watching her at that moment. With the petals of the cherry trees dancing in the wind, with a gentle breeze in the morning, Sakura, holding hands with her father, looking at him with a smile, she whispered.
"Thank you..."
And he just looked down as Sakura walked away. At the same time, inside the mansion, through one of the windows, Rin watched silently.
At that moment, she lost her little sister.
***
A few minutes after Sakura left with Tokiomi, Rin came out of the mansion and went to the garden. There she saw that boy who spent most of his time together with Sakura.
"What are you doing?"
She asked, and Toru answered:
"The usual..."
Staring at the flowers with a dull gaze, with that cold and lonely aura from the first time he was here.
Rin walked over to him, and bent down to look at the flowers beside him.
...
"Hey, Assassin..."
"What?
...
...
"Are you an Assassin...?"
...
...
"I am..."
...
...
"I see..."
...
Drip...
...
"Hey, Assassin..."
...
"What...?"
...
...
"Is there something you regret?"
...
"Yes..."
...
...
"I see... so do I..."
...
Drip...
Drip...
...
He had only been listening to Rin talk, not taking his eyes off the flowers. Silently... he listened to the girl's sobs...
"I regret... that I didn't spend more time with Sakura..."
...
"Yes..."
"Uh?"
Rin, confused, looked at Toru for the sudden response.
"I felt something similar once..."
A feeling that lingers to this day.
-Matou family mansion-
Sakura was a little nervous, as she had just arrived at her new family's house.
The house was quite large, but somehow the place looked dark and gloomy. However, next to her Tokiomi seemed to be quite familiar with this place.
The front door opened and out stepped an old man, Zōken. The old man nodded gravely as he saw Tokiomi and the girl beside him. Silently, he stepped aside and waited for Tokiomi to allow the girl to move forward. This didn't seem like a problem, as Tōsaka touched Sakura's shoulder.
"It's about time."
"Yeah..."
Sakura walked forward with her suitcase and entered the house, but not before asking permission from the old man who was waiting patiently. When she set foot in that house, a horrible shiver ran through her entire body. Almost immediately she looked back to see her father, but Tokiomi was no longer there.
She looked down, then...
"Goodbye, Otou-sama..."
"I'll show you to your room."
Zōken walked in front of Sakura, and she followed him silently, accepting the fate that awaited her.
***
Her stay up to this point had been fairly normal. Well, it had only been a few hours. It seemed that the only one present in this house was Zōken, as the other family members were not in the country at the moment.
The old man gave Sakura the option to continue exploring the house on her own except for a few places that the old man himself described as scary.
So that's what she did. She went through the entire house to familiarize herself with everything in here.
"Somehow... it feels very lonely..."
Empty corridors and rooms. Shadowy, strange areas.
'I think... this is getting too uncomfortable. I'll go to my room'
A little nervously, she made her way to her destination until she saw it with her own eyes. However, looking out the window, she realised that the sun was already setting.
Drip...
Drip...
And as she saw the evening light, tears began to fall down her face. She didn't know that parting from someone would be so painful and unfair. Everything was going well. Everyone was happy at the time, but now everything was ruined. Rin, her older sister, didn't even say goodbye. Aoi wasn't there either, but she said goodbye the night before. And Toru, she knew that boy wouldn't say goodbye in a normal way, so she considered the gift that boy gave her as a form of farewell.
'Onii-san... right now you... are looking at the flowers, right?'
Imagining that scene that had become so everyday for her, she smiled. She opened the door to the room and entered. Silently, she walked over to the bed and looked at everything.
The room, unlike the rest of the house, was more colourful. The window was a bit big, so the sunlight filled the whole room.
Sakura lay down on the bed and looked at the ceiling for a long time.
'I should wait too...'
Staring at the flowers, staring at the ceiling, hoping that someday everything would go back to the way it was, Sakura slowly closed her eyes. She felt mentally tired. In a few hours her mind was exhausted and now she needed to rest.
...
***
A cold breeze sent shivers down her spine. Under her back, Sakura felt a hard, cold surface.
Uncomfortable, she opened her eyes and realized that this was not the room she fell asleep in. Everything was quite dark, but she could still see a bit of the place. A stone-walled place, lonely and gloomy.
'My clothes...?'
Looking down at herself, she understood why she felt so cold. Her whole body was naked. Unconsciously she covered herself with her hands and, frightened, looked for a way out with her eyes.
Her eyes wandered all over the place until, in the darkness, she could see some stairs leading to a place on the surface.
She quickly got up from the ground, covering her body with her hands, but a shadow appeared at the exit as she did so.
It was Zōken, who looked at her with an expressionless face.
"Zōken-sama... What's going on?"
She said with a trembling voice, and to answer him, Zōken shook his head.
"I took the trouble to bring you to this place for the beginning of your training. From now on you will be the heir to the magic of the Matō, formerly known as Makiri. I don't think you are familiar with our teaching methods, so you will have to see for yourself."
Slimy sounds, as if something foul was moving in the darkness, sounds that echoed in the empty room. Sakura didn't understand what the old man had told her, but when she saw what was moving in the darkness, her eyes widened in fear and she fell to her knees on the floor.
"What is that...?"
Zōken answered him:
"Kokuinchū [Worm Emblem] They are familiars that consume magical energy. The worms will enter your body and modify your magical circuits as they devour your energy, granting you the ability to perform sorcery. Though it may be a bit painful at first."
The old man turned around ready to leave the room.
"Then... let your training begin, Matō Sakura."
"Zōken-sama... please..."
Sakura tried to climb the stairs, but the worms had already taken over that part of the room.
Unable to escape, Sakura tried to get away from the disgusting worms crawling on the floor wriggling grotesquely, but they were filling the place completely.
It all happened in a few seconds. The worms surrounded her, searching for the magical energy that lay in this girl's body.
"No... Get away! Noooooo!"
The worms finally reached Sakura's feet. She by all means tried not to touch those disgusting creatures, but they, as they covered the entire room completely, began to crawl up this girl's legs. She felt a shiver run through her body, as she felt the disgusting texture of the worms crawling up her body.
"Please! Nooo! Get away!"
Unable to stand, she finally gave in and fell backwards onto the maggots. Just then, they began to move all over her body, hungry for magical energy and....
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Sakura let out a loud scream feeling those little monsters begin to bite her. However, this was far from over as some of the worms embedded themselves under her skin, ultimately giving her one of the worst sensations.
"NOOOOOOOO! IT HURTS! AHHHHHHHHHH!"
With tears of pain, with her whole body being abused by these monsters, Sakura shook herself trying to push the worms away, but when she managed to free herself from a few, others jumped on top of her.
"HELP ME! PLEASE!"
There was no one at that moment who could help her. She was only left to continue to suffer this pain until the old man decided when to end it. With those creatures abusing her body, with the pain and the sickening feeling it caused her, she closed her eyes tightly and thought of the one person who always protected her.
Toru...
"ONII-SAN!!!"
...
...
...
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A mechanised voice echoed inside Sakura's mind. Then, inside her mind, a distant shadow appeared in the middle of an ocean of infinite blood. The shadow seemed to say something to her, but Sakura, in the pain she was feeling at that moment, could not understand it. Still, something strange happened after the voice stopped sounding.
Sakura somehow stopped feeling the worms around her. When she opened her eyes, everything was vanishing like dust in the air.
She felt confused for a few seconds, as the whole room was empty after that.
Filled with darkness, loneliness, she looked at her naked body. It was full of marks and bruises. Inside, she had the feeling that something was moving inside her body, something disgusting that caused her slight sensations of pain and another strange sensation that she couldn't understand due to her young age.
After what those worms did to her, Sakura hugged herself and began to cry silently. And at the same time, at the top of the stairs, Zōken had seen everything that happened after feeling a slight headache.
'This girl... on her own disintegrated a large portion of my worms...'
A dormant power within her, like a bond that connected to someone specific. It was strange, but this girl was certainly not someone normal. He had planned to leave her all night in this place, but it looks like that will be quite difficult.
'Hm... for the time being...'
He grabbed Sakura's clothes and threw them inside the room. Sakura looked up tearfully and saw the old man.
"Get dressed and go to sleep."
With that, the night was over...
To be continued...