19 Failed Plans

"Marcy?!" I yelled just after I'd shut our room's door.

Marcellus didn't tell me anything about the after effects from the fight when I woke up so I just assumed he was fine. I would've despised myself for not asking if he was actually just keeping another thing to himself.

Except he was fine. In fact, he was so fine that me rushing in the way I did worried him.

"Diego?" the man said as he got off his seat on the window seal and walked towards me, eyes roaming around my body. "Is everything alright?"

Saints, don't tell me I just overreacted and made a fool of myself?

"…Are you alright?"

The nobleman's expression turned from worried to confused and I couldn't help but press my face to my hands and groan softly.

I did, in fact, just overreacted. 

Why can't I just be normal around you?

"Fuck me," I groaned before running my hands up into my loose hair. "I thought something happened to ya like you were in pain from the fight or something. Why'd you leave?"

Marcellus' confused expression fell and for the first time that night, that soft smile was directed at me. Fuck the embarrassment, that alone made me feel like I'd won a pot of gold.

"No, no. I am well, I assure you." The smile wavered for a moment as he glanced around the dimly lit room, their only source of light being the candle beside Marcellus' bed. "I just…needed some time to myself. Thinking about where to go next. Might need to return to my land soon."

My elation quickly died and I wanted to run out of the room.

He'd finally said what I'd been expecting. He was leaving. I knew this. Everyone knew this. So why did the thought fill me with so much panic?

I didn't know if it was the small bit of alcohol still in me or my impulsiveness rearing its ugly head, but the next words I spoke made me want to build a deep hole and be buried in it.

"Must you? Return, I mean."

Marcellus looked down at me again, his full expression unreadable but his raised eyebrow showed he didn't understand what I meant.

So of course, in true Diego style, I rambled. It was the nerves.

"I mean you being here means there's someone watching over your territory, right?"

"My brother, yes."

He has family?

Can't get sad. Can't get sad.

"Yeah, your brother!" I cleared my throat. "And you liked it in our town, I know you did. Plus everyone loves you andâ€""

"Diego."

I stopped my rambling and sighed, looking up at the man as he stepped closer to me.

He looked confused again, but also a little desperate.

"Diego…You wish I stayed."

It was a statement instead of a question. He knew, meaning no point of denying it, so I nodded.

I heard him suck in a quiet breath before asking, "Why?"

"Because we're friends?"

That was such a dumb response.

"Why do you wish me to stay? By all accounts, I am a mere customer at your inn." Marcellus got closer and closer as he spoke until he was standing directly in front of me. 

His eyes were assessing every single speck on my face as he continued, "I have seen many of your guests come and go, many of them closer and longer friends to you compared to I. So why me? Why do you wish I stay."

I wanted to tell him then and there. It was at the tip of my tongue. But that fear. That fear that he would've left anyway if I did lingered at the back of my mind.

So I stayed quiet, and Marcellus sighed.

"Alright." He took a step back and I almost reached out to stop him. "That is not a decision I can make, however. And as you have confirmed, I am fine, so you may return to that 'Caterina~'."

That tone, the way he'd said her name. It made me pause for a moment. He'd practically spat out her name as he sat back down on the window seal.

He'd also been avoiding me since I'd accidentally agreed to the village head's request.

No way, I thought in slight disbelief. There's just no way.

I remembered the odd look of irritation that flashed over his face whenever he'd heard I'd been with Maria again. The sometimes twitch his eyebrow had when I came to my inn with someone and the tightness in his voice. The pleased look on his face when I had to send them back without doing anything because I had preferred just drinking and talking the night away with Marcellus.

There was just no way. Or am I actually that fucking slow?

"…Right," I said slowly, hoping that my likely dumb plan worked. "Well! If you say you're fine, then I'll believe you. I better get back out there before Cat thinks I rejected her."

I watched his face intensely as I spoke, but his expression did not change. He still looked like the same calm and collected Marcy.

Did I get this wrong?

"Best be on your way then, Diego. The full moon is still out and it's ever so beautiful. It is also quite rude to keep a lady waiting." The nobleman's melodic voice did not change. He'd even turned to give me an encouraging smile.

And just like that. The small flicker of hope I felt fizzled out, leaving me somewhat furious. Not at the noble, but at myself.

I was so fucking pathetic. I couldn't believe I was actually hoping he would've been even a little jealous.

I left the room, but I didn't go to find Caterina. That sweet girl didn't deserve to play my rebound especially after what she'd been through.

I instead made my way back up the mountains through the end of the village. I need to punch something and the trees and rocks seemed like good opponents.

——

"Saints above I needed that bath," I muttered to myself as I walked down the hallway of the guest house, headed for my room. 

I'd been in the mountains for a while, the party having died down by the time I'd made it back to the village. My fists were bright red and had some blood on them, plus I was sweaty and smelled so I spent an even longer time in the village's community bathhouse.

The owner had even been kind enough to lend me a clean shirt, though it was more on the tight side. Almost felt like I was going to rip it if I moved the wrong way.

But I needed that, the overexertion and the bath. I felt calmer. Not exactly calm enough to face Marcellus yet, which was why I'd made a point to check the window outside to see if the candle was still lit.

Thankfully, it looked like Marcellus had gone to bed so I had planned to quietly sneak into the room and rush into bed.

That had been the plan.

I was clearly not that lucky when it came to plans, because as soon as I walked in, Marcellus had pinned me to the door with his arms on either side of my head.

"What the fu—"

"Why do you want me to stay?"

My eyes widened as I looked up at Marcellus' face. His brown eyes had that red tinge to them again and he looked down at me with a similar expression as he'd had back in the cave.

Anger mixed in with a hint of desperation and something akin to hunger. He looked ready to either fight me or cry.

I hated myself for finding him even so attractive in the odd situation. His white shirt was unbuttoned at the top and he smelled of roses, clearly having used the guestroom's bath recently. His curly hair even looked a little damp, the curls looser than before.

I should've probably been a little terrified, considering I was sure that the nobleman was strong enough to end me from what I'd seen. But I was only trying to stop myself from getting hard in what was obviously not the time for it.

"…Marcy," I said carefully, not at all loving nor hating the position I was in. "Marcy, calm down."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting the air out with a sigh as his expression eased up.

I watched him as he did all that, gulping when his calmer expression was pinned on me again.

"Why did you want me to stay?"

"Is that important? You're leaving either way."

"I need to know, Diego."

"You don't." I was starting to get angry as well. He was never this pushy when I didn't feel like telling him something and this was one of the big things I'd have rather kept to myself.

That pained expression came back and Marcellus surprised me. He moved his hands to gently grip mine as he rested his forehead on my shoulder. His hair tickled my neck.

I was so fucking confused.

"Please," he begged softly.

I closed my eyes and blurted out the words, saying 'fuck it' to myself. If it made the man never want to see me again, so be it. I'd just die alone like I had originally planned. The secret was eating me alive either way.

"I don't know. I just…I might be falling for you, is all."

Marcellus went quiet for a moment too long and I moved to get away from him.