1. The introduction

I don't know why i'm doing right now but I will transport you to my journey to archive the impossible. I will bring you through everything I went through. Pain, happiness, doubt, insecurities and a lot of bunch of things to prove you that everything is possible. Plus, I'm going to share my thinking because I don't want people to feel how I feel consistently. I hope you will recognize some part in you in the story. The first thing I'm going to do is to tell you my mind set and who I am. Then I will told all of you my dream.

ps: I won't say when I take a shit or when I beat my meat.

To start, I'm a 17 year old guy who live in Canada. I am a very lucky guy. I got a family ''friends'', I appreciate anime, I found my "passion" in life and I don't know what is to "feel".

I don't know what is it because I don't feel things that are important to people, I can "smile" but still feel empty, I don't know why living is important and why been alone is "bad". I directly say that I am not depressed it just I don't understand some stuff. I didn't feel "love" or anything of a person nor an event really. For example if you ask me to say when I was "happy" I won't be able to answer you. I will clarify you why but first let's talk about the stupidest thing that exists "love". that stupid shit can make you do stuff that you don't initially wanted to do but you will do it because you love someone that's stupid. The number of times that I ear that a guy did everything for a girl and in the end they broke up. Plus, when I see people who aren't in high school seriously dating and people my age getting married with person 4 years older that I know they will divorce in 3 years max. that makes me ''laugh''. You may ask ''why does he put quotation marks on some word?" It is because I don't know what are these represent yet. That's one of the two reason I'm still alive.But I will go deeper later. It's time to talk about my surrounding.

I got two sisters two parents and cousins that I consider as my brother and sister they are always there when I need them but some of my cousins are in France so it's more difficult to stay connected. My sister are annoying as fuck and my parents are "kind" but I still fell alone. I don't know why but I have a part in me that still isn't filled. I haven't talked to my parents about what I'm thinking because I don't want them to worry about me. because I think that is the worst thing you can do make people that "care" about you worry. I got a good amount of great "friends". We used to play basketball video games and hang out but I'll still feel alone. the same thing with my family. If say that I need a girlfriend you mustn't read correctly till here. I think that is the last thing that I want. I don't trust teachers who are saying that they will help us if we need them becauseI used to be bullied in primary school. I told a teacher what was going on and she said to the guys to stop. Yes just to stop. Guess what? they didn't stop. I returned to the teacher and she said fix it your self at a 8 years old. If an eight years old can get help imagine a seventeen years old about feeling. Because of that I learn that everyone except me is useless. I am over with the emotional part. It is time for you to know how I got my passion and my first dream.

My passion is basketball. I ''love'' this sports so badly i could play 5 hours straight whitout a single break. But if my sister wasn't there I wouldn't have find it. Because when I was younger if my sister did one thing I will do the same this. she played soccer, she did teakwondo, swimming and basketball.I did every single one of them and I beat her at every single sport except swimming... that's so tuff swimming broskie. I knew I wasn't born for this but I knew since the first time the 12 years old me touch a basketball that I wanted to be the best at it. but I didn't know shit about it. My cousin gave me my first basketball with ''Lebron'' on it. when I asked him who he was bro his eyes were wide open. That was funny. This make me want to become an Hall of Famer in the NBA. I played basketball in my primary school and I was the second best on the team so I tought I was going to be the best in high school. If you want to know my first year in high school you'll have to read the next chapter who represents where everything started to my mindset to me emotionally.

ps: if you comment things that could help me with clarified my mind you are welcome. and Naruto is better that one piece 😁.